"Loadid," some hussy decidid that in gift-givin, less wuz more (mebbe she wuz tryin ta help the feller lose wayt---yew know, a home-growed vurzhn o lipposukshn). The "prezzint" din't cost her a pinny, but ah reckun the feller she dun bestowd it on ain't too pleezed he kin't return it fer sumpin beddr.
Evidintly, histurkly, this ain't so uncommon, but the pinnulty theze dayz don likely look uttall the same. (Az n aside, it uhppeerzzat alreddy in them thar dayz, yew had a kinda "WAC"---albeit with summutt unorthydox methudz.)
Morull o the story: yer safist bet fer prezzints iz a giff card.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Confirmed Once Again
...According to [the Sans'] creation myth, mankind descended from the python... [You reckun 'ass a beddr peddygree than them thar munkeez?]
In thur own way, them Sans is dimonstratin sumpin stated in a book from a nearby Middle Eastern ethnic group:
We know that the whole world is under the control of the evil one... (1 John 5:19-20)
You used to live just like the rest of the world, full of sin, obeying Satan, the mighty prince of the power of the air. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. (Eph. 2:2)
The god of this world hath blinded the minds of those who don't believe, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them... (2 Corinthians 4:4)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Frum The Horse's Pat----Er, Mouth
Ah wunce briefly pertissipatid @ a forum that functioned as a Leftist cyberchurch, their meetin place fer fellowship, reinforcin each utherz' doktrinz, and mullinin the infidelz (thoze ov us who warn't Left). Their favrit kunnard wazzat Darwinizm din't in no way hav nuthn ta do with the "death" o God (cumpletely contradictin folk such as Provine, who haz the innerlekshooal integriddy ta call a spade a spade). Iss too bad they ain't well rayud enuff ta know Steven Gould's own argyoomint in that direkshn:
"The radicalism of natural selection lies in its power to dethrone some of the deepest and most traditional comforts of Western thought, particularly the notion that nature's benevolence, order, and good design, with humans at a sensible summit of power and excellence, proves [sic] the existence of an omnipotent and benevolent creator who loves us most of all (the old-style theological version), or at least that nature has meaningful directions, and that humans fit into a sensible and predictable pattern regulating the totality (the modern and more secular version)."
"Traditional comforts"? Izzit a cumfurt ta yew, Mr. G, ta thank that (see my prevyuss post) yew'z gonna be accownid az nuthn but a phantom by the One who gived ewe the vurry brainz ta write that purragraff? Izzit a cumfurt ta know yew'll spind eterniddy in a never-indin lava-hot Primordial Soup Pit?
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Scientistic Opyum Ixchange
Tidbits frum the La Jolla Salk Institute Nov. 5-7 convention, “Beyond Belief: Science, Religion, Reason and Survival:"
"...who doesn’t have God on the brain..." (Dr. Tyson) Course not: it'd be much beddr ta hav Darwin on the brain...
"I am utterly fed up with the respect that we — all of us, including the secular among us — are brainwashed into bestowing on religion.” (Dawkins) Yew refurrin ta all them TV showz & books and ardikklz---bullyunz n bullyunz ovm---bowt bugz n beasts n plants n planits, ever last wun ovm sachratid with Darwiniun refrinciz? Ewe mean all them thar "Ascint o Man" posterzzat plastered publick "school" classroomz fer decadez?
“...the world needs to wake up from its long nightmare of religious belief...” (Steven Weinberg) 'Ass ironik, cuz it todully contradix whut God sez in His WORD about His rejectorz: "Like a dream when one awakes, O Lord, when Thou dost rouse Thyself, Thou shalt despise them as phantoms" (PSALM 73:20).
“I think we need to respect people’s philosophical notions unless those notions are wrong.” (Lawrence M. Krauss) So long, Furss Amindmint. We knowd fer a long tahm that yew wuz a fossil dokumint. We churrish yer sakrid mimry.
"...who doesn’t have God on the brain..." (Dr. Tyson) Course not: it'd be much beddr ta hav Darwin on the brain...
"I am utterly fed up with the respect that we — all of us, including the secular among us — are brainwashed into bestowing on religion.” (Dawkins) Yew refurrin ta all them TV showz & books and ardikklz---bullyunz n bullyunz ovm---bowt bugz n beasts n plants n planits, ever last wun ovm sachratid with Darwiniun refrinciz? Ewe mean all them thar "Ascint o Man" posterzzat plastered publick "school" classroomz fer decadez?
“...the world needs to wake up from its long nightmare of religious belief...” (Steven Weinberg) 'Ass ironik, cuz it todully contradix whut God sez in His WORD about His rejectorz: "Like a dream when one awakes, O Lord, when Thou dost rouse Thyself, Thou shalt despise them as phantoms" (PSALM 73:20).
“I think we need to respect people’s philosophical notions unless those notions are wrong.” (Lawrence M. Krauss) So long, Furss Amindmint. We knowd fer a long tahm that yew wuz a fossil dokumint. We churrish yer sakrid mimry.
Say It Uhgin, Ann!
Mah fevvert cawlumniss haz penned anuthr bullzeye (wish ah had fown this munss back whin ah wuz doin mah cartoon marython):
The "offense to Islam" ruse is merely an excuse for Muslims to revert to their default mode: rioting and setting things on fire. These people have a serious anger management problem.
The "offense to Islam" ruse is merely an excuse for Muslims to revert to their default mode: rioting and setting things on fire. These people have a serious anger management problem.
Psalm 1 from the PC Bible
1 Blessed is the man that walketh in the counsel of the ungodly, and standeth in the way of sinners, and sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2 His delight is in the law of Darwin; and in his laws doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the primordial slime, that bringeth forth his rottenness in his season; his leaf also shall wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall not prosper. [Other manuscripts add: Behold, is it not so? See how the modern world hath become a sludge pit!]
4 The godly are not so: but are like Mount Zion, which cannot be swayed, but abides forever. 5 Therefore the godly shall not stand in the kangaroo courts like the Scopes Trial, nor the upright in the congregation of the Sodomites. 6 For Darwin knoweth the way of the unrighteous: but the way of the godly shall become exinct.
4 The godly are not so: but are like Mount Zion, which cannot be swayed, but abides forever. 5 Therefore the godly shall not stand in the kangaroo courts like the Scopes Trial, nor the upright in the congregation of the Sodomites. 6 For Darwin knoweth the way of the unrighteous: but the way of the godly shall become exinct.
The New 10 Commandments
1. Thou shalt have no other God besides Darwin (exemptions apply only to feminists who prefer Gaia).
2. Thou shalt not build any houses for worshipping Yahweh.
3. Thou shalt not blaspheme by uttering the term "Intelligent Design."
4. Remember the 12th of February, to keep it holy.
5. Honor the egg and the sperm that were responsible for thine existence.
6. Thou shalt not kill anything non-homosapiens.
7. Thou shalt not commit monogamy, especially not of the heterosexual kind.
8. Thou shalt not hinder the almighty gov't. from stealing from thee under the guise of taxation.
9. Thou shalt not commit hate-speech.
10. Thou shalt diligently engage in consumerism & creditcard overload.
2. Thou shalt not build any houses for worshipping Yahweh.
3. Thou shalt not blaspheme by uttering the term "Intelligent Design."
4. Remember the 12th of February, to keep it holy.
5. Honor the egg and the sperm that were responsible for thine existence.
6. Thou shalt not kill anything non-homosapiens.
7. Thou shalt not commit monogamy, especially not of the heterosexual kind.
8. Thou shalt not hinder the almighty gov't. from stealing from thee under the guise of taxation.
9. Thou shalt not commit hate-speech.
10. Thou shalt diligently engage in consumerism & creditcard overload.
Letter 2 Santa
21st Century Insecurities
2100 Racketeering Avenue
Bleedudry, NY 21000
Durwood Sneery, H8NU
Vice President Administrative Services
Phone: 1-800-BLEEDNU
11/25/06
Venerable Jolly Old St. Nicolas
Santa’s Workshop
North Pole
Dear Sir,
In view of our company’s recent policy changes of not insuring either obese individuals or those engaged in litigation or guilty of bigotry, we regret to inform you that your insurance coverage has been cancelled.
In the event that these three conditions should undergo any change, please do not hesitate to contact us about reinstating your coverage.
Cordially,
Durwood Sneery
Thur'z Gonna Be Lossa Teary Tots
Breaking News:
PETA Targets North Pole
Polar Ice Caps: A spokeself for Santa's Workshop has just announced that until ongoing litigation against Santa ends, Christmas will suffer an indefinite postponement. PETA is suing Old Nick for animal abuse: "It is the most egregious mistreatment of reindeer not only forcing them to fly, but in the process, to haul colossal tonnage in a sleigh," said S. Owerpuss, PETA's Harnessed Slave Animals Specialist.
In a related development, PETA and People 4 The Secularist Way are also planning a joint campaign, "Humbug 2100," to make the celebration or mention of Christmas a federal offense. An auxiliary objective would entail hanging portraits of Scrooge in every schoolroom, library, municipal and federal building.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Whodda Thunk?
Next time summun tries ta convince ewe it wuz the Demzzat birthed the movemint ta git wimmin out inta the workforce, tell 'at pursun ta thank agin:
When equity feminists formed the National Woman’s Party in 1917, they, too, pushed for equal work and equal pay for women outside the home. (There is evidence to suggest that the National Association of Manufacturers secretly funded the party.) When this party drafted its proposed Equal Rights Amendment in 1923, it came as no surprise that the National Association of Manufacturers immediately endorsed it and that Republicans served as its chief sponsors in both the US House and Senate. The Republican party also was the first to endorse the ERA in its Platform.
The common goals of the equity feminists and big business—hostility to the “family wage”; the inclusion of all women, especially young mothers, in the labor market; the commodification of all human activity—made this a strong political alliance. Once the Birth Control League of America cleverly changed its name to Planned Parenthood, it, too, found a compatible home in the GOP; indeed, by the 1950s, Planned Parenthood was a favored charity [!!!] among Republican women’s clubs...
Between 1913 and 1933, moreover, the Democratic party became the favored home of the Social Feminists, or the Maternalists as some now call them: women including Julia Lathrop, Florence Kelley, Frances Perkins, Grace Abbott, Mary Anderson, Frances Kellor, and Molly Dewson. These women believed in equality of rights but difference in function. The first duty of all women, they held, was the defense of home and infant life. And they believed that a career outside the home was incompatible with good mothering.
Sumpin lahk this socks ewe in the solar plexus, same way it does when you thank abowt Ike havin nominadid Burger. Ah guess in a way, Marx wuz right: histree iz a Leftist.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Why Ah Thank Flosofferz Iz Idjuts
Ah jis hurd the Perfessr referrin ta "phenomenalizm" in a conversashn he wuz havn on the fone. Ah dun gone n lookt it up (tho it took me a while: how do yew SPAYULL it??? Fnomnullizm?)
Phenomenalism is the view that physical objects, properties, events (whatever is physical) are reducible to mental objects, properties, events. Ultimately, only mental objects, properties, events, exist — hence the closely related term subjective idealism. [Ah don git it: in the net affeck, how duzzis differ frum "solipsizm"?]
Zzat so? Wayull, then pleez ixplayn ta me how, fer iggzampl, a whole crowd, thowzundz a folk in a stadyum, how kin they all be seein the same footbawl game at the same tahm? N furthr, do them thar fnomnolojists jis ignore sumpin lahk cancer er gangrene on thur own karkussiz?
OK, ah jis realized sumpin: Mary Baker Eddy n ilk wuz fnomnolojists. Fnomnullizm'z a relijion, donchoo know! (In case ewe din't noddice: mah spellin bringz owt the real nachur ov its bleefs...) Echoz o Berkeley.
Hold ON!!!!! Ah'z jis havin one "aha momint" after unuthr: Berkeley? Of course! Hiz crazy mentul methane explainz all the nonsense thass been goin on since the 60's in the city named after him! Finally, proof pozitiv o whut ah'z bin sayin all uhlong bowt them Socio-Plitikl Termites: their sekyoolurizm iz nuthn more than a (stealth) rlijn.
As one feller put it: "Philosophy has always seemed to me as something to occupy Freshmen until they grew up enough to see the real world looking over their shoulders, and a kind of mental masturbation [LMTO!!!], along the lines of "Hey, dude, what if *insert any idea occurring to a drunk or stoned mind*?"
[Later] The Perfessr jiss informd me that them thar smarddy pants folk in the West who thanx they wuz so brillyunt in kummin up with this idee of "fnomnullizm"? They wuz jis a bunch a plajurrists, cuz iss nuthn more'n the anshunt Hindu bleef in "Maya." Majin flossufferz sneekin in lies lahk that!
But wuncet agin, ah fahnd the WORD mah shore guide: it tellz me thar's nuthin new unner the sun (ECCL. 1:9) and that Ole Archfiend maskeradez az a anjul o light (2 COR. 11:14).
Phenomenalism is the view that physical objects, properties, events (whatever is physical) are reducible to mental objects, properties, events. Ultimately, only mental objects, properties, events, exist — hence the closely related term subjective idealism. [Ah don git it: in the net affeck, how duzzis differ frum "solipsizm"?]
Zzat so? Wayull, then pleez ixplayn ta me how, fer iggzampl, a whole crowd, thowzundz a folk in a stadyum, how kin they all be seein the same footbawl game at the same tahm? N furthr, do them thar fnomnolojists jis ignore sumpin lahk cancer er gangrene on thur own karkussiz?
OK, ah jis realized sumpin: Mary Baker Eddy n ilk wuz fnomnolojists. Fnomnullizm'z a relijion, donchoo know! (In case ewe din't noddice: mah spellin bringz owt the real nachur ov its bleefs...) Echoz o Berkeley.
Hold ON!!!!! Ah'z jis havin one "aha momint" after unuthr: Berkeley? Of course! Hiz crazy mentul methane explainz all the nonsense thass been goin on since the 60's in the city named after him! Finally, proof pozitiv o whut ah'z bin sayin all uhlong bowt them Socio-Plitikl Termites: their sekyoolurizm iz nuthn more than a (stealth) rlijn.
As one feller put it: "Philosophy has always seemed to me as something to occupy Freshmen until they grew up enough to see the real world looking over their shoulders, and a kind of mental masturbation [LMTO!!!], along the lines of "Hey, dude, what if *insert any idea occurring to a drunk or stoned mind*?"
[Later] The Perfessr jiss informd me that them thar smarddy pants folk in the West who thanx they wuz so brillyunt in kummin up with this idee of "fnomnullizm"? They wuz jis a bunch a plajurrists, cuz iss nuthn more'n the anshunt Hindu bleef in "Maya." Majin flossufferz sneekin in lies lahk that!
But wuncet agin, ah fahnd the WORD mah shore guide: it tellz me thar's nuthin new unner the sun (ECCL. 1:9) and that Ole Archfiend maskeradez az a anjul o light (2 COR. 11:14).
Superstishuss Siamese
BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) - Thailand's new military-appointed government has threatened to shut down an operatic version of the Hindu epic Ramayana, ostensibly over fears one of its scenes may bring bad luck. (imphaseez mahn)
Ah reckunnat thar guvmint muss be feelin purdy insekyoor ta be reactin 'at way. (Whut, they'z still fetterd bah fearz o "bad luck"?!?! ROTFL! Mebbe, then, they awwta replace thur jinrullz with wizardz!)
But then, in the histry o the wurl, haz yew evr knowd the militurry ta be strong on imajinashn er yoomer er flexibility?
Iss lahk askin a pachyderm ta do ballay.
Ah reckunnat thar guvmint muss be feelin purdy insekyoor ta be reactin 'at way. (Whut, they'z still fetterd bah fearz o "bad luck"?!?! ROTFL! Mebbe, then, they awwta replace thur jinrullz with wizardz!)
But then, in the histry o the wurl, haz yew evr knowd the militurry ta be strong on imajinashn er yoomer er flexibility?
Iss lahk askin a pachyderm ta do ballay.
ROMANS 1:19-20, Here We Kum!
ABC Pulls Ad Campaign For Assemblies of God
Ne'r mahnd fer a momint that ah ain't fond o AOG theawlujjy er practiciz: this iz anuthr wunna thim iggzamplz ov the Socio-Plitikl Termites' jihad aginst God. They's jiss TURRIFIED o Him! (Mahndjoo: they'z got a ban on thangz lahk racizm, pornawgruffy, and sech, too; so in effeck whut they'z sayin izzat minchnin God iz in the same cattygory az sexshwull filth.) Hevvn ferBID that thar shood be even the slightist acknawlidjmint that thar'z a Creador "out thar" n that He cood hav innythang utTALL ta do with yer life.
Course, what them dimwits at ABC n thur kawleegz don unnerstan izzat the Whole Creation iz a blazin neon ad fer God's iggzistunce AND Hiz Creatorship. Not ta minshn the clammerin o man'z made-in-God'z-imuj heart.
Iss innerestin: in the newz, we offin see them pitiabl imujiz o Bangladeshi starvashn n sech, but ah gurrintee yew, iff'n yew could git a "MRI" o "modurn" man'z soul, all ewe'd see iz a putheddik wisp ov a toothpick figgur.
Ne'r mahnd fer a momint that ah ain't fond o AOG theawlujjy er practiciz: this iz anuthr wunna thim iggzamplz ov the Socio-Plitikl Termites' jihad aginst God. They's jiss TURRIFIED o Him! (Mahndjoo: they'z got a ban on thangz lahk racizm, pornawgruffy, and sech, too; so in effeck whut they'z sayin izzat minchnin God iz in the same cattygory az sexshwull filth.) Hevvn ferBID that thar shood be even the slightist acknawlidjmint that thar'z a Creador "out thar" n that He cood hav innythang utTALL ta do with yer life.
Course, what them dimwits at ABC n thur kawleegz don unnerstan izzat the Whole Creation iz a blazin neon ad fer God's iggzistunce AND Hiz Creatorship. Not ta minshn the clammerin o man'z made-in-God'z-imuj heart.
Iss innerestin: in the newz, we offin see them pitiabl imujiz o Bangladeshi starvashn n sech, but ah gurrintee yew, iff'n yew could git a "MRI" o "modurn" man'z soul, all ewe'd see iz a putheddik wisp ov a toothpick figgur.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Frum Reformd Bastion 2 Muzlim Haven
Dutch move to ban burka in public
Now, mahndjoo, az yew know frum urlyer posts o mahn, ah ain't no fan o Izlahm. N ah hain't got no yoos fer wimmin who thanx't bah playin Caspar the ghost all year rown, they'z gittin sum sorda brownee points with Allah.
Bud it seemz ta me that this ban jis might kwallify az taday's furss place in straynin gnats n swallrin camelz. Bucuz burka'z ain't nuthn compared to yoothinazher.
The rashnal fer this trajikommikul ban? "From a security standpoint, people should always be recognizable and from the standpoint of integration, we think people should be able to communicate with one another." But less not innergrayt the wunz we wanna kill off, nuh uh, not ta minshn that the surist way ta ind summun kummyoonikatn iz by killn 'm off (the Naziz proved that real thurrlee).
Innerestinly enuff, the same ban appliez ta ski-masks 'n full-faced helmits. Yew reckun if them thar Dutch sellybratid Hallerween, the ban'd ixtind ta costume masks? N ah guess yew kin't hav no masked ball, then, in that land, neither.
Sownz lahk innymore, the Dutch cood kwalify fer mah "Sourpuss o the Year" uhward.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Encore, Feller, Encore!
"What have we become, the civilisation of melted butter?" (Roberto Calderoni, Italy's Northern League Party)
Friday, November 10, 2006
Haggard On Clinton
"Bill Clinton's White House was the most responsive in recent history," he said. "He really wanted to please evangelical Christians. He's a Bible-believing Christian himself; his problem was, he was a sex addict." (Article)
?!?!?!?!?!
?!?!?!?!?!
A Thundruss **AMMMMMMMMEN**!!!
Doug had more ta say in that thar comminturry of hizn that ah jis kwodid frum in mah prevyuss poss:
The thing we all need to do is stop putting up with the "acceptable" parts of these scandals. Okay, we don't put up with gay escorts and drug dealers. But when are we going to stop putting up with mealy-mouthed obscurings of scriptural teaching on sexual matters, and when are we going to stop putting up with the smoke, vanity and conceit of the evangelical marketing machine? (All imfaseez mahn)
The thing we all need to do is stop putting up with the "acceptable" parts of these scandals. Okay, we don't put up with gay escorts and drug dealers. But when are we going to stop putting up with mealy-mouthed obscurings of scriptural teaching on sexual matters, and when are we going to stop putting up with the smoke, vanity and conceit of the evangelical marketing machine? (All imfaseez mahn)
He's Dun It Agin!
Mah favert satrist, Doug Wilson, jiss done gone n shot another bullz-eye:
"Contemporary evangelicalism is nothing more than institutionalized narcissicism."
'Zackly: 'ass why ah avoidzzem kinda churchiz like a deer bolts frum a rattler.
"Contemporary evangelicalism is nothing more than institutionalized narcissicism."
'Zackly: 'ass why ah avoidzzem kinda churchiz like a deer bolts frum a rattler.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Updatid "Trojun" Horse
Woontchoo know't Quedaites'd be lookin fer comftrbl loopholez. Real smart cunnin. Uhnuthr modern day iggzampl of Lenin's statement bowt the boorjwazee pervahdin the innimy with the rope to hang itself.
Course, here on the home front, we don need ta recroot no fern nashnulz: we got a bran-new naddiv crop o Muzlim pollytishnz rightchere in owr own backyard.
Watch the pincerz ever so slowly cloze on the erstwhile Land o the Free...
Course, here on the home front, we don need ta recroot no fern nashnulz: we got a bran-new naddiv crop o Muzlim pollytishnz rightchere in owr own backyard.
Watch the pincerz ever so slowly cloze on the erstwhile Land o the Free...
Them Incendiary "MC" Wurdz
Wal-Mart will say, "Merry Christmas"
Ah dunno if ah shood be ROTFL er rendin mah clothez: on the wun hand, iss a teensy bit o progress when we git PC ta retreat, even if in ever so minor a way. (Cuz donchoo kidjerseff, the ban against sayin "Murry Chrissmuss" iz part ov a long-standin, much bigger project of exilin Christ and God from the Public Square [zzif there'z inny "definse" powerful enuff ta exclood the Omnipreznt Creator n Sustainer from Hiz Creation].) But the problim iz the moddivashn: Walmart's salez wint down the pass few yearz when they limitid thmselvz ta simply yoozin the jinurrik "holiday" theme. So, ta hike up thur profits, they'z returnin ta yoozin the MC approach.
Ah reckun this don jiss refleck on Wal-Mart's crass merssnurry spirit, but it also tellz us buckits bowt Amurrikun society in jinrull.
But thin, He did say't the tarez 'n the wheat'd be growin side by side till the end...
Ah dunno if ah shood be ROTFL er rendin mah clothez: on the wun hand, iss a teensy bit o progress when we git PC ta retreat, even if in ever so minor a way. (Cuz donchoo kidjerseff, the ban against sayin "Murry Chrissmuss" iz part ov a long-standin, much bigger project of exilin Christ and God from the Public Square [zzif there'z inny "definse" powerful enuff ta exclood the Omnipreznt Creator n Sustainer from Hiz Creation].) But the problim iz the moddivashn: Walmart's salez wint down the pass few yearz when they limitid thmselvz ta simply yoozin the jinurrik "holiday" theme. So, ta hike up thur profits, they'z returnin ta yoozin the MC approach.
Ah reckun this don jiss refleck on Wal-Mart's crass merssnurry spirit, but it also tellz us buckits bowt Amurrikun society in jinrull.
But thin, He did say't the tarez 'n the wheat'd be growin side by side till the end...
Monday, November 06, 2006
Vuryashnz On a Theme
Seein'z ah hain't nevr bin too fur frum mah plot o land, ah guess theze here test rezults iz mint more metter4ikly than litrully:
Ah reckun mah blawg here'd be mah li'l "boat" er "cuvvrd waggun."
Ah reckun mah blawg here'd be mah li'l "boat" er "cuvvrd waggun."
'Ass More Lahk It!
Az yew knowz iffn yew'z read mah blog frum the start, ah only finisht furss grade, so ah'z got this hankrin fer testin (tho the Perfessr n Skoolmarm both thanx tests iz turrible). This here test wuz right on the mark (wayull, maybe not so much in the "concerned fer thur feelinz" dep't...):
Shood Ah Laff er Cry?
Thankin thar must be sum mistekk after the furss tahm, ah dun took this here test TWO tahmz, but nope, nuthn changed the 2nd tahm: evidently ah'z undeniably
(Me, 'maciatid??? Iss troo, ah'z an ole bagga bones, but thar'z plenny o paddin on'm...)
Course, pyoorly frum a kronerlawjikl stanpoint, mebbe yewda thunk this'd be more pplikubl:
But whut ah wuz sekritly hopin fer wuz
(Ah know, ah ain't "detacht" wun whit...)
Though ah rekkun awl mah innimeez out thar wooda peggd me az
(Me, 'maciatid??? Iss troo, ah'z an ole bagga bones, but thar'z plenny o paddin on'm...)Course, pyoorly frum a kronerlawjikl stanpoint, mebbe yewda thunk this'd be more pplikubl:
But whut ah wuz sekritly hopin fer wuz
(Ah know, ah ain't "detacht" wun whit...)Though ah rekkun awl mah innimeez out thar wooda peggd me az
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Disguised Kntimpt
Kwotes like this'un by Michael Medved alweez bring ta mahnd a uhkwaintunce who wuz ferevr bellyachin bowt the evilz o the middle class, all the while battening hizself on all the bennifits of said class.
If the Dems insist that ordinary citizens can’t succeed without government help, and the GOP emphasizes that hard work and decency still bring the American dream if bureaucrats and do-gooders stay out of the way, which side demonstrates the greater respect for the ability and potential of American strivers?
Despite their pose as “the party of the little guy,” the dominant Democrats are patronizing elitists who were born to privilege – people like Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi and, yes, John Kerry. As a matter of fact, the very phrase “little guy” or “little people” is obviously condescending.
If the Dems insist that ordinary citizens can’t succeed without government help, and the GOP emphasizes that hard work and decency still bring the American dream if bureaucrats and do-gooders stay out of the way, which side demonstrates the greater respect for the ability and potential of American strivers?
Despite their pose as “the party of the little guy,” the dominant Democrats are patronizing elitists who were born to privilege – people like Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi and, yes, John Kerry. As a matter of fact, the very phrase “little guy” or “little people” is obviously condescending.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Tellin It Like It Iz
Former Ass Party member Bernard Chapin echoes sum thangz ah'z touched on in this here blawg:
Just to participate in the ranks of the donkeyites, you have to automatically embrace multiculturalism and diversity as your secondary religions. Many liberals have made the pursuit of diversity a replacement for religion as religion mandates judging yourself and others. To them judgment is as outdated a concept as property owners alone voting.
Just to participate in the ranks of the donkeyites, you have to automatically embrace multiculturalism and diversity as your secondary religions. Many liberals have made the pursuit of diversity a replacement for religion as religion mandates judging yourself and others. To them judgment is as outdated a concept as property owners alone voting.
Ghetto Jeremiah
Give this feller the Nobel Prize in Sociology! Ethnikly n innerlekshooly, he'z Tom Sowell'z twin:
[T]here is something truly unsettling and tragic about the fact that blacks have become the main agents in disseminating debilitating—dare I say racist—images of themselves. Rap guru Russell Simmons claims that “the coolest stuff about American culture—be it language, dress, or attitude—comes from the underclass. Always has and always will.” Yet back in the bad old days, blacks often complained—with some justification—that the media too often depicted blacks simply as uncivilized. Today, even as television and films depict blacks at all levels of success, hip-hop sends the message that blacks are . . . uncivilized. I find it striking that the cry-racism crowd doesn’t condemn it...
Far from decrying the stereotypes rampant in rap’s present-day blaxploitation, many hip-hop defenders pull the “whitey-does-it-too” trick. They point to the Godfather movies or The Sopranos as proof that violence and vulgarity are widespread in American popular culture, so that singling out hip-hop for condemnation is simply bigotry. Yet such a defense is pitifully weak. No one really looks for a way of life to emulate or a political project to adopt in The Sopranos. But for many of its advocates, hip-hop, with its fantasies of revolution and community and politics, is more than entertainment. It forms a bedrock of young black identity.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Mebbe She Wuz Right After All
Ah beleev if that thar Polish wummun ("From Bronco Back 2 Bovine") would clleck enough ardikklz lahk this in her defince, she might win her court case.
Dour Dumpies Will Be Personae Non Gratae
Yew'll recall that a few munss ago, ah postid bowt a "Happiness Crusade." Evidently, the meme haz infectid a lawmaker in Scotland, bec. they'z got whut's called a "Happiness Campaign," complete with a "happiness czar" (female: inny signifikince ta that choice?). Ah fownd a toochay response ta all this tomfoolery at a forum discussin the campaign:
I am quite sure the Scottish Executive will soon be setting up a Department of National Happiness with a Minister for Happiness, a number of junior ministers and an army of laughing and joking civil servants. Perhaps we will all have to have micro chips placed in every room in the house to measure on a laughometer the amount of laughing that we do per hour. Hefty fines can be imposed on those who don't laugh long or often enough, and imprisonment for any who fail to laugh at Jolly Jack's jokes. (Post # 21)
I am quite sure the Scottish Executive will soon be setting up a Department of National Happiness with a Minister for Happiness, a number of junior ministers and an army of laughing and joking civil servants. Perhaps we will all have to have micro chips placed in every room in the house to measure on a laughometer the amount of laughing that we do per hour. Hefty fines can be imposed on those who don't laugh long or often enough, and imprisonment for any who fail to laugh at Jolly Jack's jokes. (Post # 21)
Takin It One Step Further
The manyfackshrerz o theze here candiez did a new twist on the last 2 wimminz' ackshnz (see the 2 prevyuss posts). Talk bowt "improvin" on a invinshn!
Simlar But Mistekkn
This here wummun musta rayud bowt that thar Polish gal ah jis wrote bowt, er mebbe they'z distuntly relatid, cuz the reeznin more er less seemz ta be along the same lahnz.
Kin yew majin leadin yer son 'n hiz frinz inta sumpin lahk that? Whut did Jesus say bowt that thar millstone?
Kin yew majin leadin yer son 'n hiz frinz inta sumpin lahk that? Whut did Jesus say bowt that thar millstone?
From Bronco Back 2 Bovine
This here wummin solved her critter-problemz yoozin a todully unyoozhwull "herb." (Ah reckun mebbe ah cooda fixt the Ole Man'z curmudjunnyness the same way.)
Ah declayer ah kin't see where it mekks inny sinse ta keep cowz frum benefittin medikly frum that thar crop. After all, the pohr wummin warn't spicin' up her own pottage with it.
Straynin Gnats Award fer the day.
Ah declayer ah kin't see where it mekks inny sinse ta keep cowz frum benefittin medikly frum that thar crop. After all, the pohr wummin warn't spicin' up her own pottage with it.
Straynin Gnats Award fer the day.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Why Johnny Still Kin't Read
Evidintly, even in Oz, the buggery blight iz burnin away:
Sources said the students were told not to discuss the assignment with their parents and that it was to be kept in-class...
"This is another example of a politically-correct agenda masquerading as curriculum..."
Sources said the students were told not to discuss the assignment with their parents and that it was to be kept in-class...
"This is another example of a politically-correct agenda masquerading as curriculum..."
Wayull, Ekwaliddy Iz Awl the Rage, Ainit?
'Manorexia' Is on the Rise
Whin ah seed that wurd, ah thawt it meant that either (a) more women was givin up men (lahk yew giv up smokin or fish fer Lent) or ayulse (b) more women was gittin annerexik frum trubblz with men. Turnz out, both o them guessiz iz all wrong.
Whin ah seed that wurd, ah thawt it meant that either (a) more women was givin up men (lahk yew giv up smokin or fish fer Lent) or ayulse (b) more women was gittin annerexik frum trubblz with men. Turnz out, both o them guessiz iz all wrong.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Strainin Gnats Award 4 the Day
"Granny arrested over lost football."
Ah reckun she cood yooz a shootn ahrn er 2 o mine. Them innerloper "awthorteez" iz ferevr steppn outta bownz.
Hallerween "Show-n-Tell"
Looks like mebbe this here wummun listened ta wun too minny recordinz by the Grateful Dead:
Teacher Charged With Disturbing Corpse
ROCKY GAP, Va. (AP) - A high school science teacher is charged with breaking into a century-old funeral vault, handling the remains of a corpse, and taking photographs of two students holding the bones inside the crypt.
Authorities have charged Candace Longworth, 31, of Bastian, with a felony charge of disturbing and defiling a dead person from a place of burial and two misdemeanor counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The teenagers have been charged as juveniles.
Ah'z flummoxed: since whin duz dayud folk kwalify as crime victims? N how kin summun "disturb" a todully insensate karkuss? Izzis a case of "disturbin the peace" (as in RIP) er whut? Even more bizarre: a rottin skellytin iz abowt as defiled az yew kin get, yet if ewe tech it, yer guilty of "defilin" it? Ah'd thank it'd be the uthr way arown: yer pawz'd be defiled and liable ta git septicimia er sumpin.
Yew reckun mebbe this iz a iggzampl ov a hands-on field trip? Yoo know, "Necromancy 101"...
Teacher Charged With Disturbing Corpse
ROCKY GAP, Va. (AP) - A high school science teacher is charged with breaking into a century-old funeral vault, handling the remains of a corpse, and taking photographs of two students holding the bones inside the crypt.
Authorities have charged Candace Longworth, 31, of Bastian, with a felony charge of disturbing and defiling a dead person from a place of burial and two misdemeanor counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The teenagers have been charged as juveniles.
Ah'z flummoxed: since whin duz dayud folk kwalify as crime victims? N how kin summun "disturb" a todully insensate karkuss? Izzis a case of "disturbin the peace" (as in RIP) er whut? Even more bizarre: a rottin skellytin iz abowt as defiled az yew kin get, yet if ewe tech it, yer guilty of "defilin" it? Ah'd thank it'd be the uthr way arown: yer pawz'd be defiled and liable ta git septicimia er sumpin.
Yew reckun mebbe this iz a iggzampl ov a hands-on field trip? Yoo know, "Necromancy 101"...
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Bunglin Byoorercrat Boondawglz Kntinyoo
"CIA videos reveal the missed chances to kill Bin Laden." More reeznz why ah don trust none o them "awthorteez."
Ah Ain't Budgin
Bec. o mah posts bowt Muzlim cartoonz n sech, bec. ah ain't no Islamophile, wunna them Socio-Plitikl Turmites (aka "Librulz"/Leftists) was beratin me fer bein "racist" & "zeenofobik." Furss ov all, ah'z got dozzunz o zinniaz in my garden. Az fer the former charge, lemme jis kwote Jeff Jacoby, of the Boston Globe:
Earlier this year it was cartoons about Mohammed in a Danish newspaper. Last year it was a Newsweek report, later debunked, that a Koran had been desecrated by a US interrogator in Guantanamo. Before that it was Jerry Falwell's comment on "60 Minutes" that Mohammed was a "terrorist." Back in 1989 it was the publication of Salman Rushdie's satirical novel, "The Satanic Verses."
In every case, the pretext for the Muslim rage was the claim that Islam had been insulted. Freedom of speech was irrelevant: While the rioters and those inciting them routinely insult Christianity, Judaism, and other religions, they demand that no one be allowed to denigrate Islam or its prophet. It is a staggering double standard, and too many in the West seem willing to go along with it. Witness the editorials in US newspapers this week scolding the pope for his speech. Recall the State Department's condemnation of the Danish cartoons last winter.
Of course nobody's faith should be gratuitously affronted. But the real insult to Islam is not a line from a papal speech or a cartoon about Mohammed. It is the violence, terror, and bloodshed that Islamist fanatics unleash in the name of their religion -- and the unwillingness of most of the world's Muslims to say or do anything to stop them.
Earlier this year it was cartoons about Mohammed in a Danish newspaper. Last year it was a Newsweek report, later debunked, that a Koran had been desecrated by a US interrogator in Guantanamo. Before that it was Jerry Falwell's comment on "60 Minutes" that Mohammed was a "terrorist." Back in 1989 it was the publication of Salman Rushdie's satirical novel, "The Satanic Verses."
In every case, the pretext for the Muslim rage was the claim that Islam had been insulted. Freedom of speech was irrelevant: While the rioters and those inciting them routinely insult Christianity, Judaism, and other religions, they demand that no one be allowed to denigrate Islam or its prophet. It is a staggering double standard, and too many in the West seem willing to go along with it. Witness the editorials in US newspapers this week scolding the pope for his speech. Recall the State Department's condemnation of the Danish cartoons last winter.
Of course nobody's faith should be gratuitously affronted. But the real insult to Islam is not a line from a papal speech or a cartoon about Mohammed. It is the violence, terror, and bloodshed that Islamist fanatics unleash in the name of their religion -- and the unwillingness of most of the world's Muslims to say or do anything to stop them.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Ueberkinder
If yew wuz wunnrin where thangz like the Columbine shootinz cum from, here's yer answer:
"Every child in America entering school at the age of 5 is mentally ill because he comes to school with certain allegiances to our founding fathers, toward our elected officials, toward his parents, toward a belief in a supernatural being, and toward the sovereignty of this nation as a separate entity. It's up to you as teachers to make all these sick children well---by creating the international child of the future."
(From keynote address to the Association for Childhood Education International----Denver, April 1972---by Chester M. Pierce, Professor of Education and Psychiatry in the Faculty of Medicine at Harvard University. )
"Every child in America entering school at the age of 5 is mentally ill because he comes to school with certain allegiances to our founding fathers, toward our elected officials, toward his parents, toward a belief in a supernatural being, and toward the sovereignty of this nation as a separate entity. It's up to you as teachers to make all these sick children well---by creating the international child of the future."
(From keynote address to the Association for Childhood Education International----Denver, April 1972---by Chester M. Pierce, Professor of Education and Psychiatry in the Faculty of Medicine at Harvard University. )
Boomerang Brainz
Mind Rewind: Brains Run in Reverse 'Ass nuthin noo fer a oldster lahk me: we'z alweez noticin 'at ahr braynz runz backwurdz.
Dung Under Pressure Makes Gas
Yew'll recall mah post sum muns urlyer bowt us bein pertinchull mobile gas plants. Well, them Japaneez iz tranzformin cow paddeez inta fyool. Also extractin vaniller (!!!) fer scentin candlz n perfyoom.
Ah'z thankin real hard: mah howse iz in the middl ov a cow field; how much yew reckun ah'd be abl ta git per pownd on them thar ole cow paddiez?
Ah'z thankin real hard: mah howse iz in the middl ov a cow field; how much yew reckun ah'd be abl ta git per pownd on them thar ole cow paddiez?
More Muzlim Pollyanna Bizniss
"We want respect for Muhammad restored and we want him to be described as the man he really was in history..." said Ahmed Akkari, spokesman for various Muslim associations.
Yew kin't restore whut nevr wuz thar ta buggin with. As fer the kinda man he wuz, wayull, ah'll be glad ta descrahb him fer yew: long story short, he wuz the Joseph Smith o the Middle East. He startid out by murryin a rich widder (15 yeerz older'n him), and then, later, he had all kinda wivez----not serially, neither. N jis like ole JS, Hammy claimed ta have "revelashnz," which in fact warn't nuthn more'n epleptik fits. 'Cordin ta Zwemer, "[Hammy] was false even to the ethical traditions of the idolatrous brigands among whom he lived, and grossly violated the easy sexual morality of his own system."
Yew kin't restore whut nevr wuz thar ta buggin with. As fer the kinda man he wuz, wayull, ah'll be glad ta descrahb him fer yew: long story short, he wuz the Joseph Smith o the Middle East. He startid out by murryin a rich widder (15 yeerz older'n him), and then, later, he had all kinda wivez----not serially, neither. N jis like ole JS, Hammy claimed ta have "revelashnz," which in fact warn't nuthn more'n epleptik fits. 'Cordin ta Zwemer, "[Hammy] was false even to the ethical traditions of the idolatrous brigands among whom he lived, and grossly violated the easy sexual morality of his own system."
This Ain't No Crock
Croc-wrestling granny wins Australia bravery award
Sydney Police Go on Urban Crocodile Hunt---they awtta jis hire 'at granny!
Sydney Police Go on Urban Crocodile Hunt---they awtta jis hire 'at granny!
Formidubbl Formix
Study: Ants Store Up Fat for Lean Times ??? Haz yew evr seed a fat ant? (Wayull, maybe them Queen Ants when they'z with child.) But here's the bess part: "They can pass the fat through oral secretions to other members of their colony or through unfertilized eggs when needed."
Majin that! Ah reckun if yoomunz had this cuppacity, it'd put anerexyer outta bizniss.
Majin that! Ah reckun if yoomunz had this cuppacity, it'd put anerexyer outta bizniss.
Foley's Follies
Tempest on The Hill bowt Foley's emailz ta them pagiz. Egreejuss indeed. But not suprahzin. After all, it stardid with BillyBoy'z escapades. N continued with hiz militurry policy of "don ask, don tell."
The real issue here iz: WHEN will this society's leaderz start gittin az tuff on sodummy az they iz on smokin? When will they stop strainin gnats 'n swallerin camelz? Buggery'z a much more danjruss public health & safety threat than the kumparativly innokyoouss vice o smokin.
As Senator Santorum statid: "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does." [imfasis mahn]
The real issue here iz: WHEN will this society's leaderz start gittin az tuff on sodummy az they iz on smokin? When will they stop strainin gnats 'n swallerin camelz? Buggery'z a much more danjruss public health & safety threat than the kumparativly innokyoouss vice o smokin.
As Senator Santorum statid: "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does." [imfasis mahn]
Glad Ah Don Live THAR!!!
"Manglish" iz the mishmash idjum ov Mlayzha. Iss a mix tween English, Bahasa n uthr dahlex. Wayull frum now on, iffn yew talk that? Yew's gittn FAHNED!! Majin that! Skriminatin ginst the folk-tongue of the land. Talk bowt bigguttid!
So ah'z wunnrin, jis how do they perpoze ta inforce this law? Iz they gonna hav a whole army of skoolmarmz pepprin the popyoolashn? Er iz they gonna install Orwellyun mikerfone bugz in everbuddy'z teeth?
Ah reckun this'd be speshly harsh on pohr folk: they don hav the vannijiz ov edjookashn, plus they ain't got no $$$.
Mekks me gladder'n evr ah'z a Ozark hillbilly.
So ah'z wunnrin, jis how do they perpoze ta inforce this law? Iz they gonna hav a whole army of skoolmarmz pepprin the popyoolashn? Er iz they gonna install Orwellyun mikerfone bugz in everbuddy'z teeth?
Ah reckun this'd be speshly harsh on pohr folk: they don hav the vannijiz ov edjookashn, plus they ain't got no $$$.
Mekks me gladder'n evr ah'z a Ozark hillbilly.
Talk Bowt Jingoizm!
In a ardikkl where he pollerjiziz fer ever havin supportid the Iraq War, John Derbyshire writes: George W. Bush believes that, to borrow and adjust a line from the Colonel in Full Metal Jacket: “Inside every Middle East Muslim there is an American trying to get out.”
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
This Bustid Mah Oppuhzishn
Ah alweez thawt that wimmin who got balkerny enlarjmints wuz crazy, first, cuz 'ass jis vaniddy, but evn more, cuzza the hayulth risks.
Wayull, ah recant: here's proof that that thar perceedjer kin akshly be not jis figure-enhancin but downright life-savin. (Frum now on, whiniver ah wanna git a good abs wurkowt, all ah hazta do iz thank bowt the lass line, "However they are not as safe as...")
Wayull, ah recant: here's proof that that thar perceedjer kin akshly be not jis figure-enhancin but downright life-savin. (Frum now on, whiniver ah wanna git a good abs wurkowt, all ah hazta do iz thank bowt the lass line, "However they are not as safe as...")
Amish Shootinz
"I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive," said Jack Meyer, a member of the Brethren community..."We think it was God's plan," said Sam Stoltzfuss, 63, an Amish woodworker who lives a few miles away from the shooting scene.
Iss certnly troo that fergivniss iz a major theme in God's skeem o thangz, but it ain't jis a blanket fergivniss that in effeck givz carte-blanche ta folk like Roberts. Noddice what Jesus sez in LUKE 17:3: "Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him." Now lookit the middle o that sayin. It sez "rebuke him." It don say, "Speak all manner o sugary molassiz bowt him." Next, it lists a cndishn fer fergiveniss. Two li'l ledderzzat cntayn dynamite: **IF**.
Az fer God'z planz: furss, obviously, Mr. Stoltzfuss iz tryin ta mekk sinse outta sumpin that haz cawzd hiz peacefl Amish yoonivers ta reel. He'z tryin ta put tagethr the pieciz after a Cosmik Tornader tore inta the wholesome balance o AmishLand. We won cavl with him pursnully (we wish we cood cradle hiz heart like a newborn).
But objektivly speekin, the trooth kin't jiss be submerjd fer the sake o emoshnz. Tho iss certnly troo that God cntrols all thangz n that nuthin'z outside Hiz power, that ain't the same as sayin He's responsibl fer evil. Obviously, He allowz evil to uhkkur (been doin so fer millenia): az ROMANS 9 sez, "What if God... has endured with much patience the vessels of wrath made for destruction..." N He kin certnly tekk evil n yooz it fer Hiz perfick porpussiz (stellar iggzampl: The Crucifixion). But indoorin sumpin ain't by far anywhere near the same thang az plannin er exekyootin it.
Less not let our thankin slide inta Gnawsticizm: less not confyooz The Eternal Holy One with the condemmd Cleschull Executor of Evil.
Iss certnly troo that fergivniss iz a major theme in God's skeem o thangz, but it ain't jis a blanket fergivniss that in effeck givz carte-blanche ta folk like Roberts. Noddice what Jesus sez in LUKE 17:3: "Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him." Now lookit the middle o that sayin. It sez "rebuke him." It don say, "Speak all manner o sugary molassiz bowt him." Next, it lists a cndishn fer fergiveniss. Two li'l ledderzzat cntayn dynamite: **IF**.
Az fer God'z planz: furss, obviously, Mr. Stoltzfuss iz tryin ta mekk sinse outta sumpin that haz cawzd hiz peacefl Amish yoonivers ta reel. He'z tryin ta put tagethr the pieciz after a Cosmik Tornader tore inta the wholesome balance o AmishLand. We won cavl with him pursnully (we wish we cood cradle hiz heart like a newborn).
But objektivly speekin, the trooth kin't jiss be submerjd fer the sake o emoshnz. Tho iss certnly troo that God cntrols all thangz n that nuthin'z outside Hiz power, that ain't the same as sayin He's responsibl fer evil. Obviously, He allowz evil to uhkkur (been doin so fer millenia): az ROMANS 9 sez, "What if God... has endured with much patience the vessels of wrath made for destruction..." N He kin certnly tekk evil n yooz it fer Hiz perfick porpussiz (stellar iggzampl: The Crucifixion). But indoorin sumpin ain't by far anywhere near the same thang az plannin er exekyootin it.
Less not let our thankin slide inta Gnawsticizm: less not confyooz The Eternal Holy One with the condemmd Cleschull Executor of Evil.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Ov Packydurmz'n Passinjerz
Yew'z probly hurd that hack-knee'd PC purrubl bowt how the differnt rlijunz of the wurl ain't nuthn more'n a bunch of blahn min feelin differnt parts o the same ole ellyfunt. Wayull, ah'z got a cownner-purrubl for'm: "Short runway in jet crash had no lights."
'Ass the core problum with false rlijinz: they ain't got no everlastin laht in'm, thur runwayz' reach ain't "long" enuff, & thur final destinashn iz Inferno. Thar'z only wun jinyoowine Clestchull Runway an only wun jinyoowine Clestchull Pilot. All the uthr self-proclaym'd Cleschull Airlahnz haz got ATC's with thur backs turned.
"I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).
'Ass the core problum with false rlijinz: they ain't got no everlastin laht in'm, thur runwayz' reach ain't "long" enuff, & thur final destinashn iz Inferno. Thar'z only wun jinyoowine Clestchull Runway an only wun jinyoowine Clestchull Pilot. All the uthr self-proclaym'd Cleschull Airlahnz haz got ATC's with thur backs turned.
"I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Delivr Us Frum Hyperspurchooaliddy!
Summun jiss innerdooced me ta Michael Spence's site. The man's sharp azza razor. One o mah favert kwotes o hiz is
"Fanatics need to be told that their personal revelations are delusions and the gymnastics of a selfish and vain imagination."
Ah'z had a longstandin colossull averzhn to hyperspurchoolists, thoze who'z ferevr tryin ta out-holy everbuddy else, n who minny tahmz iz nuthn more'n unwittn Gnawstix.
"Fanatics need to be told that their personal revelations are delusions and the gymnastics of a selfish and vain imagination."
Ah'z had a longstandin colossull averzhn to hyperspurchoolists, thoze who'z ferevr tryin ta out-holy everbuddy else, n who minny tahmz iz nuthn more'n unwittn Gnawstix.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Deffnittly NOT Moses' Offspring
>>> The TIKKUN Community starts from this fundamental recognition: The sources of external injustice, suffering, and ecological numbness are to be found not only in economic and political arrangements, but also in our alienation from one another, in our inability to experience and recognize ourselves and each other as holy, in our inability to respond to the call [???] of the universe which bids us to deeper levels of consciousness [???] and love, and in our inability to overcome our own egos and see ourselves as part of the Unity of All Being. <<<
Moses wooda tole them pohr yootopyun great-grandchillun ov hiz (a) the whole problem izzat we AIN'T holy/able ta overcome our own egos & (b) that thar "Unity of All Being" bizness (aka pantheizm) wuz the whole reezun God had him bring down the Tablits frum Mt. Sinai.
The "Unity of All Being" ain't. The Creator is totally seprutt from His creation, that iz, iff'n the creation ceased ta ixist, He'd still be thar, unscathed, Father-Son-n-Holy Ghost, enjoyin the eternal perfeck Oneness that the Godhead haz and will 4evr be. The Brokinness of the creation (that took place in The Garden) din't in no way cawze evn a hairline frakshr in the Divine Harmony of the Trinity.
In uther wurdz, evn tho we'z creatid in His imuj, we ain't parta God, innymore'n Hiz handiwurk is, magnificint tho it be.
Moses wooda tole them pohr yootopyun great-grandchillun ov hiz (a) the whole problem izzat we AIN'T holy/able ta overcome our own egos & (b) that thar "Unity of All Being" bizness (aka pantheizm) wuz the whole reezun God had him bring down the Tablits frum Mt. Sinai.
The "Unity of All Being" ain't. The Creator is totally seprutt from His creation, that iz, iff'n the creation ceased ta ixist, He'd still be thar, unscathed, Father-Son-n-Holy Ghost, enjoyin the eternal perfeck Oneness that the Godhead haz and will 4evr be. The Brokinness of the creation (that took place in The Garden) din't in no way cawze evn a hairline frakshr in the Divine Harmony of the Trinity.
In uther wurdz, evn tho we'z creatid in His imuj, we ain't parta God, innymore'n Hiz handiwurk is, magnificint tho it be.
Friday, August 18, 2006
A Seckyoolur Profit
"As political and economic freedom... diminishes, sexual freedom tends compensatingly to increase. And the dictator... will do well to encourage that freedom. In conjunction with the freedom to daydream under the influence of dope, movies and the radio [& TV], it will help to reconcile his subjects to the servitude." (Aldous Huxley)
Monday, July 31, 2006
Coonta Said It Mohr Kncisely
Doug Wilson sumz up The Bilge-Orjinz Thurry this way:
>>> We do not believe in [Darwinism], which is the view that Prince Charles used to be a frog. <<<
>>> We do not believe in [Darwinism], which is the view that Prince Charles used to be a frog. <<<
Mah Favert Spurchull Lampoonist
Ah'z alweez LOATHED the so-cawld "Higher Criticizm," which ah purfur ta labull as the "Nether Criticizm," cuz it's straight from the Pits o Hell (iff'n yew don buhleeve it, jis lookit whut it led to in the country of its orijin, less'n 100 yeerz after the birth of that pizzunuss teachin), but Doug Wilson sez it bess:
>>> What Princeton, Harvard, Duke and all the theological schools in Germany really need to hear is the horse laugh of all Christendom. I mentioned earlier that proud flesh bonds to many strange things indeed, and I forgot to mention scholarship and footnotes. To steal a thought from Kirkegaard, many scholars line their britches with journal articles festooned with footnotes in order to keep the Scriptures from spanking their academically-respectable pink little bottoms...Nothing is neutral, not even scholarship. <<<
>>> What Princeton, Harvard, Duke and all the theological schools in Germany really need to hear is the horse laugh of all Christendom. I mentioned earlier that proud flesh bonds to many strange things indeed, and I forgot to mention scholarship and footnotes. To steal a thought from Kirkegaard, many scholars line their britches with journal articles festooned with footnotes in order to keep the Scriptures from spanking their academically-respectable pink little bottoms...Nothing is neutral, not even scholarship. <<<
Lissin Up, Kant!
>>> The mere idea of Not Using Others cannot produce a moral code, for only by the light of a moral code can we tell what counts as using others. <<< (Budziszewski, "The Problem With Liberalism")
They Became Foolish In Their Reasoning
>>> Though it always comes as a surprise to intellectuals, there are some forms of stupidity that one must be highly intelligent and educated to commit...Visualize a man opening up the access panels of his mind and pulling out all the components that have God's image stamped on them. The problem is that they all have God's image stamped on them, so the man can never stop. No matter how much he pulls out, there's still more to pull. <<< (Dr. J. Budziszewski, "Escape From Nihilism.")
Saturday, July 22, 2006
A Purubbl Fer Ahr Tahmz
FOXNews.com - Tasmanian-Devil Mouth Cancer Spread by Bites ... Mouth cancer, eh? Yessirree, thar'z deffnitly a sosho-kulchrull uhnalujee here: the liez 'n cant spred fer 41 yeerz by the Leftist/"Librull"-kntrolld Establishmint haz cawzd massiv tumorz across the lan. Aborshn, colossull increesiz in crime (not just kwannitadively but also "kwali"tadively), pushin yoothinazha, divorce, perverzhnz, eggzaltashn o primitivizm, drug yoos, VD----you name it, iss traceable ta the teachinz n pernowncemints (aka polisseez n lawz) ov ahr own dearest indijinuss "Tazmanyun Devilz," thoze Left o cenner.
Too bad 'at, unlike thoze sorry varmints in Afrikker, the Leftists don't die o thur dizeez.
Too bad 'at, unlike thoze sorry varmints in Afrikker, the Leftists don't die o thur dizeez.
Lost In CyberSpace
Ah'z been wunnrin fer a long tahm: jiss iggzackly where do deletid or loss emaylz ind up? Ah haz this vizhn o them all floatin out thar in the cybersea lahk millyunz o aimliss messijiz in a bottl, cyberwaifs needin a home.
Who knowz, mebbe them thar extrytresschullz regardz'm az thur own vurzhn ov a forchoon cookie.
Who knowz, mebbe them thar extrytresschullz regardz'm az thur own vurzhn ov a forchoon cookie.
Gardenz O Edn Fer the Privlijjd
>>> The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service keeps the national Farallones wildlife refuge closed except for a small group of scientists and volunteers who live there year-round. <<<
Of the Elite, for the Elite & by the Elite. Lincoln muss be writhin in his grave. Iss lahk ah'z alweez sayin: iffn them thar folk had thur way, all'v us garden-variety peonz'd be liquidated (fer the welfare o the plannit, donchoo know!), n only them'n thur croneez'd be allowed ta live.
Of the Elite, for the Elite & by the Elite. Lincoln muss be writhin in his grave. Iss lahk ah'z alweez sayin: iffn them thar folk had thur way, all'v us garden-variety peonz'd be liquidated (fer the welfare o the plannit, donchoo know!), n only them'n thur croneez'd be allowed ta live.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Talk Bowt Gittin Permodid!!
Toilet Cleaners Are 'Restroom Specialists' Ah guess bah the same lawjik, garbij min iz "Landfill speshlists" n dotin mommaz who chanjiz dahperz all day long iz "Huggies Speshlists."
Lessee, while we'z at it: pollytishnz iz "Camouflage Speshlists;" arsnists iz "Pyrotechnical Speshlists;" folk who wurk at soowij treetmint plants iz "Faecotropic Speshlists;" rapists iz "Penetration Speshlists;" murdererz iz "Termination Speshlists;" spiez iz "Infiltration Speshlists;" kleptermaynyax iz "Appropriation Speshlists;" n folk who kum up with these uhbzerd yoofeemizmz iz "Obfuscation Speshlists."
But id all stardid with the silly practice of dept. storez callin customerz "guests."
Lessee, while we'z at it: pollytishnz iz "Camouflage Speshlists;" arsnists iz "Pyrotechnical Speshlists;" folk who wurk at soowij treetmint plants iz "Faecotropic Speshlists;" rapists iz "Penetration Speshlists;" murdererz iz "Termination Speshlists;" spiez iz "Infiltration Speshlists;" kleptermaynyax iz "Appropriation Speshlists;" n folk who kum up with these uhbzerd yoofeemizmz iz "Obfuscation Speshlists."
But id all stardid with the silly practice of dept. storez callin customerz "guests."
Anuthr Wun 4 Mah GrannyHallaFame
Granny, 75, found guilty of killing elderly ex-beau You thank mebbe she fownd owt he was a clozzit vurzhn o this feller?
Ewe might jis say us oldsterz haz cumma age.
Ewe might jis say us oldsterz haz cumma age.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Jennl Azza Doe?
Female Deer rushes into home, attacks woman. Yew reckun now't feminazism haz affectid evn them critterz, we might awtta change the species' name?
Notcher Yoozhwull Jimmeez
This evn beatszat granny ah wrote abowt earlier, the one who made hemp cookies: Man Hides Crack in His Banana Split Mindjoo, he warn't eatin 'at ole sundae; it was hiz hidin place fer crack chunx. (Ah reckunnat also beats hidin skunk n snow in a Home Depot toylit, donchoo?)
Kin't yew juss see it? Ben 'n Jurry marketin a new flavor called "Cracked Ice."
Kin't yew juss see it? Ben 'n Jurry marketin a new flavor called "Cracked Ice."
Not Mah Kinda Sharpshootin
California Man Wins Senior Spelling Bee Normally, he spinz hiz tahm shootin down argyoomints in a court room. But whuss really funny: "I think people probably thought I was crazy because I walked along spelling words out loud."
Kn ewe majin ME innat kinda contess? Att'd be bowt lahk lettin a blind man kmpeet in a shootin match. Ah'd be more hyoomilified than a jackal owtsmardid by a mouse.
Kn ewe majin ME innat kinda contess? Att'd be bowt lahk lettin a blind man kmpeet in a shootin match. Ah'd be more hyoomilified than a jackal owtsmardid by a mouse.
Friday, June 16, 2006
The Evilooshn ov Evilooshn
In mah chahlhood, this poster hung on the wall of every classroom:
But now, we'z progressed: 
Oh, the mettle o Modern Man!
But now, we'z progressed: 
Oh, the mettle o Modern Man!
Ress Fer the Sowl
'Cordin ta the Pope, Sunday'z a surryuss day. Butchoo know whut? That ain't sum sorda new item in the long list o Catholic add-on teechinz; no sirree! Iss the 4th Commandmint: "Remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy." Or, as God sez in Isaiah 58: "If you turn back your foot from the sabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day, and call the sabbath a delight and the holy day of the LORD honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; then you shall take delight in the LORD, and I will make you ride upon the heights of the earth..."
Now, a feller named Richard Lapchick (director of the Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sports at the UCF in Orlando [izzat a lotta hot air or WHUT???]) thanx 'at's a bayud idee, cuz the church pewz'll impty out.
Why? "Sports is a religion in this country and a lot of the world." Bullzeye, Mr. Lapchick. Ah'll nevr 4git, a fyoo yeerz back, whin ah showed up fer the evnin surviss at a church on Super Bowl Sundee: not a grown-up innywhere in sight, but a buncha kids colorin at a table. "Izzere a surviss tanight?" I askt. "No, they're all downstairs watching the Super Bowl."
?!?!?!?!?!
But thar'z alweez been folk who had no use fer the Sabbuth; the profit Amos tells about'm (ch. 8): "[When will] the sabbath [be over], that we may offer wheat for sale, that we may make the ephah small and the shekel great, and deal deceitfully with false balances...and sell the refuse of the wheat?"
Fer sum reezn, it all bringz ta mahnd this scene: In the temple He found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers at their business. And making a whip of cords, He drove them all, with the sheep and oxen, out of the temple; and He poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And He told those who sold the pigeons, "Take these things away; you shall not make My Father's house a house of trade."
Now, a feller named Richard Lapchick (director of the Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sports at the UCF in Orlando [izzat a lotta hot air or WHUT???]) thanx 'at's a bayud idee, cuz the church pewz'll impty out.
Why? "Sports is a religion in this country and a lot of the world." Bullzeye, Mr. Lapchick. Ah'll nevr 4git, a fyoo yeerz back, whin ah showed up fer the evnin surviss at a church on Super Bowl Sundee: not a grown-up innywhere in sight, but a buncha kids colorin at a table. "Izzere a surviss tanight?" I askt. "No, they're all downstairs watching the Super Bowl."
?!?!?!?!?!
But thar'z alweez been folk who had no use fer the Sabbuth; the profit Amos tells about'm (ch. 8): "[When will] the sabbath [be over], that we may offer wheat for sale, that we may make the ephah small and the shekel great, and deal deceitfully with false balances...and sell the refuse of the wheat?"
Fer sum reezn, it all bringz ta mahnd this scene: In the temple He found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers at their business. And making a whip of cords, He drove them all, with the sheep and oxen, out of the temple; and He poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And He told those who sold the pigeons, "Take these things away; you shall not make My Father's house a house of trade."
Here We Kum, Waco II
Domino's Pizza's founder wants ta build a Catholic town, Ave Maria, in FLA. But as yew cooda guessed, the ACLU'z up in armz bowt it. Fer one thang, they'z appawplektik bowt the town'z implicit oppuhzishn ta the "Librull" Establishmint's long-standin Death Culture Projeck (Ave Maria woon't have no abortion or sales o contryseptivz). ACLU
Now, regardliss o how yew feel bowt Catholicizm (n mah reederz know ah ain't no fan o that system), this jis goze ta show yew how UNcivil the A"C"LU really iz, and how OPPOSED they really iz ta "liberty." If this country's plitikl imyoon systim din't inclood a constitutional barrier ta religious pursikyooshn, yew kin betcher lass dime't the good ole ACLUerz'd be banishin Christchun folk ta the Gulagz in drovez. Az it iz, they haz ta limit 'mselvz ta yoozin the joodishree.
Yew thank ah'z iggzajeratin? Well, tekk a look at this: After members of the Tangipahoa Parish (La.) School Board hosted a conference to discuss religious liberties in the public school system, an ACLU spokesman compared the board members seeking to pray at meetings to "the people who flew the airplanes into the buildings in this country." (ACLU Compares Praying Christians to Terrorists)
Ah kin't help smellin anuther Waco.
Now, regardliss o how yew feel bowt Catholicizm (n mah reederz know ah ain't no fan o that system), this jis goze ta show yew how UNcivil the A"C"LU really iz, and how OPPOSED they really iz ta "liberty." If this country's plitikl imyoon systim din't inclood a constitutional barrier ta religious pursikyooshn, yew kin betcher lass dime't the good ole ACLUerz'd be banishin Christchun folk ta the Gulagz in drovez. Az it iz, they haz ta limit 'mselvz ta yoozin the joodishree.
Yew thank ah'z iggzajeratin? Well, tekk a look at this: After members of the Tangipahoa Parish (La.) School Board hosted a conference to discuss religious liberties in the public school system, an ACLU spokesman compared the board members seeking to pray at meetings to "the people who flew the airplanes into the buildings in this country." (ACLU Compares Praying Christians to Terrorists)
Ah kin't help smellin anuther Waco.
Muzlimz Ain't Wurried Bowt No P.C.
Didjoo see this? Iss purty amazin! Militant cleric tells Bush, Howard to 'convert to islam' (Uhpropriuttly enuff, hiz lass name is "Bashir.") He'z echoin the "recommindashnz" back in January of unuther Muzlim leader called Zawahiri.
All right, Mr. Prez, they'z opind the door ta spurchool topix, so now'z yer chance ta cowner with the trooth: "Neither is there salvation in any other [besides Jesus Christ]: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time."
All right, Mr. Prez, they'z opind the door ta spurchool topix, so now'z yer chance ta cowner with the trooth: "Neither is there salvation in any other [besides Jesus Christ]: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time."
Fight the good fight, Mr. Prez. This wun'z infinitely more important than the wun yew'z got goin in Iraq. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." "For though we live in the world we are not carrying on a worldly war, for the weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to destroy strongholds; we destroy arguments and every proud obstacle to the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ..."
"Nude is out. Demure is in."
'At wuz part'v a ardikkl that incloodid this: Seventeen magazine has dubbed the new trend Miss Modesty. "The '50s sexy librarian look is in," a Seventeen fashion editor quipped to the Seattle Times reporter.
On the surfiss, 'at looks inkurrijin (but az a uhsahd, when didjoo evr see a "sexy" liburryun? Ah thank 'ass a oxymoron!), but ah don buleev it meenz much. Jis lookit the late 60'z (er wuz it the urly 70'z? Ah'z so ole, ah gits knfyoozd bowt dekaydz): thar wuzzat midi craze, but then, vinchooly, mini cum back agin.
Innyway, iss nice ta know't fer a while, mah mode o dress'll be fashnubbl agin. Evn a ole lady likes ta thank she's still stylish at leess oncet in a while. ;)
On the surfiss, 'at looks inkurrijin (but az a uhsahd, when didjoo evr see a "sexy" liburryun? Ah thank 'ass a oxymoron!), but ah don buleev it meenz much. Jis lookit the late 60'z (er wuz it the urly 70'z? Ah'z so ole, ah gits knfyoozd bowt dekaydz): thar wuzzat midi craze, but then, vinchooly, mini cum back agin.
Innyway, iss nice ta know't fer a while, mah mode o dress'll be fashnubbl agin. Evn a ole lady likes ta thank she's still stylish at leess oncet in a while. ;)
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Slowly Boylin the Frowg
Yew'll recawll't on Aprull 27th ("A New Twist"), ah postid bowt the Fedz' planz ta sahlince the likes of "Rev." Phelps at milliturry fyoonrullz. Ah sed it was the furss baby step in whut'd evinchully be the demise o the Furss Amindmint. Wayull, they done gone'n passt the "Respect For America's Fallen Heroes Act" (zzif ewe cood lejislate respeck). Good wurk, Phelps. Yew's doin a crack job furthrin yer Leftist financierz' fascist aginda.
But asahd frum this assawlt on our freedum, sumpin else cawt mah eye: 'ccordin ta Rpublikn Senator Bill Frist, this mezhur "will protect the sanctity of all 122 of our national cemeteries as shrines to their gallant dead." Ballz o fahr, didjoo ketch them loadid wurdz?! While they'z uhsiddjooussly dismantlin our preshuss Bill O Rights, they'z also sneakin in the rezurrekshn o ancesstr worship.
Ewe reckun 'at'll bekum the new Nashnl Relijun?
But asahd frum this assawlt on our freedum, sumpin else cawt mah eye: 'ccordin ta Rpublikn Senator Bill Frist, this mezhur "will protect the sanctity of all 122 of our national cemeteries as shrines to their gallant dead." Ballz o fahr, didjoo ketch them loadid wurdz?! While they'z uhsiddjooussly dismantlin our preshuss Bill O Rights, they'z also sneakin in the rezurrekshn o ancesstr worship.
Ewe reckun 'at'll bekum the new Nashnl Relijun?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Across the Board
Folk haz tekkn me ta task fer referrin to the Redshirts n thur varyunts az fascist. "Obviously, Granny, your coelanthean mind is confused. It is the BrownShirts alone who qualify as fascists." Ah beg ta differ:
>>> The fascist is whoever is trying to shut you up, shut you down, dis-employ you, silence you, cripple you or marginalize you for the crime of daring to fall out of step with the party[line] and the conventional wisdom. <<< (The Anchoress, 5//15/06)
N by the way, 'at thar blogger ain't no knservuhtiv.
>>> The fascist is whoever is trying to shut you up, shut you down, dis-employ you, silence you, cripple you or marginalize you for the crime of daring to fall out of step with the party[line] and the conventional wisdom. <<< (The Anchoress, 5//15/06)
N by the way, 'at thar blogger ain't no knservuhtiv.
More Bowt the Happiniss Croosayd
My lass poss kwoddid frum that thar blog where the feller wuz talkin bowt a "Happiness Crusade." Now, mahndjoo, ta be shore, 'ass a beddr type croosayd than the type't stardid with a kapitull "C." But here's whut Mr. Lone sez'll happin at the ind o hiz vawntid "croosayd":
Progress towards changing the world might seem slow in the beginning but once that special density of happiness is reached, POW !!! Force H will become active and spread happiness like wildfire. Greed and corruption and armies will be helpless in it's path.
Sownz good on the surfuss. But whin ewe thank abowd it fer a momint, thar'z sum snagz:
(1) Frum what preceedid that purragraf, we know't kordin ta Mr. Lone, happiniss iz sumpin folk jiss simply DECIDE ta feel. But whut abowt all them folk who needz Prozac? Donchoo thank't if happiniss wuz so eezy ta kum by, they'da jiss hopped on that bandwaggun'n rode it inta the grown?
(2) Whud abowt perfeshnull kurmudjunz lahk Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Hitler, Stalin...?
(3) Whud abowt that part of us 'at required the Savior ta havta die on 'at ole Cross? If this whole Happiness Bizniss wuz really The Slooshn, He cooda bin spared all that thar turrible agony He had ta suffer in ahr place.
Psst, Mr. Lone, yew might wanna check, but ah thank yer yootopyunizm iz showin.
Progress towards changing the world might seem slow in the beginning but once that special density of happiness is reached, POW !!! Force H will become active and spread happiness like wildfire. Greed and corruption and armies will be helpless in it's path.
Sownz good on the surfuss. But whin ewe thank abowd it fer a momint, thar'z sum snagz:
(1) Frum what preceedid that purragraf, we know't kordin ta Mr. Lone, happiniss iz sumpin folk jiss simply DECIDE ta feel. But whut abowt all them folk who needz Prozac? Donchoo thank't if happiniss wuz so eezy ta kum by, they'da jiss hopped on that bandwaggun'n rode it inta the grown?
(2) Whud abowt perfeshnull kurmudjunz lahk Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Hitler, Stalin...?
(3) Whud abowt that part of us 'at required the Savior ta havta die on 'at ole Cross? If this whole Happiness Bizniss wuz really The Slooshn, He cooda bin spared all that thar turrible agony He had ta suffer in ahr place.
Psst, Mr. Lone, yew might wanna check, but ah thank yer yootopyunizm iz showin.
Monday, May 15, 2006
More Anthropomorfussahzin
A feller named Mike Lone writes:
"Ever wise, nature developed the process of natural selection. A process intended to fulfill the prime directive established for all life. Nature's prime directive: "preservation of the species". Certainly, nature accepts the loss of species due to environmental and catastrophic causes, but it has never wavered one iota from the original prime directive. It accepts it's [sic] losses and patiently applies every effort to preserve the remaining species.
Sometime during these billions of years, nature invented symbiosis to aid natural selection in the difficult job of evolving higher life forms. " ("Happiness Crusade" @ happyplace.net; imfasiss mahn)
Yew'll recall't a while back, I commintid on the fack 'at folk jiss COON'T seem ta avoid yoozin personal terminawelujjy whin referrin ta whut happinz in nature. Here, yew kin see it wuncet agin. This feller, bless hiz heart, haz a bad case o anthrowpohmorficitis. Jis lookit all them wurdz in orunj! Ballz o fahr, yew git the impression 'at Nature iz a Gibralter-rezoloot Nobel Prize Winner---n a saint ta boot! Summun with a Grand Plan, a Plan't kint be budged fer nuthin. N a yoomaniturryun Plan at that!
N yet, ah distinkly recall Darwin---that M.C. o Nachrull Slekshn---claimin that "The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference."
Psst, Mr. Lone, yew might wanna check real quick, but ah thank yer imuj-o-God is showin.
"Ever since the creation of the world His invisible nature, namely, His eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made."
"Ever wise, nature developed the process of natural selection. A process intended to fulfill the prime directive established for all life. Nature's prime directive: "preservation of the species". Certainly, nature accepts the loss of species due to environmental and catastrophic causes, but it has never wavered one iota from the original prime directive. It accepts it's [sic] losses and patiently applies every effort to preserve the remaining species.
Sometime during these billions of years, nature invented symbiosis to aid natural selection in the difficult job of evolving higher life forms. " ("Happiness Crusade" @ happyplace.net; imfasiss mahn)
Yew'll recall't a while back, I commintid on the fack 'at folk jiss COON'T seem ta avoid yoozin personal terminawelujjy whin referrin ta whut happinz in nature. Here, yew kin see it wuncet agin. This feller, bless hiz heart, haz a bad case o anthrowpohmorficitis. Jis lookit all them wurdz in orunj! Ballz o fahr, yew git the impression 'at Nature iz a Gibralter-rezoloot Nobel Prize Winner---n a saint ta boot! Summun with a Grand Plan, a Plan't kint be budged fer nuthin. N a yoomaniturryun Plan at that!
N yet, ah distinkly recall Darwin---that M.C. o Nachrull Slekshn---claimin that "The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference."
Psst, Mr. Lone, yew might wanna check real quick, but ah thank yer imuj-o-God is showin.
"Ever since the creation of the world His invisible nature, namely, His eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made."
Anuther Columbine, Part 2
"You never hear about anybody who plays the violin building a bomb in their basement." (Adele Ronchetti, mother of prodigy son, in interview about babies and music.)
Az summun who's bin playin the fiddle since the age o 9, ah'll vowch fer that. (Altho o course, tharzzat disconcertin li'l fack bowt folk like Heydrich, who played the fiddle real wayull, too, but it certinly din't increase thur hyoomaniddy none...) Worst thang't ever crosst mah mahnd wuz keepin mah shootin ahrn sharpind by trainin it on them Revinooerz whin they starts trespassin on mah lan ta go rootin arown fer mah still...
Az summun who's bin playin the fiddle since the age o 9, ah'll vowch fer that. (Altho o course, tharzzat disconcertin li'l fack bowt folk like Heydrich, who played the fiddle real wayull, too, but it certinly din't increase thur hyoomaniddy none...) Worst thang't ever crosst mah mahnd wuz keepin mah shootin ahrn sharpind by trainin it on them Revinooerz whin they starts trespassin on mah lan ta go rootin arown fer mah still...
Anuther Columbine, Innywun?
The pyootridniss of 40 yearz of the Leftist/Librull/"Modrut" culture-AIDS iz bekummin ever more apparint:
"A high school teacher in St. Joseph, Mo., gave a horrifying writing assignment in April to his beginning drafting class. The 30 students, who range in age from freshmen to seniors, were told to write a composition explaining who they would kill and how they would do it. The Associated Press reports that the Central High School teacher, Michael Maxwell, has apologized, insisting the instruction was only a writing prompt." (CompuServe News)
Sownz more lahk a murder prompt ta me. N thin they wunner why kidz iz goin on shootin sprees. Maybe he's the same guy who lass yeer wuz teachin kidz how ta stretch a condom over a cuke. This sorda thang iz zackly why Skoolmarm 'n me iz sech ardint perponints ov homeskoolin.
Oh fer a way ta rewind the kussette o histry and erase the past 40 yeerz.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Speakin o That Thar Infumuss Terjecktry
22 January 2023
Dear Mom,
Can you believe it is 2023 already? I am still writing "22" on everything. Seems like yesterday I was sitting in first grade celebrating the century change! I know we haven't really chatted since Chrismas. Sorry. Anyway, I have some difficult news, and I really didn't want to talk about it face-to-face.
Ted's had a promotion, and I should be up for a hefty raise this year if I keep putting in those crazy hours. You know how I work at it. Yes, we are still struggling with the bills. You were right about overbuying on the house, but is IS nice.
Timmy's been "okay" at kindergarten, although he's still not happy about going. But then he wasn't happy about day care either, so what can you do?
He's become a real problem, Mom. He's a good kid, but quite honestly, he's an unfair burden at this time in our lives. Ted and I have talked this through over and over and finally made a choice. Plenty of other families have made this choice and are certainly better off because of it.
I don't expect you to "understand," but you need to be sensitive to our circumstances. I can't afford years of parenting with Timothy if I'm going to have any sort of career, much less any time with my husband. Do you know how long it's been since we just went out together?
Our pastor is supportive and says hard decisions sometimes are necessary. The family is a "system" and the demands of one member shouldn't be allowed to ruin the whole. He told us to be prayerful, consider ALL the factors and do what is right to make the family work. He says that even though he probably wouldn't do it himself, the choice is ours. He was kind enough to refer us to a children's clinic near here, so at least that part will be easy.
I'm not an uncaring mother. I do feel sorry for the little guy. I think he overheard Ted and me talking about "it" the other night. I turned around and saw him standing at the bottom step in his pj's and the little bear you gave him under his arm and his eyes sort of welling up. Mom, the way he looked at me just broke my heart. But I honestly believe this is better for Timmy too. It's not fair to force him to live in a family where there isn't enough money or room.
And please don't give me the kind of grief Grandma gave you over your abortions. It's the same thing, you know. We've told him he is just going in for a vaccination. Anyway, they say the termination procedure is painless.
I guess it's just as well that you haven't seen that much of him. Give our love to Dad. Both of you, stay well--I don't want to have to face another one of these soul-wrenching decisions.
XX Jane
(Original version penned by George Koch; text in orange by Randy Alcorn, epm.org)
Perfickly Lawjikl Terjecktry
>>> In a 1997 cover story in the prestigious bioethics journal the Hastings Center Report, philosopher John Hardwig argued that there is not only a right, but also a "duty to die":
A duty to die is more likely when continuing to live will impose significant burdens--emotional burdens, extensive caregiving, destruction of life plans, and yes, financial hardship--on your family and loved ones. This is the fundamental insight underlying a duty to die. A duty to die becomes greater as you grow older. [Ah bayg yer pardun!!!] As we age, we will be giving up less by giving up our lives . . . To have reached the age of say, seventy-five or eighty years without being ready to die is itself a moral failing, the sign of a life out of touch with life's basic realities. [Shame on me fer livin ta a hunnert 'n fahv!!! Ah reckun soon them revenooerz'll be haulin me off fer more'n jiss runnin a still (which bah the way iz how ah got this ole in the furss place...)]
Bioethicist Battin has also supported the concept of an eventual duty to die for those living in rich countries, not just to spare burdening our loved ones but to promote world egalitarianism. [Donchoo kidjerself: not too long after all the "eligible" folk in "rich" countries haz kumplied with self-eradikayshn, then the Battins will trayn thurr crosshairs on the pohr folk o the wurl, fer the vuri reezunz her cawleeg Hartwig enoomrates abuv.]
Thus, she wrote in a book chapter called "Global Life Expectancies and the Duty to Die" that the time may come when we will have the moral obligation to "conserve health care resources by forgoing [sic] treatment or directly ending [our] life" toward promoting "health prospects and life expectancies that are more equal around the globe"... [Battin n her ilk haz guttid the meanin of "morull."]
Once assisted suicide is accepted in law and culture, the premises of radical autonomy and allowing killing to alleviate human suffering would conjoin, unleashing the irresistible power of logic that would push us inexorably toward the humanist nirvana of death on demand. <<< (Wesley J. Smith, Lifenews.com)
A duty to die is more likely when continuing to live will impose significant burdens--emotional burdens, extensive caregiving, destruction of life plans, and yes, financial hardship--on your family and loved ones. This is the fundamental insight underlying a duty to die. A duty to die becomes greater as you grow older. [Ah bayg yer pardun!!!] As we age, we will be giving up less by giving up our lives . . . To have reached the age of say, seventy-five or eighty years without being ready to die is itself a moral failing, the sign of a life out of touch with life's basic realities. [Shame on me fer livin ta a hunnert 'n fahv!!! Ah reckun soon them revenooerz'll be haulin me off fer more'n jiss runnin a still (which bah the way iz how ah got this ole in the furss place...)]
Bioethicist Battin has also supported the concept of an eventual duty to die for those living in rich countries, not just to spare burdening our loved ones but to promote world egalitarianism. [Donchoo kidjerself: not too long after all the "eligible" folk in "rich" countries haz kumplied with self-eradikayshn, then the Battins will trayn thurr crosshairs on the pohr folk o the wurl, fer the vuri reezunz her cawleeg Hartwig enoomrates abuv.]
Thus, she wrote in a book chapter called "Global Life Expectancies and the Duty to Die" that the time may come when we will have the moral obligation to "conserve health care resources by forgoing [sic] treatment or directly ending [our] life" toward promoting "health prospects and life expectancies that are more equal around the globe"... [Battin n her ilk haz guttid the meanin of "morull."]
Once assisted suicide is accepted in law and culture, the premises of radical autonomy and allowing killing to alleviate human suffering would conjoin, unleashing the irresistible power of logic that would push us inexorably toward the humanist nirvana of death on demand. <<< (Wesley J. Smith, Lifenews.com)
Friday, May 12, 2006
Uhvoydinss Taktix
"...instead of according religion its proper place, much of society ridicules and disdains it, and mocks those who are serious about their faith. In America today, the only respectable form of bigotry is bigotry directed against religious believers. [Yer not callin a spade a spade, Sir: 'at should read
"against Bible-beleevin Christians"] This hatred toward people of faith cannot be explained by the well-publicized moral failures and financial excesses of a few leaders or charlatans or by the censoriousness of some of their followers. No, the reason for hatred of faith is because it forces modern man to confront matters he would prefer to ignore." (William Bennett---imfasiss mahn)
"against Bible-beleevin Christians"] This hatred toward people of faith cannot be explained by the well-publicized moral failures and financial excesses of a few leaders or charlatans or by the censoriousness of some of their followers. No, the reason for hatred of faith is because it forces modern man to confront matters he would prefer to ignore." (William Bennett---imfasiss mahn)
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Face Up Ta the Fax
Mebbe ewe rayud bowt that pohr Frinch wummun who'z had the face tranzplant. While she wuz strung out on drugs "to forget an overtaxing week," her varmint decided her face'd make the nexx bess thang ta k-9 goose pahtay. (Nuthin lahk havin yer overtaxin week compowndid.) Ah reckun whin she woke up ta find her face defaced, it giv her a fresh unnerstandin o the word "bummer."
But whut puzzlz me iz, why in tarnashn would her lab mawl her lahk 'at? Wuz he sum warewulf in dizguyz er whut? Wuz he jiss waitin ta tekk revinj on her fer a long-standin grudj 'bowt bein fed nuthn but compresst-cardboard kibbl? (Mah hownz git real lahv food: all kahnda leff-ovrz n Gliuth-sahzd soop bonez.)
No dowt yew'z heerd the ole sayin, "Show me a dowg, n ah'll show yew iss masser." Whut do yoo reckun 'at varmint's behavyer reveelz bowt his misstruss?
But whut puzzlz me iz, why in tarnashn would her lab mawl her lahk 'at? Wuz he sum warewulf in dizguyz er whut? Wuz he jiss waitin ta tekk revinj on her fer a long-standin grudj 'bowt bein fed nuthn but compresst-cardboard kibbl? (Mah hownz git real lahv food: all kahnda leff-ovrz n Gliuth-sahzd soop bonez.)
No dowt yew'z heerd the ole sayin, "Show me a dowg, n ah'll show yew iss masser." Whut do yoo reckun 'at varmint's behavyer reveelz bowt his misstruss?
Eco-Fashizm Increasiz Hip Problimz
"The Japanese Ministry of Health suspended the daytime use of six of its 18 elevators to curb global warming." Izzis fer real? Do they thank't retahrin 6 li'l ole ellyvaydrz iz gonna mekk a dint in globull warmin? LMTO! Ah guess summun lahk me, who kint manij steps no more, wood havta hire a prahvutt hot-air bulloon ta replace the ellyvaydr.
On 2nd thawt, at woon't wurk, cuz no dowt hot-air bulloonz'd be illegull, too, cuz they'd increase the atmusfeerik warmin.
Wayull, thin, how bowt a real powrfl tramperleen? Beddr yet, less mekk that a treboochay.
On 2nd thawt, at woon't wurk, cuz no dowt hot-air bulloonz'd be illegull, too, cuz they'd increase the atmusfeerik warmin.
Wayull, thin, how bowt a real powrfl tramperleen? Beddr yet, less mekk that a treboochay.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Arkady the Abs-Slimmer
If't inny tahm you might need sum nachrull Prozac, yer bess source iz "The Passing Parade" (passingparade.blogspot.com), a burstcher-buttons-laffin blog written bah a Russian feller with refreshinly knservativ vyooz. Kazhnully, he waxiz surryuss:
"The essential psychological problem for the left is that they believe that they are the Elect, the Chosen to whom the masses owe power and deference because they want to uplift the masses whether or not those masses want uplifting in the first place, and then those same masses have the nerve to reject their betters' beneficence by electing Bushitler and his merry men. Frankly, I think the screeches we keep hearing from these folks are the shrieks of people suffering psychic hernias [LMTO!!], the wails of people born to command being told by their intellectual inferiors, no, thanks, pal, I don’t want any...
Although they would be loath to accept such a description of themselves, the modern leftist is an essentially religious figure. Marxism-Leninism is, for all its pretence to scientific truth, a Christian heresy in which the proletariat serves as both God and Man, the class struggle the struggle with sin, and the revolutionary the proletariat’s prophet. Clearly, in such a belief system, the wholesale slaughter of those embodiments of evil, the bourgeoisie and the capitalists, ceases to be a tawdry suppression of people with a legitimate political point of view, but is, instead, the necessary, even laudable, destruction of a persistent obstacle in the path of the inevitable triumph of the proletariat and the ushering in of the socialist utopia. In this sense, the revolutionary can portray his elimination of thousands of innocent people as a sort or purgatory rite [shades of Robespierre], a secular Judgment Day, if you will, in which the revolutionary separates the proletarian wheat from the bourgeois chaff, and the chaff thrown into the fire and destroyed.
Compelled to combat by a crusading (or if you prefer, jihadist) faith, the modern leftist violently attacks any belief system that might impede his path to power, ignores any fact his faith cannot explain away, and viciously slanders any person who does not agree with his belief system. There is no point in trying to engage in civil discourse with such a person since the modern leftist does not recognize your right to have an opinion that differs from his. Civil discourse can only exist where people understand that they have to agree to disagree with others; the modern leftist makes no such concession..."
Yessirree, he's raht up there with RJN in insightful incisiveness. Reckun there'd be sum way ta git them fellaz ta run fer the Oval Office?
"The essential psychological problem for the left is that they believe that they are the Elect, the Chosen to whom the masses owe power and deference because they want to uplift the masses whether or not those masses want uplifting in the first place, and then those same masses have the nerve to reject their betters' beneficence by electing Bushitler and his merry men. Frankly, I think the screeches we keep hearing from these folks are the shrieks of people suffering psychic hernias [LMTO!!], the wails of people born to command being told by their intellectual inferiors, no, thanks, pal, I don’t want any...
Although they would be loath to accept such a description of themselves, the modern leftist is an essentially religious figure. Marxism-Leninism is, for all its pretence to scientific truth, a Christian heresy in which the proletariat serves as both God and Man, the class struggle the struggle with sin, and the revolutionary the proletariat’s prophet. Clearly, in such a belief system, the wholesale slaughter of those embodiments of evil, the bourgeoisie and the capitalists, ceases to be a tawdry suppression of people with a legitimate political point of view, but is, instead, the necessary, even laudable, destruction of a persistent obstacle in the path of the inevitable triumph of the proletariat and the ushering in of the socialist utopia. In this sense, the revolutionary can portray his elimination of thousands of innocent people as a sort or purgatory rite [shades of Robespierre], a secular Judgment Day, if you will, in which the revolutionary separates the proletarian wheat from the bourgeois chaff, and the chaff thrown into the fire and destroyed.
Compelled to combat by a crusading (or if you prefer, jihadist) faith, the modern leftist violently attacks any belief system that might impede his path to power, ignores any fact his faith cannot explain away, and viciously slanders any person who does not agree with his belief system. There is no point in trying to engage in civil discourse with such a person since the modern leftist does not recognize your right to have an opinion that differs from his. Civil discourse can only exist where people understand that they have to agree to disagree with others; the modern leftist makes no such concession..."
Yessirree, he's raht up there with RJN in insightful incisiveness. Reckun there'd be sum way ta git them fellaz ta run fer the Oval Office?
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Unable Ta RlinkwishThurr Teen Uhdikshnz
Mah reedrz know ah kin't stummuck Leftizm/"Librullizm", n ah ain't got no yoos fer inny ole Hanoi-happy peaceniks, neethr, but notwithstandin, theez here galz merit a minshun, cuz they'z got the same pluck'z yerz trooly.
"NEW YORK (AP) -- Eighteen anti-war activists who call themselves the Granny Peace Brigade [majin that! Hippy geezerettes] were acquitted Thursday of disorderly conduct charges stemming from a protest outside a Times Square military recruiting center last fall."
"NEW YORK (AP) -- Eighteen anti-war activists who call themselves the Granny Peace Brigade [majin that! Hippy geezerettes] were acquitted Thursday of disorderly conduct charges stemming from a protest outside a Times Square military recruiting center last fall."
(english.alarabonline.org)
Ain't she jiss the PICSHER of smugniss? Hain't larnd a thang in her 60+ yeerz on this here plannit. So much fer wizdum bein passed on frum grammaz ta thur grankidz.
HA! Whaddm ah talkin' abowt???? They ain't even GOT no grankidz: they'z the same termagunts't slawdrd off all thur own babeez in the name o "reperduktiv 'rights' "! Turminull jinerashn.
(Noddiss the suttl editoryullahzin: on the banner on the leff, the "r" was skillfully excizd frum "raging", and the simultanyuss loss of the "g" unnerneeth mekks a word sowndin a lot like "ranties". Ewe reckun the fertawgruffer might not hav no yoos fer thurr politix neethr?)
A New Twist On "Wolf In Sheep's Clothing"
Ahr Amurrikn Leftists kood rival the Commies in political chess games. Tekk the "reverend" Phelps, of "godhatesfags" fame (er shood that reed "infummy"). Far'z ah'z kncrnd, he'z nuthin more'n a provawkuhteur, FINANCED BY THE LEFT.
"WHUUUUUUT?????" yew iz probly sayin, scratchin yer hayud. Yessiree, he'z parda thurr machinashnz ta zyklon-B the Furss Uhmindmint----which in turn iz parda thur Grand Skeem fer ultimuttlee Final Solooshnin jinyoowine Christianz. Bah sickin Phelps 'n hiz minyunz all ovr the country (speshly this latist ploy o harassin folk at fyoonurllz fer soljerz killt in Iraq), they'z now got a foot in the door fer limitin free speech, fer puttin on the first, seeminly justifahd, "binign" muzzl on the Furss Uhmindmint.
They haz ta moov real cawshussly, see, in their agenda ta render the U.S. into a FreeSpeech-rein zone. With ahr konstitooshnl hertij, they kin't do it quite az gillyteenishly az did thurr predissessrz, the Redz n the Brownz. So, whut beddr way than appeelin to the right of folks to "mourn their fallen loved ones in peace?" Issa master stroke: turnin Amurrkn patriotizm aginst the vuri folk who churrish it.
Furfetct, yew say? Fur frum it: jiss fer stardrz, knsidr the fack that this feller n hiz ilk pop up like gopherz all ovr the place across the lan. Suppozidly, he heddz up sum li'l ole podunk "Primitive" Baptiss Church in Tuppeekuh. But jiss thank bowt that fer haff a seckund: Baptiss (speshly the "Primitive" types) ain't jinrully rich enuff ta be galavantin all acrosst the whole nashn lahk 'at.
But who IZ? 'Ass raht: the Leftists. N who duz 99% of that kahnda vishuss protestin in this lan? Yew got it: them Sosho-Plitikl turmites. N who stanz ta profit moss by the fall-out frum Phelps' type shenannygunz? The Leftists agin.
No maddr how much they might try ta kammerflawzh mselvz az Right Wing Extreemiss, thurr M.O. betrayz'm. Phelps' outfit ain't nuthn but a Leftist front, and a diabawlikly klevver wun at that.
They'd do Lennin prowd.
"WHUUUUUUT?????" yew iz probly sayin, scratchin yer hayud. Yessiree, he'z parda thurr machinashnz ta zyklon-B the Furss Uhmindmint----which in turn iz parda thur Grand Skeem fer ultimuttlee Final Solooshnin jinyoowine Christianz. Bah sickin Phelps 'n hiz minyunz all ovr the country (speshly this latist ploy o harassin folk at fyoonurllz fer soljerz killt in Iraq), they'z now got a foot in the door fer limitin free speech, fer puttin on the first, seeminly justifahd, "binign" muzzl on the Furss Uhmindmint.
They haz ta moov real cawshussly, see, in their agenda ta render the U.S. into a FreeSpeech-rein zone. With ahr konstitooshnl hertij, they kin't do it quite az gillyteenishly az did thurr predissessrz, the Redz n the Brownz. So, whut beddr way than appeelin to the right of folks to "mourn their fallen loved ones in peace?" Issa master stroke: turnin Amurrkn patriotizm aginst the vuri folk who churrish it.
Furfetct, yew say? Fur frum it: jiss fer stardrz, knsidr the fack that this feller n hiz ilk pop up like gopherz all ovr the place across the lan. Suppozidly, he heddz up sum li'l ole podunk "Primitive" Baptiss Church in Tuppeekuh. But jiss thank bowt that fer haff a seckund: Baptiss (speshly the "Primitive" types) ain't jinrully rich enuff ta be galavantin all acrosst the whole nashn lahk 'at.
But who IZ? 'Ass raht: the Leftists. N who duz 99% of that kahnda vishuss protestin in this lan? Yew got it: them Sosho-Plitikl turmites. N who stanz ta profit moss by the fall-out frum Phelps' type shenannygunz? The Leftists agin.
No maddr how much they might try ta kammerflawzh mselvz az Right Wing Extreemiss, thurr M.O. betrayz'm. Phelps' outfit ain't nuthn but a Leftist front, and a diabawlikly klevver wun at that.
They'd do Lennin prowd.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Unwonted BullsEye
Normully, Emersun's thawts ain't sumpin ah kin indorse, but ah jis abowt fell owtta mah chair when ah cum acrosst this here quote by him:
“A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.”
“A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming.”
Monday, March 13, 2006
Wish It Wuz Indanjrd
Speakin o Monkey Scientiss n thur hairbraynd thurry, ah reckun one ixtinkshn 'at'd be reel dezahrbl wood be the demize o that mintl virus called "Darwinizm." Good riddunce n don hurry back.
Kint wait till we kin sellybrate 'at thar stellr evint. It'll almoss be az good az the Great Rejinerashn 'at Jesus talks bowt in Matthew 19:28.
Kint wait till we kin sellybrate 'at thar stellr evint. It'll almoss be az good az the Great Rejinerashn 'at Jesus talks bowt in Matthew 19:28.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Plinny O Evidinss 2 the Kontrurry
The Monkey Scientiss iz ferevr tryin ta hoodwink us all inta beleevn't man"kind" iz evolvin. Wayull, readin Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach" made me wonder if the man warn't in fack a profit:
"The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furl'd.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world."
Mebbe he smelt it cummin, 'at putrid thurry 'at spread rown the globe like a form o mintal AIDS.
"The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furl'd.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world."
Mebbe he smelt it cummin, 'at putrid thurry 'at spread rown the globe like a form o mintal AIDS.
Friday, March 03, 2006
This Week's PrizeWinner
China publishes etiquette guide for a polite 2008 Olympics First place in strainin gnats n swallerin camullz: etiquette iz irreluvunt whin yew'z got a Jakobin system in power 'at torchurz 'n slawdderz folk who don fit the Commyooniss bed o Procrusteez. Gitcher prioriteez straight, Redshirts.
'Sidez which, "etiquette" iz a thurlee "bourjwah" concepp which inny self-respectin Pinko awta shun lahk lepersee.
'Sidez which, "etiquette" iz a thurlee "bourjwah" concepp which inny self-respectin Pinko awta shun lahk lepersee.
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