Time's A Wastin'!

Ballz o fire! They'z discovered the fowntn o ewth! Er, wayull, almoss: iss gonna be 'rrived at by tiny steps, cuz they kin only 'pprowch it a second at a time (news: "2006 has been postponed by a second"). Ah don unnerstan why they coon'ta worked on this decadez ago, so't ah woon't be a hunnert 'n four now! They cooda slowed time down a secund a day. Just thank, ah cooda bin mebbe 60 this year! Jumpin with inergee, hardlee inny wrinklz, n eyez sharp'z a hawk!

Short 'n 2 the Poynt

The mannequinizm ishoo got me googlin, 'n ah fown sum reel good kwotes:

"If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary." (Federalist Papers)

"Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people." (Giordano Bruno)

"Complete equality isn't compatible with democracy, but it is a agreeable to tolitarianism. After all the only way to ensure the equality of the slothful, the inept and the immoral is to suppress everyone else." (Iain Benson)

**"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. "  (Groucho Marx)

**"The tendency of democracies is, in all things, to mediocrity, since the tastes, knowledge, and principles of the majority form the tribunal of appeal." (James Fenimore Cooper)

**"It is the besetting vice of democracies to substitute public opinion for law. This is the usual form in which the masses of men exhibit their tyranny." (James Fenimore Cooper)

**"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right." (H. L. Mencken)

**"Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." (Ben Franklin)

**"Tyrants have not yet discovered any chains that can fetter the mind." (Colton)

**"Freedom without obligation is anarchy. Freedom with obligation is democracy." (Earl Riney)

**"A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government." (Edward Abbey)

**"In free countries, every man is entitled to express his opinions and every other man is entitled not to listen." (G. Norman Collie) [Ceptin, of course, when the one expressin the opinyunz haz kntroll o the media, the skoolz, the ennertainmint industry, the judiciary, n every uther orgun o inflooince; innat case, ewe kint git aWAY frum 'at set ov opinyunz.]

**"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously." (Hubert H. Humphrey)

**"The cure for the evils of Leftism is more Leftism." (Granny, with apawlujeez ta H.L. Mencken)

Mannekinz, Part 2

Seemz ta me 'at them folk who runz the anti-mannikinizm croosayd haz made plitiklizm thur rlijn. Iss a varyashn o good wurks theawlujee. Kahnda the sekyooluriss twist on Mormunizm: ya gotta do at leess X amownt of involvmint fer the cawz er yew iz a pee-on (ah alwayz git a kick outta 'at lass wurd: iss so turriblee diskriptiv, ainit?).

Ah Ain't no Doll

Tudday, ah saw a ad fer "FightMannequinism.org." Mannequin: 'at looks lahk a fancy-doodle word fer gnome er troll er leprikawn. But it ain't: ah done look it up, n iss the word fer them plastik dawlzzatchoo fahn modlin cloze n sech.

Aw right, ah stan crektid, but what in blaziz iz "mannequinizm" and whah do ah need ta fight it (iss bad enuff fahtin the everlastin termites in mah house [them'z the locull inserjints]; ah hain't got no more zip fer no uther "fights")? Izziz sum sorda plot by the PETA folk ta ixtind animull "rights" ta adult-sized plastik dawlz? Er mebbe iss sum ole hippiez on a croosayd aginst "the plastic society." Maybe, too, they think mannequinz oughtta be owtlawd cuz they're too "boorjwah," too fokisst on whatchoo look lahk. Er mebbe, iss the Fiminaziz gittin' all bint outta shape (haz yew nodisst 'at Fiminiss favert ixerssahz iz Yoga? Shore it iz! Yoga mekks you git all bint outta shape, too) bec. mannekinz promulgates (assa new word the Perfessr recintly larnd me!) a ardifishl vyoo o wimmin.

Nope, wrong agin: iss a campayn ta git yung folk involved plitiklee. 'Cordin ta the coynerz of the term, mannequinizm iz whin ewe ain't doin NUTHIN attawl plitikl. Spozidly iss a dizeez. N the cure iz real simpl: "All a person suffering from mannequinism has to do is be involved in an issue or cause he or she cares about---this could be volunteering at a local campaign office or non-profit organization, spending time out in the field, talking to your friends about issues, talking to strangers about the issue, registering to vote, voting, putting up flyers, writing a letter to the editor--- there are so many choices..."

Wayull, ah guess spluttrin at mah blawg aginst the Leftists (n shootin at snoopy Revenooerz) wood kwalify, woonchoo uhgree? N ah do vote, too, altho ah iz tahrd o wannabe Dimmercrats hidin out in the Republikn Pardy (ah luv whut Tony Snow callz'm: "Republicans in [political] drag;" ain't that the biggest hoot? Issa purfekk descripshn!).

Bud ah iz still wunnrin: who SEZ bein aplitikl iz a dizeez? Whud abowt folk who think **plitiklizm** iz a dizeez? Ah kin jis see it now: the plitiklists (who'z nuthin but the furss cuzzinz ov them Revenooerz) will pass an ole law kndemmin innybuddy who shunz plitikl involvmint---most nodubblee, plitikl involvment 'at ain in uhcord with the gowlz o the Sosho-Plitikl turmites.

They'z Got Parda Thur Answer

I stumbld on a fassnatin thang yesterdee; iss called "nannyteknawlujee," and evidentlee, it intailz sum risks:

-----An often cited worst-case scenario is "grey goo", a hypothetical substance into which the surface objects of the earth might be transformed by self-replicating nanobots running amok, a process which has been termed global ecophagy. Defenders point out that smaller objects are more susceptible to damage from radiation and heat (due to greater surface area-to-volume ratios): nanomachines would quickly fail when exposed to harsh climates. This argument depends on the speed of which such nanomachines might be able to reproduce....A variant on this is "Green Goo", a scenario in which nanobiotechnology creates a self-replicating nano machine which consumes all organic particles, living or dead, creating a slime -like non-living organic mass----- [frum Wikipedia]

Furss ov all, ah guess whin mah karkiss decidez ta moove on, I'll turn inta a mass o "grey goo," too.

Sekunlee, them thar nanobots runnin amuck rmahndid me o that story bowt the Sorssrur'z Prenniss: ah LUV the music fer that by Dukas: Skoolmarm played it fer me whin she rayud mah lass poss. Ah rekkun ole Neil Possmun cood claim that song az hiz mawdo song, donchoo? After awl, he wuz the feller who koynd the phrase, "culchrull resistince fightr" ('ass me to a "T"! Us OzarkFolk haz been the Amurrkun cownerpart o them thar Chechnyunz fer a long tahm----only differnce izzat we iz a peessubble varyunt; we don go 'rown blowin innercint [er guilty, fer that maddr] folk ta bits)

Lasslee, "creating a slime -like non-living organic mass" mekks me thank 'at the Darwinists iz missin' a krooshul scorin' poynt here: thur uhponints iz alweez denyin the eggzistince o the pyoodativ [note the pertnint uhloozhn ta stinch in this context!] "prebiotic soup." All the Darwinists havta do iz poynt ta this "goo" bizniss ta prove 'at pardda thur theeree (which howevr don in inny way ixplayn the mekanizm 'at suppozidlee kawzd that ole bugbear verdikl evilooshn).

Eggd On Ta Eat'm

Ahz alweez LUVD aygz; ah cood eat'm 3x/day: scrambld, fried, hard-bolld (jiss don pass me no aygz Binidict er soff-bolld---unLESS yew'z got sum pink stuff right thar with the sawlt 'n 'peppr shekkrz!). Well, now ah know why they'z got me hooked: avidin. Ah jis rayud 'at thassa proteen'ts in aygz. Not hard ta beleeve: ahz AVID bowt gittin them aygz IN mah mouth! Now who'dda thawt 'at aygz'd contayn a self-divuljin ingreedjunt, to boot one 'at mekks ewe uhddiktid?

Sakes alahv! Wayd'll them revenooerz git a loada THIS! They'll be cummin' fer mah chikkinz! :( :( :(

Head fer the shed, ahza gittin mah shootin' ahrn! (N them chikkinz iz gonna git hid in the treez----after ah gloo thur traps shut with a tblsp. each of peenut buddr [they iz CRAZZZZZZY bowt the stuff; n a whole tbsp. should keep'm silent fer about 4 ahrz minimum]. But now, yew jiss mekk shore ewe don go tellin' the PETA folk bowt this vurzhn o "sahlincer" ah yooziz on mah cacklrz. Ah don need no crazy furshirts inneemor'n ah need their still-stanchin' revenooer kawleegz).

Stealin' A Oldster???

They'z been bellyachin' so much 'bowt dennidy theff. Hollerin all ovr the place bowtcher havin ta be keerful bowt gittin yer name n uhddress n Sosh"Skyooridee" nummer stoled, n yer bank acct. nummer n whut all I don evn KNOW!

Wayull, ah guess this iz unuther binifit o bein a Ozarx Hillbilly, cuz who'n thur raht MAHN'd wanna be ME?? Fer starderz, ah ain't got no credit card. Pennyluss, toothluss, shoeluss, clueluss...Rich in wrinklz 'n bone-aches...Ah jiss kin't majin whut the uhttrakshn'd be.

Waydda minit!!! Ballz o fahr!!! Ewe rekkin they might be thankin bowt tekkin ovr mah still? That'd be a KUH-LAMMMMMMM-iddy!!!!

Head fer the shed! Ahz gittin mah shootin ahrn!

Artificial Yet Axiomatic Sunderances

Legal positivism assumes that law can be separated from morality, indeed, that it MUST be separated from morality. (Why does this remind me so much of the view that dead bodies are perfectly legitimate harvesting grounds for dental gold, for calcium from bones, for lampshades from skin, for soap from fat, and for felt from hair?)

No doubt, Wilhelm Frick would heartily agree. (P)

If He Wuz the Pope, Ah Maht Evn Turn In2 a Cathlick

(Just kiddin; nuthn cood cawz me ta go off the deep ind THAT bad! But he **IZ** one o mah favurt thinkerz.) Richard John Neuhaus recently wrote,

>>> Scientia means the state of knowing as distinguished from ignorance or misunderstanding. When it comes to the origins and nature of life in all its forms, many ways of knowing come into play. What qualifies by an excruciatingly narrow definition of science is joined by life experience, historical witness, signals of transcendence, reliable testimony, and an eminently reasonable understanding of revelation. Knowledge well employed leads to wisdom. <<<

>>> The ID movement is a critical part of a necessary corrective of a stiflingly reductive view of human knowing. The hysterical reaction to the movement by some in the science establishment is a sign of their desperation. They cling to neo-Darwinist orthodoxy in the way that others clung to Freudianism and Marxism, screaming in protest until, under the weight of cumulative evidence, the plausibility of their belief systems collapsed and they were finally forced to release their grip. Like dogmatic neo-Darwinists, they were in thrall to a powerful myth. <<< [mah imfasis]

Az evr, Sir Neuhaus, yew haz lazr-point vizhn.

Tsk, Tsk

>>> it seems the height of hypocrisy to be constantly characterizing evolution as "just a theory" while accepting it to just the extent required to account for the abundance of species in the wake of a supposed global flood, and carping that "no one has ever seen it happen" while assuming that dogs turned into coyotes and horses into zebras." <<<

This kwote appeerd in the blawg of a jennlmun who iz yoozhlee jinrully well-verst. But this tahm, he iz disappoyntin me. Not bec. he disagreez with hiz nemesis, them blastid varmints, the Creashniss, but rathr, bec. ah wooda ixpectid beddr outta him.

Whut happind, Sir? Iz ewe trooly az ignurnt az this kwote wood leed the reedr 2 beleev, or iz yew practissin disinjinyewussniss? Ahz referrin here ta yer conflatin applz n ornjiz, viz. micro-evolution vs. macro. (Evidintly ewe din't read mah poss, sevrull munss back, bowt the same taktik used by a writr from TIME magazine whin he wuz cuvrin the brouhaha in the Kansas skoolz.) Innybuddy who'z evn illimintrully fumilyer with the Creationiss' argyewmints iz awayer 'at they don in the LEESS deny horzonull evilooshn, kwite simply cuz it's been dimonstratid. Whut they DON iksepp iz verdikl evilooshn---aka Darwinizm---or the aksyomaddik doctrine 'at horzonull leedz ta verdikl.

Cuz nunna thass been proovn.

Muttrinz O the Myootneerz

Sum insomniak jiss wrote me a fryin email (in referns ta ma poss 2 intreez down) akyoozin me o straynin gnats. "I proceeded to google the citation and found that it was from a text written by the venerable Stephen Jay Gould. [Notice how he deferz to Gould ziff the man wuz sum sorda High Priest---or Pope, maybe even.] Pusillanimously, you carp about a picayune detail, all the while totally ignoring the core issue, viz. the fatuousness of Creationism." [He'z raht on the buttn bowt me bein puzzld. But ah had alreddy uhdmittid az much.]

Wayull, now, iffn ah wuz gonna iggzawstivlee grappl with the whole ishoo of Creationism (or ID) vs. Darwinizm, firss ov all, I'd havta opin up a whole new blog, 'n second, ah'd jiss be rehashin whuss alreddy out thar (not ta minshn 'at ah ain't kwalifahd ta pontifikayt on sech an awgust topik----ahz jiss a OzarxGranny who seez the Fingerprints o The Creator all ovr the yoonivers; ah truss mah kommun sinse, not the ardifishl sawfistreez o axe-grindin "scientists"). Az inneewun knowz who'z kepp up with mah blawg, ahz jiss a cantankruss commintatr who yewziz her blawg ta vint abowt tidbits here 'n thar, not summun who'z tryin ta win the Nobel Prize fer outstandin essayz. (Not ta minshn 'at summa mah blawg reedrz haz tole me they don read none o the hevvy-doody intreez bowt politix or Darwinizm that ah haz 'kayzhnullee postid.)

But jiss fer fun, ah askt the Perfessr ta liss fer me sum o the thangz't make him doobyuss 'bowt Darwinism, also called macro-evolooshn. Here'z whut he pervahdid (frum mah notes, so don go criticizn the Perfessr):

1. Micro-evolution has never been demonstrated to cause macro-evolution. (Ahz assoomin this meenz't fer iggzampl the vuryuus tahps o mice we haz kint nevr morph inta ellifunts.)

2. Evolution isn't creative; it merely creates stasis. (Nope, jis lahk a inflooinss kint be "thankful," ah dowt a nachrull process kin be creaydiv. Only summun pursnull kood be creaydiv.)

3. Natural Selection is a tautology. (This muss mean 'at Darwinizm is a doctrine tawt ovr 'n ovr, which ah haz indeed notisst: watch inny kahnda science TV program or read inny kahnda book 'bowt science or soshology or evn murrtl cownslin, 'n ewe git slathered with Darwinizm az a axyum. Iss jiss a givn. Iss lahk iss the Fundaminnl Fack o the Yoonivurs.)

4. The Fossil Problem. (Ah reckon them ole bonez'd be a problim, all raht. Ah know mahn iz.) He sed this includid the whole isshoo ov the Cambrian Ixplozhn (Wuz they mekkin bombz all the way back thin?) n tranzishnl innermeedyuts, n mass extinkshnz n myootashnz.

5. The Vertebrate Sequence.

6. The Molecular Evidence.

He sed wun o the bess books ta read on the subjick was Phil Johnson's DARWIN ON TRIAL. He sed 't Stephen Jay Gould wint buhllistik bowt that book. (Zat the "Gouldian Explozhn"?) He also refurrd me ta a liss o uhssumpshnz 'at Darwinists hol sakrid:

Assumpshn 1: That non-living things gave rise to living material, i.e. that spontaneous generation occurred. (Ain't that the stuff of Greek mythz? Lahk Veenuss poppin outta Zoosiz hayud.)

Assumpshn 2: That spontanyuss jinerashn only uhkurrd oncet.

Assumpshn 3: That viruses, bacteria, plants n critterz are all interrelatid.

Assumpshn 4: That the protozoa gave rise to the metazoa. (Zat whut cawzd the Cambreeyun Ixplozn?)

Assumpshn 5: That the various invertebrate phyla are interrelatid.

Assumpshn 6: That the invertebrates gave rise to the vertebrates. (More fyool fer that thar Cambreeyun Ixplozhn.)

Assumpshn 7: That the vertebrates and fish gave rise to the amphibia, the amphibia to the reptiles, and the reptiles to the birds and mammals. (Kintchoo jiss SEE a lizard turnin inta a turkey? Or a snekk inta a peacock? LMTO! Hayulp, ahz gonna die o stomick cramps!)

By their nature, the 7 assumptions are not capable of experimental verification.

Nuther wurdz, no maddr how hard ah try ta git mah lizzrd ta lay'n ayug 'at turnz inta a prize-winnin gobbler, ah ain't gonna suxeed. 'Ass a dissapointmint. Ah cooda yoozd the $$$ from winnin furss place at the Fair.

PS 2 the Prevyuss Poss

Sumpin ayuls 'bowt that sintince botherz me, too: obveeusslee, the awthr o that text mint that he wuz thankful 'at the influinss o that purtiklr set o ahdeez wuz shortlivd. But here's the rub: who's he thankful to?

Jiss wunnrin....

Puzzlin Anthropomorphkashn

Ah wuz puzzld bah this tidbit: "reached its acme of thankfully temporary influence." Since whin is influinss "thankful"? Ah dubble-checkt with the Perfessr 'bowt this (cuz us Ozark-folk ain't awleez shore 'bowt grammr-stuff, az ewe haz no dowt guesst frum ahr Anglish), and he knfurmd mah suspishnz: too many folk use "thankfully" the wrong way. He gimme a iggzampl of how it'd be keerektly yewzd: "Thankfully, the Katrina victims received the aid from private charities and from the gov't." Or, agin, "Thankfully, the destitute tornado victim moved into the temporary shelter."

Inneeway, the Perfessr said 'at that misyooss was an iggzampl of whut's called a danglin modifier. (Persnully, when I hear "danglin modifier," ah thank o thangz't hang offa certain hyoomunz, distinguishin them frum t'uthr side of hyoomaniddy; a karkiss 't sports one o thim thar dangler gidjits haz definitely been modified frum the more streamlahnd type o karkiss.) He said 'at moss o the tahm whin folk yooze "thankfully" the wrong way, they really shooda yoozd "fortunately" instayud.

(Footnote: Thankfully, ah don havta live with nobody whose smugniss is so thick, it blahndz'm ta evn the most elimintree roolza grammr).

A New Twist On the Magic Powder In "MidsummerNIght's Dream"

Ah need this sumpin FEERSS! Too bayud they din't cum up with it till now. Shavin 6 paltree yurz offa 104 don gimme much ov a uhdvannij! :(

http://www.gizmag.com/go/4159/

The Increasingly Ugly Left by Tammy Bruce

The Rosa Parks Madnessby Jared Taylor [That's not a typo: the title refuses to come out right.]

Colin Powell's Tape Shows Iraqis 'Evacuating' WMDs [HELLO LIBERAL MSM]

Chanjin ov the Gard

A injin 'at's headid fer 105 iz regressin ta the Tin Lizzy state. (Jiss call me Ozarx Tin Lizzy!) Frum nah on, ahz passin the torch ta Skoolmarm 'n the Perfessr, altho ah'll still be viztin now 'n thin (whin ah gits RAHLD enuff by them toxik Sosho-Plitikl turmites, AKA "Liberals/Leftists/'Moderates' ")----kahnda the uhmurtuss bloggr. Ewe mah reedrz'll be tekkin keer ov jiss fahn bah mah 2 frinz, cuz they'z a whole lot more innerlekshull 'n me.

Horowitz on Mr. Wolf's Attempts 2 Seem Harmless

Taking On The Neo-Coms Part I

Taking On The Neo-Coms, Part II

He Should Know!

"The shared antipathy for the United States between open self-declared enemies like Galloway and Zarqawi and "liberals" who detest both is what allows liberals -- like the Wall Street lawyers mobilized by Ratner -- to be recruited to the destructive agendas of the anti-American jihad."
(David Horowitz, former Red Diaper Baby)

Ironic Islamophilia

>>>Ever since 9-11, Islam has been a topic of debate in many circles. President George Bush announced that Islam is a “religion of peace.” Leftists, though, in particular have convinced us that to criticize Islam is to be “intolerant.” This has created a culture unwilling to call Islam for what it is...

How can enlightenment come if man is completely cut off from reality? What scientific progress can come from the chemist who doesn’t study chemicals or the biologist who doesn’t study animals?...

Leftists defending Islam is the height of hypocrisy. On all fronts – in the areas of human rights, tolerance, reason, science, progress – Islam comes up consistently as one of the most evil scourges to have hit the face the earth. It is not a religion of peace; it is a violent religion. Wherever it rears its ugly head, it creates for oppression, tyranny, and a lowered standard of living. A person who truly values reason, tolerance, and science would completely and unequivocally denounce Islam. But leftists don’t. Perhaps because they do not [genuinely] stand for any of those things."<<< (From: Defending Islam: The Height of Leftist Hypocrisy)

The Worst Are Full of Passionate Intensity

"Ramadan is not a month for indolence," he screams through a lapel microphone, drawing on Koranic parables about the importance of annihilating al-adou (the enemy) and stressing the Koranic obligation of jihad (spiritual struggle or holy war) during the month of fasting. His voice can be heard clearly in the car park outside.
"Ramadan is a month for jihad upon oneself and jihad upon the enemy," he says, a time when followers must become more disciplined in adhering to the message of the Koran, and more willing and prepared to topple the enemy of Islam: the West. (Read all about it in A call to hate and to prayer)

"Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed,.....
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?" (Yeats)

Hilarious Case O Plitikl Krekniss!!!

"Potato farmers held a noisy protest outside Parliament today to get the term 'couch potato' removed from the Oxford English dictionary, claiming it harms the vegetable's image."

He Got Hizseff a Good Deal!

Fisherman swaps rare, 800 kg turtle for Mercedes Ah wood, too, woontchoo, cuz the Mercedes runz a lot fastr'n sum ole turddl, plus iss more comfurbl.

Thin agin, this wuz a uhmazin turddl, cuz it kin eat JELLYFISH! (Haz it got a rubber mowth?) It cood act like a guard dawg fer that thar fishermun whin he'z out in the waddr.

O corse, his trade cawzd them biologiss ta git thur knickrz in a knot...Whud ayuls iz new?

Not One Ta Take No Guff

"IndiaDaily - Woman chops off husband's penis in Lucknow" Ah reckun she'n Loreena Babbitt'd git along great, dontchoo thank? Maddr o fack, ah thank ah jis maht invite both o thim wimmin ta joyn me n the uthr feisty granniez ah wrote abowt in urlyer poss; we'z gonna cut down on the crime in the wurl!

Korah, Dathan & Abiram Reviztid

Lake disappears, baffling villagers

Fassinatin accownt! Made me thank of NUMBERS 16:30-33.

Boxer Mike Tyson

"Nobody's going to change me. I'm going to fight that. You can't change me; you can't tame me. When you say that, I'm going to bite you even harder. I'm more ferocious, more complicated. I'm not going to let anybody win a popularity contest off my conduct."...."I'm really embarrassed with myself and my life. I want to be a missionary."

??????

Fer Klarfikashn

Skoolmarm poinid out sumpin ta me bowt mah lass poss, so ah thawd ah'd beddr kreck possibl misperssepshnz: mah poss dint meen ta be sayin 'at ah wuz in favr o Gandhi'z verzhn o rlijn; it warn't a plug fer Hindooizm-cum-Theosofee, nor fer so-calld "Librashn Theolujee." It warn't a chummin up with some sorda jinurrik Globl Rlijn, neethr (run frum 'at lahk a deer frum a rattlr!!!).

Bud ah wood uhgree with him 'atcher faith awtter be more'n simply a Sunday-pew hobby (which iz where thim Librulz'd lahk ta religate mah faith to, viz. "yew kin do spurtchul fingerpaintin ta yer hart's kntint." Ah shore won't; the GOD ah wurship ain't no mere toy).

Why'z It OK Fer Him Alone?

Librulz luvz Gandhi. He's their true Jesus Christ. Wayull, lookit summa the thangz he sed, n it jis mekks ewe wunner agin bowt the 2-facedniss of them Librulz. (Ah guess iss agin a maddr ov "sum rlijunz iz more ekwull'n utherz"----ne'er mahn't 'at clashiz with thur litnee 'bowt how all rlijnz basiklee leed ta the same "mowntn top".)

"For me there are no politics devoid of religion. They subserve religion. Politics bereft of religion are a death-trap because they kill the soul. ...For me, politics bereft of religion are absolute dirt, ever to be shunned...every activity of a man of religion must be bound to God, that is to say, God rules your every breath...Therefore, in politics also we have to establish the kingdom of Heaven....The whole gamut of man's activities today constitutes an indivisible whole. You cannot divide social, economic, political and purely religious work into watertight compartments...I can say without the slightest hesitation, and yet in all humility, that those who say that religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion means."

Another Injun seems ta hav simlar ideez:

>>>Politics is religion for the non-religious, Akaash Maharaj says. "Each of us yearns to be part of something greater than ourselves, to realize the pursuit of ideals more noble than the mere satisfaction of personal appetites," he said in an interview this week. "I've always believed that politics is the only secular reply to that yearning."<<<

Ah evn fown this insightfl [edited] poss at a Goth forum: "Regardless of whether a christian, muslim, buddhist, atheist or whoever is in power, the laws will be made in relation to their beliefs. You cannot escape it. Religion IS politics, politics IS religion...Whatever you adhere to, will influence how you run whatever it is you are running...Whether one person's beliefs should be forced on everyone else? Well, if you don't like it, do something about it. It is much easier to do so in a democratic country. However, the fact remains, that doing something about it is actually doing exactly what you are complaining about. Forcing your beliefs/religion/politics on someone else. " (WillowVine)

Lahk it sed in wun o mah uther poss, yoominz jis kint git away frum the spurtchull natcher o life.

Works Both Ways

Time Magazine (Stealth Attack On Evolution) relegates I.D. to the category of smokescreen for Creationism. Hmmmnnn...Well, if that's so, then we need some good, hard articles from that same periodical and its cohorts about Darwinism as nothing more than a smokescreen for Reductionist Secularism. (SK)

You Said It, Suh!

"I will not impose upon them my religion, which is Christianity. But let them not impose upon me and my fellow Christians their religion, which is secularism. Secularism is a religion of its kind, and usually a very loud-spoken and intolerant religion. Nonsectarianism is not secularism, and when nonsectarianism is intended, the secularist sect must not claim for itself the field which it refuses to others." (Archbishop Ireland)

"A secular religion, like many more traditional faiths, might logically seek to promulgate its own set of values and beliefs in opposition to competing value and belief systems. Since such a religion would by its nature have no churches, congregations or pulpits, its forum might be the outlets of popular culture such as media and entertainment. It might also include the court system." (from the blog "No Illusions")

Izzis Whutcha'd Call a "Jet Birth"?

Teenager gives birth at 85 MPH Ha'd she manij ta push that fass?

A Li'l Belatid, Ah'd Say

Mass. Gov. Romney calls red tide disaster: 6/ 10/ 2005 Whuss his problem? 'At state's been ailin' frum a plitikl Red Tide fer dekadez.

Uncomfterbl Kuzznz

Whut do pot 'n chokklit hav in common? Anadamide. Ah see in that word: "an Adamide" meenin, no doubt, 'at iss sumpin 'at perdoossiz the same feelinz o yooforya them 2 first purrints had in Edin. (See also Chocolate: food or drug?)

Fun Fakk: in '96, whin the firss studee bowt anadamides cum out, reprizzinnatives of the majr chokklit cumpneez "were worried," the researcher said, "that they would have to put a warning from the Surgeon General on their products." LMAO! Woon't that be JIS lahk thim byoorerkrats???

Chokklit: the ristakraddik verzhn o pot.

....On 2nd thawt, ewe thank mebbe next that ole War on Drugs'll persikyoot mah favrit treet? Ballz o fire!!! Ah beddr go clean out the Walmart candy sekshn n do lahk them Mormonz: pile mah cellar high with Hershey'z kissiz (ah kin hide'm all ovr iff'n the Revenooerz raidz mah shack)!

Chokklit 2 the Reskyoo!

Stoned chocaholics? Mah preevyuss poss led me ta look up more bowt chokklit, n this wuz wun o mah fahnz. Iss ROTFL! :)

Whah Ah Iz Nevr Depresst

"The craving for chocolate may come from phenylethylamine, which facilitates l-tryptophan uptake, potentially increasing endogenous antidepressants." Ah had the perfessr tranzlate 'at fer me n it meenzzat all the chokklit ah devowr (chokklit:Granny = alkerhol:alkerholik) perdoossiz natchrull happy kemiklz in mah noggin.

Fun Fakk: "chocolatl" iz Aztik fer "food o the godz"----ah thank them Aztiks n me'd git along jis fahn; instedda sittin rown smokin peace pipes, we'd pass arown a giant Hershey'z "Symfunny" bar 'n each tekk a bite.

A PaceMaker Fer the Brayn!!!

VNS, Vagus Nerve Stimulation For Treating Depression A li'l gadjit the size of a pokkitwatch gits stuck inta yer karkiss ('at part don't sown so fun!), n then it ticklz yer brayn inta co-oppratin!

Whut if they cood mekk wun 'at wood tell yer brayn ta keep yer karkiss yung?! Yucky implantin perseedjer notwithstandin, ah'd be the firss ta sign up fer wun! Majin: ah cood liv anuthr hunnert yeerz, but feelin much spryer!

Only obstukkl iz mah pokkitbook. Mebbe thar'z a hillbilly fan out thar who'd lahk ta keep an oldster lahk me alahv fer historikkl valyoo? Jis holler!

The Big Bad Radical Right Theokrussee Haz Begun!

"I was lying in bed with three drunken women and my pet hamster, Bernard, last Sunday morning when it happened.

No knock, nothing.

The local religious SWAT team using a twelve foot crucifix for an ulterior purpose battered down my front door down. Before the splinters quit falling, forty-three ministers, representing sixty-three denominations and two cults, swarmed through my simple abode. They wore ski masks and were heavily armed with Bibles, but I still managed to recognize Jerry Falwell. They burned my box of spaghetti right there on the living room floor explaining, 'It starts with "S"------the same letter Satan starts with. From now on you’ll only be able to purchase paghetti....' " (Don't all'at sown a lot lahk Waco 'n Elian?)

Read the whole spoof @ http://etherzone.com/2005/kali051005.shtml)

The Substance Remainz

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." (Abe Lincoln) 'At sumz up mah pt. back in mah post bowt the wulf.

Works Both Wayz

It takes as much faith to believe that the universe came from nothing as it does to believe that an intelligent eternal being created it. (Duane Alan Hahn)

How 2 Trap Hawking

Cook him a gourmet meal, then ask him if he believes there is a cook. (SK)

Unshakeable Faith

"Great strides are being made with socialism in Zimbabwe under the enlightened leadership of Robert Mugabe. Allowing the starving populace to hunt endangered animals in the game parks is only a temporary setback. [Do ah hear inny squawkin frum the Greenz?] And nothing is too horrible to tolerate to believe socialism is always the right thing." (William Kaliher)

A Wyz Man Said...

Mah reedrz know 't mah tuchstone iz the WURD, so ah don bleev in divinashn, but theez here kwotes frum the Oryent cawt mah fancy:

The superior man understands the transitory in the light of the eternity of the end.

Whoever hunts deer without the forester only loses his way in the forest.

The superior man refrains from resting on his virtue.

(I Ching)

More Mind Muncheez

It is a very good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. (K. Lorenz)

Commitment to a scientific theory can be as charged with emotion as a religious credo. (A. Koestler)

Never fall in love with your hypothesis. (Peter Medawar)

The prototype of the scientist is not the liberator releasing slaves, the good Samaritan lifting up the faller, but a dog sniffing tremendously at an infinite series of rat holes. (Mencken)

Food Fer Thawt

Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood. (Louise Beal)

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. (Ambrose Bierce [who else?])

I'm very critical of the U.S., but get me outside the country and all of a sudden I can't bring myself to say one nasty thing about the U.S. (Saul Alinsky)

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other. (Oscar Ameringer)

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. (Henry Cate)

Any man under 30 who is not a liberal has no heart, and any man over 30 who is not a conservative has no brains. (Winston Churchill)

According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless. (Ashleigh Brilliant)

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. (Hector Berlioz)

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. (De La Bruyere)

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber. (W. Churchill)

What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our mode of questioning. (Heisenberg)

This'd Nevr Happin In Privut Innustree

Military confronts reckless air crashes "...Marine Lt. Gen. Mike Hough complained last summer in a memorandum to his aviation commanders: "We are killing more aircrew in training mishaps than during combat missions. ... I will not tolerate the blatant violations and lack of leadership I am seeing from our aviators." Now, 'ass bad enuff, but thin, you reed this: "...'As long as they don't embarrass the government or hurt anybody, they'll typically be counseled and that will be the end of it,' said law professor Michael Noone at Catholic University. The retired Air Force colonel has prosecuted and defended pilots in crash investigations."

Whut???? How 'bout the millyunz o taxpayer'z $$$$ zat git wastid this way? Iss outRAJJJJJJJJJJuss!

Coont Ruziss Sum More!

marriage: grim area

matrimony: amity norm; no try maim; my main rot;

husband: Bad: shun!!; bad Huns!

husband and wife: Whined, "Bad Snafu!!!"; had feuds, win ban; fanned baud wish; unfaded bash win; dawn banish feud;

politicians: is in capitol; solicit pain; panic oils it; pict liaison; colitis pain; I snail optic!;

relativists: evil artists; vile artists; evil's traits; it's evil rats; it's live rats; evil rats sit; it's evil arts; it's vile arts; varies/tilts

immigration: ignitor imam; maiming riot; rioting imam; grin to Miami;

immigrant: it grim man

foreigners: ignore serf; infers gore; sore finger; sore fringe; serf region; Senor Grief; is en forger;

propaganda: Pandora Gap; do Pagan rap; dragon papa

propagandize: organized pap; appear dozing; Nazi droppage; adore zapping

Bafflin!

Why izzit 'at them Leftists do baysunce ta all other trudishnz o the wurl cepp the Westrn wun? Ta heer'm rant, ya'd think the Wess wuz The Great Satan.

What **IZZZZIT** With Them Corn Snakes?

Screeners Find Live Snake in Suitcase "Screeners with the Transportation Security Administration notified the state after finding the non-venomous 3-foot-long orange-and-white albino corn snake."

Yessrday it wuz a surryul box, taday iss a sootcase. Summun'z got a sick sins a yoomr. Ah feel sorree fer the ownr o the sootcase: "The woman was issued a $5,000 citation for illegal transportation, possession and harboring of a snake. If it isn't paid within seven days, the amount doubles to $10,000." She din't have the foggyest how that thar varmint got in her luggij. Ah thank iss unjuss fer thim ta peenulize her.

Clarifikayshnz Fer the Puzzld

Summun wuz wantin ta know how the annergrayum "can't mend most men" applied ta the Big 10C (see my post "Oh, They'z Goooood!"). Wayull, the bess way ta anser that is with the WORD isself:

"For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh..." (ROMANS 8:3)

Fer them who'z innerestid in more detaylz, go to http://www.desiringgod.org/library/sermons/01/110401.html

Ignoramuses Shoon't Play With Fire

Ah'z been readin arown on the web n cum acrosst this post: "LORD inflicts punishment down to the fourth generation when He's in a forgiving mood." Nuthn lahk uhbismullee misinterpretin the WORD. Less take a kwick look at the vurs in kweschn (az well az a impordunt "cownervurs"----since the only krek way o interpretin a vurs or passij iz in the kontex o the whole Bible):

"...visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me" vs. "The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself."

"visiting the iniquity" don mean punishin; it meanzzat the EFFEX o the sinz o the great-great-grampa still rezunn8s down fer jinerashnz (iggzampl: alkaholizm or drug yoos or okkult practissiz, etc.)

Whenevr we read sumpin bowt God'z doinz, we need ta remimbr the moss impordunt vurs abowt Him: "The LORD, the LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth" (EXODUS 34:6). After all, this iz the same God Who unnerwint horribl agonee fer us, ta save us.

Oh, They'z GOOOOOD!

More anniegrayumz:

Relativism: Evil arms it; evil mars it; evils ram it; is evil mart; vial merits; it's vile arm; it's evil arm; avers limit; it rivals me; emits rival; mires vital; it slav mire

Anarchism: arm chains; China's arm; harm Incas;

Ten Commandments: Mont Cement damns; can't mend most men;

Notcher Standard Crackr Jax Trezhur!

"Boy finds snake in cereal packet" (N here ah thawt ah wuz doin bad, findin earwigz in mah shugr jar!) It wuz a harmliss corn snekk, but the box wuz frum wun o thim diskownt storez.

You reckon sum wag at that surryul compunny wuz tryin ta inclood sum proteen innat surryul?

'At jis furmz me up in mah rsolv not ta buy nuthin at them likwidashn placiz. Ballz o Fire! You jis might ind up buyin sum produck with a skorpyun in it!

Shakin Thangz Up

Sum o ewe folk knowz't ah LUV anagramz, n thar'z the BESS site onlahn! Well, here's sum good stuff that giv me a chuckle:

Adolph Hitler: torah----hell dip; hilltop-heard; hither plod al; hi hatred poll; hot lip herald; Hello, hard pit!; death-hill pro.

Martin Luther King: a right Kremlin nut; right nu at Kremlin; Kremlin thug train; tinkling true harm; thinker grunt "mali!"; lurking Tehran Tim; milking hunter rant;

Barbara Streisand: disaster Arab bran; strained Arab bras; rare as bra bandits; brained Arab stars;

Frank Sinatra: ranks faint 'ra!; fain ranks art

George Washington: gets Norwegian hog; renewing hog to gas;

George W. Bush: grows bee hug; brews ego hug; where bugs go; sewer bog: UGH!; he sow bugger; Woe, shrub egg!; Gosh, wee grub!; Oh, we buggers!; we be rug hogs!

Bolshevism: shove limbs

Democrats: sacred tom; scared tom; mad sector; mad or sect; maced sort; cared most; mad corset [LMAO!]; mad escort; modest car; scream dot;

Republicans: earns public; saner public; curable spin; public snare; biceps run all; plebeian curs; Cuban perils; crabs lineup; club spin era

She'n Me'd Git Along Jis Fahn!

"'Grandma Lillie' Still Feisty at 108 "

"She lived through 20 U.S. presidents and three centuries...five grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren and 11 great-great-grandchildren...never wanted to go to Montana because of the mountains and said she liked the flatness of the Dakotas 'because I can see for 10 miles and see what the neighbors are doing.' "

ROTFL! Ass raht, ewe needta monnidr thur doinz (speshly ta mekk shore they ain't sippin atcher still!!!).

Chimraz of the Gullibl

"Utah Women Sue Religious Group for Fraud"----SALT LAKE CITY - Two women claim they were bilked out of their life savings by an apocalyptic religious group that promised them land and a face-to-face meeting with Jesus Christ."

Gittin bilkt iz sad, but at the same tahm, ass the moss UHBZURD thang ah'z evr hurd! Furss ov all, them wimmin obveeusslee hain't bothrd reedn thur Biblz, cuz if they had, they'da rockitid t'uther way frum inneebodee who promissiz a "face-to-face meeting with Jesus Christ." N they'da smellt a rat, too, bowt the apoklyptik bizniss.

As evr, the WORD keeps us in the trooth: "We walk by faith, not by sight...Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed..."And though you have not seen Him, yet you love Him..."

Leftist Chimeras

Amongst Lefties, the fatuous notion circulates that America is heading for a "Fundamentalist State." Heavens! The Taliban at your doorstep!

ROTFL! As usual with Leftists, their typhlosis needs fixing (or is it their cerebrum?). Consider the facts: for 40 years, all the channels of influence, all the organs of significant power have been monopolized by the Left. TV, the music industry, newspapers, publishing houses, education, Hollywood, the judiciary---- in these crucial areas of cultural domination, conservatives are personae non gratae.

As for the church as an institution, the conservative churches are not The Establishment. "Mainstream" denominations (Episcopalian, Presbyterian USA, Methodist, UCC, et al) all play footsies with the Leftist agenda. They eat out of their hands.

If anything, we are headed for a grotesque world religion, one that would inspire kudos 'n cartwheels from the Leftists, but which would liquidate biblical Christians as "hate-mongers."

Don't believe it? Check out the URI. (SK)

That Pesky Word

Summun wuz tellin me they'z fed up with the kumeelyun kwalidee of the wurd "faith." Challinjd me ta mekk it kleer.

Wayull. Ass a tall ordr, but lemme giv it a try (rmimbr ah'z jis a laywummun, not no simineeri stoont).

Furss, faith AIN'T the same'z sooprstishn. N it ain't wishfl thankin. N it don meen bleevn inneethang't tikklz yer ego er yer eerz (run frum that pizzn lahk a deer stung by a rattlr!!!). N it ain't IRrashnl, but rathr SUPRA-rashnl (ass frum the Perfessr, dontchoo know). The Great Commandmint tellz yew ta luv the LORD yer God with all yer **MIND.** Yew don shelv yer mahnd whin yew cum ta God (aftr all, He giv yew 'at tool n He don wan it ta russ out!) Faith n reezn iz buddiez, not innimeez. Butchoo gotta know how ta yooz'm 'at way (thar'z folk who igzawlt reezn n scorn faith, n thin thar'z folk [not jis Chrischunz] who igzawlt faith 'n scorn the mahnd; neethr ov thim ixtreemz iz biblikl).

2nd, faith in the biblkl sinss (the kahnda faith He'd hav us exerssahz) leenz on Hiz WORD; it don go by varyuss fanceez ov yer own imajinashn er hankrinz. It tests everthang by the sum-todl ov Hiz WORD (which meenz yew gotta be well-verst [ass a pun, git it? :)] in 'at Book); "duzziss teechin/flosuffee/opinyun/exc. skware with His WORD?"

3rd, faith ain't merely mintl ussint: fer igzampl, whin the WORD callz on folk ta put thur faith in Christ, it meenz todl truss n todl ulleejunss. It don meen simply uhgreein 'at Jezus wuz the Son o God in the same way ewe might "beleev" 'at Jorj Washingtun wuz the furss prezzidint of the U.S. or 'at Linkun freed thim slavez.

"Faith" kin also refer ta the body o Chrischun teechinz.

Chanjin Collurz Don't Chanj Innardz

Ah run acrosst this sintince in a ardikkl bowt that abominayshn calld Earth Day: "Lately, environmental groups have been fighting to hold on to the gains of the 1970s and 1980s, but the battles have not been resonating with the voting public."

Ass cuz the invirnmintliss iz fanatix in thur own right. It almoss seemz lahk aftr Commyoonizm croakt, the Redz tradid thur shirts fer green unz. Iss lahk mah storee bowt Mr. Wolf: ewe kin chanj yer exteryer, butcher inteeryer stayz the same.

Too bad 'at folk din't start wakin up bowt all the garbij till the harm'd bin dun.

More Langwij Trix

No dowt, mah reedrz haz offn hurd the turm, "modrutt Rpublikn." Iss wun o the mainsilt medya'z favrt lablz. It sownz so "reeznubbl." The implicashn bein 'at the "uthr" type o Rpublikn iz a rabid 'n unreeznubbl funaddik---nuthn short ov a Talibanite, Amurrkn style.

Hmmmnnn, thass intreegin. Why don we evr heer, fer igzampl, o "modrut Democrats"? Wayull, donchoo know, cuz [implize the mainsilt meedya] all Dimmercrats iz reeznubbl n hyoomane folk. "Modrutt" Dimmircrat'd be a tawtawlujee. (Nevr mahnd thatchoo kint buhgin ta kmpare, say, a Ted Kennedy with a Zell Miller.)

Ah say, call a spade a spade: "modrut" Rpubliknz awtta beddr be calld sumpin lahk "wannabe Dimmercrats" or "clozzit Dimmercrats" or "Dimmercrat molez." THEM'd be truly objectiv diskripshnz.

The Clinchr

This iz Part 3 ov mah mini-seereez ixpozn the Redukshnist Uhginda (kwote frum Phil Johnson):

"The Darwinist strategy depends upon a certain blurring of the issues [see mah poss "Them Distortrz"], and in particular upon maintaining the fiction that what is being promoted is an inoffensive "fact of evolution," which is opposed only by a discredited minority of religious fanatics. As the Darwinists move out to convert the nation's school children to a naturalistic outlook, it may become more and more difficult to conceal the religious implications of their system. Plenty of people within the Darwinist camp know what is being concealed, and cannot be relied upon to maintain a discreet silence. William Provine, for example, has been on a crusade to persuade the public that it has to discard either Darwinism or God, and not only God but also such non-materialistic concepts as free will and objective standards of morality. Provine offers this choice in the serene confidence that the biologists have enough evidence to persuade the public to choose Darwinism, and to accept its philosophical consequences. "

Less Git A Fyoo Thangz Straight, Part 2

More frum ahr good frin, the Berkeley Perfessr Phil Johnson:

"The second strategy is to take advantage of the prestige that science enjoys in an age of technology, by asserting that anyone who disputes Darwinism must be an enemy of science, and hence of rationality itself. This argument gains a certain plausibility from the fact that Darwinism is not the only area within the vast realm of science where such practices as extravagant extrapolation, arbitrary assumptions, and metaphysical speculation have been tolerated. The history of scientific efforts to explain human behavior provides many examples, and some aspects of cosmology, such as its Anthropic Principle, invite the label "cosmo-theology." What makes the strategy effective, however, is not the association of Darwinism with the more speculative aspects of cosmology, but its purported link with technology. Donald Johanson put the point effectively, if crudely: "You can't accept one part of science because it brings you good things like electricity and penicillin and throw away another part because it brings you some things you don't like about the origin of life."

But why can't you do exactly that? That scientists can learn a good deal about the behavior of electrons and bacteria does not prove that they know how electrons or bacteria came into existence in the first place. It is also possible that contemporary scientists are insightful upon some matters and, like their predecessors, thoroughly confused about others. Twentieth century experience demonstrates that scientific technology can work wonders, of course. It also demonstrates that dubious doctrines based upon philosophy can achieve an undeserved respectability by cloaking themselves in the mystique of science. Whether Darwinism is another example of pseudoscience is the question, and this question cannot be answered by a vague appeal to the authority of science."

Less Git a Fyoo Thangz Straight, Part 1

Thar'z science, which iz lejit, n thin thar'z scientizm, the igzaltashn ov muhturyulizm/nachrulizm. The perfessr giv me sum good mutturyul frum Phil Johnson 'at ah wanna poss here:

"Scientism itself is not a fact, however, nor is it attractive as a philosophy once its elements and consequences are made explicit. Persons who want naturalistic evolution to be accepted as unquestioned fact must therefore use their cultural authority to enact rules of discourse that protect the purported fact from the attacks of unbelievers. First, they can identify science with naturalism, which means that they insist as a matter of first principle that no consideration whatever be given to the possibility that mind or spirit preceded matter. Second, they can impose a rule of procedure that disqualifies purely negative argument, so that a theory which obtains some very modest degree of empirical support can become immune to disproof until and unless it is supplanted by a better naturalistic theory. With these rules in place, Darwinists can claim to have proved that natural selection crafted moths, trees, and people, and point to the peppered-moth observation as proof.

The assumption of naturalism is in the realm of speculative philosophy, and the rule against negative argument is arbitrary. It is as if a judge were to tell a defendant that he may not establish his innocence unless he can produce a suitable substitute to be charged with the crime. Such vulnerable rules of discourse need protection from criticism, and two distinct rhetorical strategies have been pursued to provide it. First, we have already seen that the direct conflict between Darwinism and theism has been blurred, so that theists who are not committed to biblical inerrancy are led to believe that they have no reason to be suspicious of Darwinism. The remaining objectors can be marginalized as fundamentalists, whose purportedly scientific objections need not be taken seriously because "everybody knows" that people like that will believe, and say, anything." [Ta be kntinyood in nex poss]

More Orwell---YYYYYYYYYIKES!!!!!

"Microsoft says PC users drowning in info - Breaking - http://www ... " The skeeryess purruhgraff wuz snuck inta that thar harmliss-sowndin ardikkl: Bill Gates describd "button-sized computers of the future that could be worn on a shirt and equipped with cameras and other sensors to record all a person's movements, activities and conversations."

Duzzat give ewe the creeps er WHUT??? Ah thawt B.B. spyin on yew thru yer 'pyootr wuz bad, but this iz 100x more awrfl!!!! Iss evn wurs'n 'at li'l chip't they kn implant unnr yer skin.

Ahz sed it afor, n iss wurth rpeetn: ah shore iz glad ah ain't gonna be arown much longr, cuz it looks ta me lahk thangz iz almoss gonna be more deemonik here than in thur home base in the Nethr Rejnz.

Yew Thank They Got Thur Idee Frum Them Buffloz?

"Planet Ark : Forget Bull in a China Shop, Try Elephant in Diner!" ROTFL!!
"Six elephants escaped from a zoo and roamed around the South Korean capital Wednesday, briefly crashing their way into a restaurant before being rounded up, police and zoo officials said."

Tahrda bein knfahnd, cridderz iz gittin ressluss; they'z hollrin fer sum innertaynmint er travul ov thur own. This iz thur way o gittn it.

Them Distortrz Iz At It Agin!

"ABC News: Kansas Board Taking Up Evolution Debate "

Furss disinfo in the arddikl: "Students in Lisa Volland's advanced biology class examine flowers, lemons and corn under the microscope, pondering how the plants evolved over time to improve their chances of survival." None o the purrnts in Kanziz who'z aginst the teechin o Darwinizm wood ban this partiklr kahnda teechin. This form o "evolooshn" iz the horzonul kahnd, which haz been obsrvd (n provn bah folk lahk Mindl). Not evn the moss adamunt creashnist'd deny this form o "evolooshn."

Na, nodiss hah the jurnlist agin misleedz the reedr here: "Evolution says species change in response to environmental and genetic factors over the course of many generations. Intelligent design — viewed by many [redukshnist] scientists as merely repackaged creationism — holds there is evidence that the universe was designed by some kind of higher power." Didjoo ketch the switch thar? Applz 'n ornjuz! Iss thur favrit trick: the furss sintinss iz talkin bowt nuthin mor'n chanj **WITHIN** spesseez, the abuv-minshnd horzonul "evolooshn"; the second sintinss, on t'uthr han, iz alludn ta the teechn of the Darwinists 'at everthang jis got here by chance n nachrul slekshn. Ass whut's calld "verdikl" evolooshn, n 'at wun'z nevr bin seen, nor kin it be dimnstratid in a lab. Iss nuthn but a theeree, a modl, a paradigm. [Note frum the Perfessr: "The leap from horizontal to vertical is an illegitimate extrapolation." Ah coonta sed it beddr.]

Not only iz this ardikl desseptiv, iss a insult ta the reedr.

Orwellyun Kamruhz Vs. Emboozmmints

"Four More Casino Surveillance Operators Accused Of Ogling"

"The hidden cameras are required by law in New Jersey casinos to deter and prosecute theft, embezzlement, cheating and other crimes...incidents involving two camera operators who trained their in-ceiling cameras on low-cut blouses and revealing clothing."

Ah rekkn them thar opraytrz wuz thankin 'at them wimmin wuz yoozn that arya ta hide cardz er whudevr---leesswayz, 'at's how they'd problee rashnulahz thur akshnz.

Mebbe the slooshn iz ta train camruhz on the camruh opraydrz. Az in kntrolln the kntrollrz...

More Bowt the Powr o Wurdz

"WJLA - What's in a Title for a Corpse Artist? " This feller wurks in the FRG but has his anatomist dugree from Chiner, where they call him perfessr. Wayull, the Krauts----the wurl'z n histree'z arch-byoorerkrats---the Krauts tole him he had ta foller hiz name with "VRC" (VolksRepublikChina), ta indicate he dint git hiz perfessrship frum Jurmunnee. Maddr o fack, they fahnd him $187,142! Kin ewe majn makn sech a ta-doo 'bout 3 teensee li'l leddrz? Ah thank 'at's this week's blue ribbn igzampl ov straynin nats 'n swallrin camulz.

It rmahnz me a lot o mah storee frum t'uthr day bowt the Wolf.

Unlikely Meetn Place

ABC 7 News - Herd of Buffalo Corralled on Tennis Court
Ah jis thank this iz TOOOOO hylaryuss! They usskaypt frum sum farm. Yoo thank they wuz askin fer sum more vrietee in exerssahz? :)

Strange Stuff In His Noggin!

"Doctors remove 50 maggots from man's ears " That pohhhhhr ole man (he'z 84)!!!! Fliez had the BRASS ta lay eggz in hiz eerz!

Na, jis wait, the Injn PETA'll be affter his heynie fer killin off innerssint li'l maggits! Aftr all, 'ccordn ta Reinkarnayshn, it mighta been folks' granpurrnts er sumpin!

N yet thar'z still folk out thar who claymzzat thar ain't no sech thang az a false rlijn...

Whusszat?

Ah wuz reedin the nooz 'n run acrosst this sintinss (refurrn ta Martha Stoowurt): "...awards for her eponymous magazines." WHUT in blaziz iz "eponimuss"? Sumpin rladid ta hippoz? Ah kint evn perNOWNSSzat wurd!

[Later] Awright, ah lookt it up. "Vera" haz bottomluss---no, wait: e-p-o-n-y-m-o-u-s---scarvz; n Chanel haz eponneemuss (ah jis kint git it raht!) purfyoomz; n Dior haz eponneemuss kozmeddix; n Levi haz ep... britchiz; n Liz Claybrn haz ep... togz.

Ahz reel prowd: ah dun larnd me anuthr wun o thim millyun dollr wurdz; ah kin tosszat owt nex tahm summun trahzta insult me: "Shut yer eponneemuss trap!" Or, "If'n ewe don git off mah properdee, ahza gonna blastchoo with mah eponneemuss shootin ahrn!" (They'z gonna thank 'at's sumpin lahk a buzooka, n they'll be flyyyyyin off mah lan!)

Heh, heh, heh! Wurdz haz powr, all right!

This Iz Whah Ah Onlee Tekk Showrz

"ABC 7 News - Va. Woman Gets Stuck in Bathtub for 5 Days" Kin ewe majn that???? The hayulpliss wummin coon't hoist her karkiss up outta thar aftr she'd finisht soakin her pohr, sore tailbown.

What wood SHE'v dun if'n a burglr had broke inta HER howse durin 'at tahm? (Mebbe she'da sed, "Yew kin hav whudevr ewe want, long'z ewe hepp me outta this here tub!" On 2nd thawt, mebbe he'da bin so shockt at the bodee in the bath 'at he'da shot right out the door!)

More Feisty Wimmin Lahk Me'n The BobCat Ladee

"Grandma Stops Intruder With Garden Gnome"

"Great-great-grandmother shoots robber"

Ah haz a idee fer solvin the crahm problim in this here lan: put me 'n them 2 wimmin n Granny BobCat (see mah urlyer poss) in charja the joodishree 'n the powleess. We'd git everthang ship-shape in no tahm. No more o this wimpy coddlin o crimnulz: we'd let'm hav it 'n they'd all be so skeerd, they'd stop thur actin up!

Iss onlee cuz we got a buncha spahnliss Librull malez in powr all ovr 'at the crahm problim haz gottn faddr'n a bloatid tic.

Ah Cood Cry Buckits n Buckits Bowt This!

"21/9/2003 -- Worries rise as wetlands sink on Louisiana coast" and "Lost Louisiana N it's all cuz o man's misdoinz!

A rezzidint who ain't evn 40 sumz up mah own feelinz bowt whur ah livz: "For us, there is no other place. The land is who we are. It's our way of life."

T'Uthr Extreem Frum Them Byoorercrats in Turin

"Zoo Tries To Get Chimp To Kick the Habit"

"A South African zoo wants a chimpanzee to quit smoking cold turkey [pardn the pun, LOL!]. Keepers say Charlie the chimpanzee picked up the habit from visitors at the Bloemfontein Zoo who sometimes toss him cigarettes."

Now, woontchoo thank't them zookeeprz'd ("keepr" meenz pertektr 'n purzurvr, aftr all!) mekk it a crahm fer folk ta do that? Iss a maddr o pervahdn ssigrets ta mahnerz, fer cryin owtlowd!

Ah guess S. Afurca hain't yet bin infectid bah the PETA plague.

More Bout Them Fassinatin Sawsij Skinz--ROTFL!!!

Yew folk out thar knowz frum mah profile 'at ahz a needlwummun. But minnee moonz ago, ah also yoozdta weev. So yoo kin majn how this cawt mah uhtinshn:

"The Indian city of Varanasi is getting through around 600,000 condoms a day, but this is no population control exercise. The weavers of the holy [!!!] city, home to the world-famous Banarasi saris, have made the contraceptives a vital part of garment production. The weaver rubs the condom on the loom's shuttle, which is softened by the lubricant, thus making the process of weaving faster. The lubricant does not leave any stain on the silk thread which might soil the valuable saris.

There are around 150,000 to 200,000 hand and power looms in Varanasi alone and almost all are using the technique. And every loom has a daily consumption of three or four condoms. [Strange foddr fer loomz! Bet them ole Luddites o yore wooda fown this highlee uhmyoozn!]

At first, weavers stocked up on condoms from the family planning department under a government scheme to provide them free of cost. [Sly ole tradrz, ain't they! Kahnda remahnz me o the meddikl cumpaneez here in the U.S. 'at charjiz hospidullz igzorbitunt uhmownts fer thur supplize.] Some weavers even registered with fake identities to get their hands on the precious prophylactics. [Slyer 'n slyer!]

Generation gap

Mahfooz Alam, convener of the Bunkar Bachao Aandolan (or Save the Weavers Movement), says officials got wise to the scam, and corruption set in. Family planning personnel procured condoms from government hospitals and sold them to general stores. These stores then sold them on to the weavers at 10 rupees a dozen.

Mr Alam says the older generation of weaver is averse to the technique but the younger generation wants things done at a faster pace. [LOL!] Some of the weavers fear the industry could be at risk if sari buyers learn their garments are made with condom lubricant. [Hmmnnn, ewe thank that'd involv a estheddik revulshn er a morull wun?]

But Mr. Alam says many weavers have to use the technique.
They would use another lubricant if there were one available that were better, he says. " [Wayull, what'd they yooz buhfor?]

What reelly crackt me up wuz theez 2 li'l tidbits bowt uthr yoosiz o condumz:

Can be placed over the ends of guns to protect them in desert sandstorms

Drugs 'mules' swallow condoms filled with drugs to smuggle them across borders

Mah pappy alweez yoozda say 'at all we yoomunz wuz iz toolmekkrz. Wayull, theez injeenyuss yoosiz o sawsij skinz iz collrfl illustrayshnz o that, ah thank!

Sierra Leone Publikunz Exploytn the Wurd

Kwotin MATT.22:17-21, the revenooerz in Freetown [!!!! Izzat name a ahrnee er whut?] iz puttin a gun ta folks' hayudz 'bout payin taxiz. (Significntlee, they todullee ignorz MATT. 20:25-28, where Jesus kndemz leedrz lordn it ovr folk, n EXALTS leedrz bein survunts!!!)

Obveeusslee, them awthorteez thar in Afurca don hav no kwalmz bout the seprashn o church 'n state.

They Yoozm Fer ***WHUT***??????

" 'Only a quarter of condoms made in India are used for sex, most of the others are used to make saris, toys and bathroom slippers,' a newspaper reported Saturday." LMAO!! ROTFL!!! (Ewe thank maybe 'at explainz thur high burth rate?) Ah uhgree with thim folk: ass about all them ole sawsij skinz iz good fer.

But hol on thar: **SARIZ** oudda kondmz???? Izzat spozdta be a reel sexy kahnda dress, er whut? N kin ewe majin how MINNEE o thim thangz 'att'd tekk? Ahz tryin ta pikshr how they'd git fassind tagithr? If ya sew'm, the perferashn'd cawz'm ta rip. Gloo'm? Ah duhklayr, ahza gonna google ta see if'n ah kn fahn a fodo ov wun!

[Later] Nope, ain't got no fodoz o condom-dressiz, but ah fown this intreegin tidbit: "Condoms are being used in the finishing of the famous Benaras silk saris; providing a smooth finish to tarred roads; as well as in waterproofing ceilings in India." Ah say, 'ass downrite innerprahzin yoosiz, woontchoo uhgree?

So much fer anuthr idiodik byoorercraddik boondoggl (they passiz out billyunz wurth o condomz ta Injn folk evree yeer).

Ah Haz a Twin in Maine!

She'z mah persunnladdee twin, that iz: "ABC 7 News - Grandmother Who Stopped Bobcat Shuns Media" She sed she jis ain't 'at kahnda pursun. Ah todullee uhgree. Who needz all them hype-mongrz innyway? It ain't fer nuthin 'at ah hain't got no TV!

More Byoorercraddik Balderdash

More straynin gnats 'n swallrin camulz: "Woman, 87, Faces Charges for Gun in Court " In the pass yeer, her home'z bin broke into 3 whole tahmz! She haz a gun purmit, but not fer carryin it publiklee. She wuz in a hurree ta git sumwhere, n jis plum fergot ta tekk it outta her purse. Now, cum OWWWWWWWN! They know'd right wayull 'n good 'at she wuz harmliss. They cooda simplee givn her a warnin 'n leff it at that!

All kahnza danjruss 'n vahlint kriminulz get bint ovr backwrdz fer by ahr awfishlz, but a todullee harmliss li'l ole ladee---the Mawz o Injustiss jis fahnd her a goormay morsul!!! Iss dispikkabl!!!

Stasi, Italian-Style, Here We Cum!

Az mah reedrz know, ah purfurz criddrz ta yoomunz inny day, but THIS iz outrajuss!!!!

"Dog owners in Turin will be fined up to $650 if they don't walk their pets at least three times a day, under a new law from the city's council. ...To enforce the law, Turin police would rely largely on the help of tipsters spotting cruel treatment by their neighbors."

Now, ah ask YOU: this pennalahziz li'l ole ladeez lahk me who kint walk thur dog 3x/day. Crooltee ta ole folk!!!! Ass all a ole pursun haz, a lodda tahmz, iz thur li'l criddr. N jis how long izzem walks spozdta be? 3 minits? 30 minits? A whole hour? Suppozin ewe'z got a dowg who don LAHK ta walk 'at much? In 'at case, iss crooltee ta him ta force him ta exerciszat much!

Agin, all this jis showz the vile inflooince wurl-wide of the lahks of PETA. Ah'm FED UP TA THE GILLZ with meddlin byoorercrats! Thur'z jis GOTTA be sumpin we kin do ta stop'm, wunce 'n fer all!!!!!

Bosh Ta All Them Silly Stuttistix!!!!!

"Ad blitz dismisses obesity threat as 'hype' - Food, Inc. - MSNBC.com" Latist innerestin info 'at supports mah long-standin vyoo 'at stuttistix iz nuthin but bullistix? "...new statistics from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), a unit of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), that contradict previous findings from the CDC that obesity was catching up to heart disease as a major cause of death in the United States."

Which iz whah ah keep eatin mah sevrull aygz/week---'n look't me, wha donchoo? Ahz 104!

Some Folk Know How To Make the Best of the Bleakist

"Headlines: Death business booms in Baghdad" A feller who makes coffinz yoozd ta only get wun ordr a day whin Saddamn Insane raynd. Now, this guy gets tons of orderz every week. But he don fahnd it depressin, craftin all them thar deth boxiz; he seez hizself az the middle-eastrn cownerpart ta Ford: he vyoozzem coffinz az "vehicles that transfer people to God."

A "Good Mobile"?

Cheshire Cat, Modern Style

"Amish Build Mental Health Home" (Iss gonna be locadid on the grownz ov a privut psykeeatrik cinnr.) This struck me az incongroouss, bec. moss cownslin nowadayz presuppoziz a unbiblical theeolujee/kosmolujee----albeit wun 'at ain't explicit (o cors, them experts'd kick 'n froth at the mowth in their deniul of the fact; they'd protess vigrusslee at they'z "nootrul" and "objektiv" n all the ress ov the smoke screen adjiktivz they lahk ta bandy about). A liaison officer hassind ta provahd a bromahd ta assuage inny feerz: "Counselors will assure patients that their treatment will not require them to abandon their faith."

But mah deer Suh, thar'z mor'n wun way ta skin a cat! Shore, them cownslerz won hardlee bash the Amish pashunt ovr the hayud lahk sum Gestapo or KGB brute, "Recant or we'll lock you into the Stehbunker!!!" No, the modrn wayz iz much more sfistikatid, more suttl-----more slithry. Like Zyklon B: looks lahk knsernd chattin boutcher difficulteez, but in realiddee iz mahnd-bendin n behavyer mod. A slow uhsfixeeyashn ov yer cherisht bleefs. (If ewe don bleev ass possibl, go to a Erhardt siminar sumtahm. They don evn bothr doin it slow 'n slithry. They duz the "hi-octaine" verzhn.)

It remahnz me ov whud ah rayud wunce 'bout the Shoah (this wuz dekadez back, so ah don rmimbr zacklee which ixtrminashn site this prtiklr methud took place at----ah thank it wuz fer the ole folk who coon't walk no more): they'd sind a vehikkl 'at lookd jis lahk a ambyoolins, paynid with a red cross n everythang, cumpleet with nursiz who'd gently uhkumpanee the pursn n help'm along into the car. The pohr unsuspektin victim thawt they wuz heddid fer real treatmint, whereaz in fak, they wuz heddid fer the uvvnz.

A Lepprd Kint Chanj His Spots

Mr. Wolf wuz prplixt: he kepp gittin ixkloodid frum cridder pardiez, n whinevr he'd cross paths with inny varmints along the road, they'd shriek 'n hurtle away in the oppuzzit drekshn.

"I must find a way to change my image," he myoozd. Fahnlee, he figyoord owt a slooshn. He wint to a thriff shop 'n got hizself the perfek dizguize. (Nevr mahnd that it only cuvrd hiz hayud n nick; he rekkund the skeery part o him wuz outta sight.) "Now they'll be comfortable with me, bec. nobody's afraid of a harmless little sheep!" He skippt like a calf az he leff the ole thriff shop.

Just down the road, he saw skwirrl hoppin along. "A cheery good day to you, Squirrel!" Skwirrl took one look at him, screecht n thin dasht up a tree.

A fyoo minits lader, Wolf nodisst beevr, who wuz bizzee bildin a dam. "Excellent work, Beaver!" Wolf called out with a big smile (corse, 'at wuz hiddin unner his disguize). Beevr lookt up, got eyez wide'z sawcerz 'n dove inta the river.

"Hmmnnn," Wolf thought, "why are they still afraid of me?" To get the ansurr, he paid a vizzit ta hiz ole buddy BobCat.

"Bob, my boy, I'm totally flummoxed and devastated, bec. they all still fear me as The Big Bad Wolf. I thought for sure that this superlative outfit would transform me into The Best Beloved Animal!" A tear fell on his nose.

Bob sighed. "Wolf, do you really think that bit of fleece changes your person? 'It walks like a wolf, it talks like a wolf, it has the belly and legs of a wolf-----EEEGADS! It's WOLLLLLLLF!' Don't you see? Window dressing doesn't improve the quality of the product displayed."

Wolf hung his head. "Yes, I guess you're right. Trappings don't change essence."

A FootNote Ta That "Research Paper"

In the lass post, Skoolmarm talkt bowt that wummun's "study" bowt girlz n fairee talez. Wayull, that ladee sed sumpin else, later in the ardikl: "She believed younger generations exposed to television and other entertainment media may react differently and be less submissive than those weaned solely on literature." Izzat evr the truth! Az in, they git traind ta thank 'at vahlince and immoralidee (which o corse ain't nevr calld that) n lyin n cheatin iz all ljitimutt wayz o deelin with lahf n uthr folk. (Bud o cors, them thangz don maddr ta the P.C. folk, cuz the onlee thang 'at cownts in thur book iz makin shore there ain't no "jindr stereotypin." Ass the kardnl sin, doncha know.)

My favurt iggzampl ov how TV poyznz a culthr iz whud happind on sum li'l eyelun in the Jerzee Eyelunz. Buhfore this purtiklr li'l eyelun got TV in '93, they had no crime 'n no divorce. Bowt a year or 2 after TV invadid thur kmmyoonidee, they had plenny o both.

Aint' modern gadjits wunnrful? Ah mean, they kin tranzform a whole group a folk in jis a yeer er 2!

Bed of Procrustes, Here We Come!

"Fairy Tales Linked to Violent Relationships"(Fairy tales may end in horror) LMAO! ROTFL! The title of the research paper presenting this thesis was "The Tales We Tell Our Children: Overconditioning of Girls to Expect Partners to Change." Supposedly, "Girls who have listened to such stories as children tend to become more submissive in their future relationships."

First off, this reminds me of the Marxist prohibition in East Germany against allowing children to own or play with castles and toy knights, kings, queens and horses. Ranted the Gleichschalters, "This kind of play encourages the wrong stereotypes and hence the wrong philosophy. It undermines the triumph of the dictatorship of the proletariat!!!!"

Let's face it, fairy tales or no, there's plenty of innate inclination on the part of many women to imagine they can "improve" a man. It's part of the general human tendency to live in a dream-world, to try to impose fantasy on reality (indeed, the above-mentioned political ideology itself is a malignant, industrial-strength manifestation of that tendency).

And there're no doubt plenty of women who as children read fairy tales, but growing up, put them away as make-believe. (Exercising their common sense faculties,in their dealings with men they soon recognized that the male is incurably entrenched in his ways.)

Conversely, if you put your efforts into it, I'm sure you could round up 1000's of women who never read or heard fairy tales as children yet later still became "too submissive" in their rapport with the men they love.

Sigh, it would be so refreshing if "researchers" would cease using their "studies" as a platform for their pet political theories. (SK)

Hankrin Aftr Primordyul Freedum

Ah wunce hurd summun claim 'at the bess form o sossietee'd be anarkizm. Now, holdjer horsiz! That ain't zacklee the same thang az anarky (tho in a minnit, ah'll tell ewe why ah thank anarchy iz inevidubbl with anarkism). Here'z how wun pursun ixplaynd it: "Anarchism is a political theory which aims to create a society within which individuals freely co-operate together as equals. As such anarchism opposes all forms of hierarchical control -----be that control by the state or a capitalist-----as harmful as well as unnecessary to the individual and to individuality per se."

With mah Liburturyun simputheez, on the surfuss 'at sownz mahdee fahn ta me: nuthin beats freedum! (Jis majn: no more Revenooerz ta hurrass me bout mah still!). But on closr inspekshn, anarkizm jis seemz lahk anuthr vuryeeunt o yootopya.

Ah see 3 main problimz with yootopya: (1) the clash of wurl-vyooz----in uthr wurdz: hah do ewe git evrbuddy ta hav the same ovrall purspektiv n knvikshnz? (Jis wun small case in point, close ta home: thar'z rlijiss folk in theze parts who thanx 'at drinkin inny kahn a spirits iz "sinful" n'll landjoo in Hell. They'd nevr tolrate mah still or mah okayzhnl sips.) (2) The need fer sum sorta leedrship, 'at seemz ta be bilt inta the vury nachur a thangz: fer iggzampl, evn amung the critterz, or in gangz, thar'z a peckin ordr. Er, tekk a orchistra: ha'd they all coordnate w/o the knduktr? (3) The pesky "invizbl predatr" (sum folk call it "selfishness," otherz call it "pride"---thar'z differnt namez fer it, but they're all meanin ta discrahb the bint in yoomunzzat kntribyoots ta all formz o strife: quarrelz, fyoodz at the office, divorce, fightin, warz----ewe name it) that infex yoomun sossietee at all levlz n at all tahmz, regardliss ov whudevr rlijn or plitikl strukshr iz in place.

Add them 3 thangz tagethr n you ind up with anarky. So, it seemz ta me 'at the anarkist iz jis anuthr pursun longin fer Paradise Loss.