Hilarious Case O Plitikl Krekniss!!!

"Potato farmers held a noisy protest outside Parliament today to get the term 'couch potato' removed from the Oxford English dictionary, claiming it harms the vegetable's image."

He Got Hizseff a Good Deal!

Fisherman swaps rare, 800 kg turtle for Mercedes Ah wood, too, woontchoo, cuz the Mercedes runz a lot fastr'n sum ole turddl, plus iss more comfurbl.

Thin agin, this wuz a uhmazin turddl, cuz it kin eat JELLYFISH! (Haz it got a rubber mowth?) It cood act like a guard dawg fer that thar fishermun whin he'z out in the waddr.

O corse, his trade cawzd them biologiss ta git thur knickrz in a knot...Whud ayuls iz new?

Not One Ta Take No Guff

"IndiaDaily - Woman chops off husband's penis in Lucknow" Ah reckun she'n Loreena Babbitt'd git along great, dontchoo thank? Maddr o fack, ah thank ah jis maht invite both o thim wimmin ta joyn me n the uthr feisty granniez ah wrote abowt in urlyer poss; we'z gonna cut down on the crime in the wurl!

Korah, Dathan & Abiram Reviztid

Lake disappears, baffling villagers

Fassinatin accownt! Made me thank of NUMBERS 16:30-33.

Boxer Mike Tyson

"Nobody's going to change me. I'm going to fight that. You can't change me; you can't tame me. When you say that, I'm going to bite you even harder. I'm more ferocious, more complicated. I'm not going to let anybody win a popularity contest off my conduct."...."I'm really embarrassed with myself and my life. I want to be a missionary."

??????

Fer Klarfikashn

Skoolmarm poinid out sumpin ta me bowt mah lass poss, so ah thawd ah'd beddr kreck possibl misperssepshnz: mah poss dint meen ta be sayin 'at ah wuz in favr o Gandhi'z verzhn o rlijn; it warn't a plug fer Hindooizm-cum-Theosofee, nor fer so-calld "Librashn Theolujee." It warn't a chummin up with some sorda jinurrik Globl Rlijn, neethr (run frum 'at lahk a deer frum a rattlr!!!).

Bud ah wood uhgree with him 'atcher faith awtter be more'n simply a Sunday-pew hobby (which iz where thim Librulz'd lahk ta religate mah faith to, viz. "yew kin do spurtchul fingerpaintin ta yer hart's kntint." Ah shore won't; the GOD ah wurship ain't no mere toy).

Why'z It OK Fer Him Alone?

Librulz luvz Gandhi. He's their true Jesus Christ. Wayull, lookit summa the thangz he sed, n it jis mekks ewe wunner agin bowt the 2-facedniss of them Librulz. (Ah guess iss agin a maddr ov "sum rlijunz iz more ekwull'n utherz"----ne'er mahn't 'at clashiz with thur litnee 'bowt how all rlijnz basiklee leed ta the same "mowntn top".)

"For me there are no politics devoid of religion. They subserve religion. Politics bereft of religion are a death-trap because they kill the soul. ...For me, politics bereft of religion are absolute dirt, ever to be shunned...every activity of a man of religion must be bound to God, that is to say, God rules your every breath...Therefore, in politics also we have to establish the kingdom of Heaven....The whole gamut of man's activities today constitutes an indivisible whole. You cannot divide social, economic, political and purely religious work into watertight compartments...I can say without the slightest hesitation, and yet in all humility, that those who say that religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion means."

Another Injun seems ta hav simlar ideez:

>>>Politics is religion for the non-religious, Akaash Maharaj says. "Each of us yearns to be part of something greater than ourselves, to realize the pursuit of ideals more noble than the mere satisfaction of personal appetites," he said in an interview this week. "I've always believed that politics is the only secular reply to that yearning."<<<

Ah evn fown this insightfl [edited] poss at a Goth forum: "Regardless of whether a christian, muslim, buddhist, atheist or whoever is in power, the laws will be made in relation to their beliefs. You cannot escape it. Religion IS politics, politics IS religion...Whatever you adhere to, will influence how you run whatever it is you are running...Whether one person's beliefs should be forced on everyone else? Well, if you don't like it, do something about it. It is much easier to do so in a democratic country. However, the fact remains, that doing something about it is actually doing exactly what you are complaining about. Forcing your beliefs/religion/politics on someone else. " (WillowVine)

Lahk it sed in wun o mah uther poss, yoominz jis kint git away frum the spurtchull natcher o life.

Works Both Ways

Time Magazine (Stealth Attack On Evolution) relegates I.D. to the category of smokescreen for Creationism. Hmmmnnn...Well, if that's so, then we need some good, hard articles from that same periodical and its cohorts about Darwinism as nothing more than a smokescreen for Reductionist Secularism. (SK)

You Said It, Suh!

"I will not impose upon them my religion, which is Christianity. But let them not impose upon me and my fellow Christians their religion, which is secularism. Secularism is a religion of its kind, and usually a very loud-spoken and intolerant religion. Nonsectarianism is not secularism, and when nonsectarianism is intended, the secularist sect must not claim for itself the field which it refuses to others." (Archbishop Ireland)

"A secular religion, like many more traditional faiths, might logically seek to promulgate its own set of values and beliefs in opposition to competing value and belief systems. Since such a religion would by its nature have no churches, congregations or pulpits, its forum might be the outlets of popular culture such as media and entertainment. It might also include the court system." (from the blog "No Illusions")

Izzis Whutcha'd Call a "Jet Birth"?

Teenager gives birth at 85 MPH Ha'd she manij ta push that fass?

A Li'l Belatid, Ah'd Say

Mass. Gov. Romney calls red tide disaster: 6/ 10/ 2005 Whuss his problem? 'At state's been ailin' frum a plitikl Red Tide fer dekadez.