Didjoo read bout the Wendy'z bowl o chili contaynin a cut-off finger? Na, jis watch: purdy soon, the Fedz'll yoozzat az a ixkyoos ta ban the sale o inny kahnda food 'at needz cuttin. Eatereez'll only be allowed ta serv stuff lahk Gerber food, puddin, ahss-creem, milk-sheks, bevrijiz, suryulz n sech.
In uther wurdz, food fit fer infuntahl byoorerkrats.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Time Litrully RUNZ OUT!
MIT's invintid a noo tahp o 'larm clock, called Clocky. "After the snooze button is pressed, the clock, which is equipped with a set of wheels, rolls off the table to another part of the room." ROTFL!The idee izzat folk'll stagger oudda bayud ta ketch the thang'n turn id off. After that, the pursn'd be wahd awake.
Problim: (1) Duz the gadjit sprout wingz ta gurrntee that it won't lan on its hayud? (2) Whud if the ownr'z one o thim folk who'd evn sleep thru a bomb blass? Thin, the kntrapshn'd juss run loonee thru the whole howse. Whin iss battree had fahnlee RIP'd, wood that meen thar wuz no more tahm leff fer the owner neethr, n she'd RIP, too?
Ah thank ahd rathr not git one o them gadjits; kain't truss'm...
Problim: (1) Duz the gadjit sprout wingz ta gurrntee that it won't lan on its hayud? (2) Whud if the ownr'z one o thim folk who'd evn sleep thru a bomb blass? Thin, the kntrapshn'd juss run loonee thru the whole howse. Whin iss battree had fahnlee RIP'd, wood that meen thar wuz no more tahm leff fer the owner neethr, n she'd RIP, too?
Ah thank ahd rathr not git one o them gadjits; kain't truss'm...
Uhkwaddik Con-Ardists
Ah jiss incounerd the headlahn, "Octopuses 'walk' on 2 arms to get by predators" 'n thought (a) whut varmint'd have the tomfooleree nuff ta wanna tangl with a okterpus? and (b) hah the blaziz wood an okterpus keep from gittin hiz 8 legz all tangld up?
Wayull, thin ah red the akshul ardikl, n it had evn funnyer stuff in it:In Indernezha, " [2 varmints] wrapped six arms around themselves, looking like a coconut on the sea floor. They then used the two rear arms to move backward." In Awstraylyer, "[anuther 8ped] was seen raising two arms above its head before lifting four more and moving backward on the two remaining arms. The researchers described it as looking like 'a clump of algae tiptoeing away.' " ROTFL! ROTFL!
Them okterpussiz cood kmpeet with the chimps az clevr comix! N here ah allweez pikshrd octerpussiz as seeryuss n skeery prediturz!
Wayull, thin ah red the akshul ardikl, n it had evn funnyer stuff in it:In Indernezha, " [2 varmints] wrapped six arms around themselves, looking like a coconut on the sea floor. They then used the two rear arms to move backward." In Awstraylyer, "[anuther 8ped] was seen raising two arms above its head before lifting four more and moving backward on the two remaining arms. The researchers described it as looking like 'a clump of algae tiptoeing away.' " ROTFL! ROTFL!
Them okterpussiz cood kmpeet with the chimps az clevr comix! N here ah allweez pikshrd octerpussiz as seeryuss n skeery prediturz!
Reefs 'n Realiteez
This iz SOOOOO xsahtin!!! Thar'z 2 mathuhmuttishnz who'z dimonstr8d how the incidint in the Bahbul consurnin the Partin o the Red Sea coulda happind (this iz onlee an extrak; reed all abowd it by googlin it):
>>>Volzinger, who specializes in ocean phenomena, flooding, and tidal waves, calculated that the wind had to have blown at a sustained speed of 67 miles per hour to make the reef. Once the reef formed, he told the St. Petersburg Times, "It would take the Jews--there were 600,000 of them--four hours to cross the 4.2-mile reef that runs from one coast to another. Then, in half an hour, the waters would come back." The story says that when the Egyptian army followed them into the Red Sea, they drowned. "I am convinced that God rules the Earth through the laws of physics," he said. <<<
Koodowz, Mr. Volzinger!! He haz a dubbl reezn fer wurkin on this n bein pleezd with the rzults, cuz it wuz hiz forebearz who made that trek cross that thar ole sea! :)
Who Sez?
[Ah got this exsillint ahtim frum prolifemelbourne. blogspot.com. It of corse ekkoze a standurd rashnale---a litnee, reelly----we've bin forsst ta endoor since a certn ghasslee leegl dessizhn in 1973 here in this lan, an its implikashnz also reech out ta the Schiavo case. Ah hav made a cuppl ov small emindayshnz.]
Conversation between a Yankee and a Southerner in 1858:
Yankee: Slavery is an unjust institution.
Southerner: Is that your belief, is it?
Yankee: I believe it to be true.
Southerner: Well, as a slave owner, I believe you are mistaken.
Yankee: It really should be illegal.
Southerner: You don’t have to own ‘em, but don’t bother me.
Yankee: But some truths are universal, not regional.
Southerner: A southern man knows whuss bess for the south.
Yankee: Does a slave owner know what’s best for his slaves?Southerner: The black man is inferior, he don’t know what’s best for anyone.
Yankee: He is human, with unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Southerner: You Northerners can’t impose that values system on us!!!!<<<
Conversation between a Yankee and a Southerner in 1858:
Yankee: Slavery is an unjust institution.
Southerner: Is that your belief, is it?
Yankee: I believe it to be true.
Southerner: Well, as a slave owner, I believe you are mistaken.
Yankee: It really should be illegal.
Southerner: You don’t have to own ‘em, but don’t bother me.
Yankee: But some truths are universal, not regional.
Southerner: A southern man knows whuss bess for the south.
Yankee: Does a slave owner know what’s best for his slaves?Southerner: The black man is inferior, he don’t know what’s best for anyone.
Yankee: He is human, with unalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Southerner: You Northerners can’t impose that values system on us!!!!<<<
Rabbits Vs. Woolvz
>>>Brian Schiavo, Michael's brother, said he spent Sunday afternoon with his brother and Terri at the hospice, but Terri did not move or make any noises. "Anybody that thinks that she talks and responds, they need to have a mental health examination," he said. <<<
If ewe wuz a rabbit, n 2 woolvz cornrd ewe, moss lahklee ewe'd lie'z still'z a stown, hopin they'd pass ewe by (ahz seed rabbitz yoozzat taktik). Ah rekkn Terri don wanna hav nuthin ta do with sumbodee who jiss wants ta git her oudda the way. She'z problee skeerd ta DETH that he'z gonna do her in YET. It muss be TORCHER fer her ta hav him thar fer evn one minit!
The bruther'z commint rmahnz me of the furss Rushn asternawt who cum back frum ahdder space n sed, "Ah din't see no God out thar." Folks in search of a brayn-wave...
If ewe wuz a rabbit, n 2 woolvz cornrd ewe, moss lahklee ewe'd lie'z still'z a stown, hopin they'd pass ewe by (ahz seed rabbitz yoozzat taktik). Ah rekkn Terri don wanna hav nuthin ta do with sumbodee who jiss wants ta git her oudda the way. She'z problee skeerd ta DETH that he'z gonna do her in YET. It muss be TORCHER fer her ta hav him thar fer evn one minit!
The bruther'z commint rmahnz me of the furss Rushn asternawt who cum back frum ahdder space n sed, "Ah din't see no God out thar." Folks in search of a brayn-wave...
Vejeez Vs. Hyoomunz
"In a persistent vegitative state." Hah minny tahmz haz ewe read them wurdz? Ahm wunnrin whethr the folk who parrut that phrase haz ever delt with vejeez in their naddiv habitat, rather'n jis the de-nootrifahd kahnd they bah at the stowr.
Ah maht not be reel edjook8id, but ah DO know sumpin bout veggeez, since ahza been growin'm fer well-nigh 83 yeerz, 'n ah kin tell ewe that they'z vuree active, them vejeez. Thar'z the seedlin 't starts pokin outta the grown and evinchoolee becumz the full-blowd leaves or (az in the case of variuss greenz lahk ledduss, turnip greenz, shard, exc.) the vejtubble itself. Thin, there's the acshull veggie growin, lahk the radish er the turnip er the beet.
Evn whin a vejee nevr gits pickt, it still "duz" sumpin, namelee, it goze ta seed, which agin involvz change. So evn vejeez don "vejitate."
Besahdzzat, they don't laugh or cry or moan or blink thur eyez, 'n they don LAHK bein hugged, all of which DO apply ta Terri.
N az the Perfessr sez, "The DNA of a human can never transform into the DNA of a vegetable----or vice-versa." He tole me that meenz't hyoomunniss kint turn into vejeeniss or t'uther way arown. Wunce a vejee, alweez a vejee; wunce a hyoomun, alweez a hyoomun.
Ah kin vowtch fer that.
Repreev Fer Terri Schiavo
>>>Life is full of surprise and lightning-like lurches. The person in a coma today wakes up tomorrow and says, "Is that you, mom?" Life is unknowable. Always give it a chance to shake your soul and upend reality.....life is mysterious. Medicine is full of happenings and events that leave brilliant doctors scratching their heads.<<< ( From Peggy Noonan's "Don't Kick It" http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pnoonan/?id=110006442)
They're goin ta let her live while they go for an appeal. Good. But that poor wummin, bein pulld back n forth lahk the baby of Solomon's mutherz....Crooltee cumz in all kahnz a kullerz.
They're goin ta let her live while they go for an appeal. Good. But that poor wummin, bein pulld back n forth lahk the baby of Solomon's mutherz....Crooltee cumz in all kahnz a kullerz.
Live Think-Fossil
Wuz jis revyooin Orwell'z 1984, and cum uhcrosst "Oldthink." Now, thass me intahrlee. N thin it had that fraze, "The revolution'll be complete when the language is perfect." Hmmmnnn, ah rekkun that meenz ah'll ne'r be part of that revlooshn, cuz ah miss the mark turrrrblee! (On t'uther han, in FAR-N-HI 451, if ewe wuz'n a reader, yew wuz n assit [nodiss the firss 3 ledderz o that wurd?] ta sosietee. Go figyur.)
In inny case, them kahnda guvmints don lahk ixcentrix lahk me; we don nevr fit the mold; we don keer bout their silly vyooz n goalz. We'z jis nachrull Liburtaryunz.
In inny case, them kahnda guvmints don lahk ixcentrix lahk me; we don nevr fit the mold; we don keer bout their silly vyooz n goalz. We'z jis nachrull Liburtaryunz.
Orjinz Ov the Twistid Cross "Frog"
In mah prevyuss poss, ah minchunned that the Terry Schiavo case smelt lahk Schloss Hartheim, the slow "boilin ov the frog" that evenchoolee led to the Shoah. Sum folk bellyaked 't ah wuz "overreactin," cuz after all, "it wuz only cumpashnut to let the pohr wummin die" (ne'r mahnd that iss her HUZBUNN who'z bin tryin hiz darndist fer yearz ta git her killed off). Well, here'z a bit a info 't maht inlahtn them folk:
>>>In 1920 Germany [13 yeerz 'fore Hitler!], a book was published, titled THE PERMISSION TO DESTROY LIFE UNWORTHY OF LIFE, by Alfred Hoche, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at the University of Freiburg, and Karl Binding, a professor of law from the University of Leipzig. They argued in their book that patients who ask for "death assistance" should, under very carefully controlled conditions, be able to obtain it from a physician. The conditions were spelled out, and included the submission of the request to a panel of three experts, the right of the patient to withdraw his request at any time, and the legal protection of the physicians who would help him terminate his life. Binding and Hoche explained how death assistance was congruent with the highest medical ethics and was essentially a compassionate solution to a painful problem. [Sown fumilyer???]
Death assistance, according to the authors, was not to be limited to those who were able or even willing to ask for it. They would have such mercy extended as well to "empty shells of human beings" [the real "imptee shellz" wuz them "doctorz" who had hollow chests!!!!] such as those with brain damage, some psychiatric conditions, and mental retardation, if by scientific criteria the "impossibility of improvement of a mentally dead person" could be proven. The benefits to society would be great, they said, as money previously devoted to the care of "meaningless life" would be channeled to those who most needed it, the socially and physically fit. Germans needed only to learn to evaluate the relative value of life in different individuals.
An opinion poll conducted in 1920 revealed that 73% of the parents and guardians of severely disabled children surveyed would approve of allowing physicians to end the lives of disabled children such as their own. Newspapers, journal articles, and movies joined in shaping the opinion of the German public. The Ministry of Justice described the proposal as one that would make it "possible for physicians to end the tortures of incurable patients, upon request, in the interests of true humanity" (reported in the N.Y. Times, 10/8/33, p. 1, col. 2). And the savings would redound to the German people if money was no longer thrown away on the disabled, the incurable, and "those on the threshold of old age."
...Over time Pfannmuller [an M.D. in charge of a major hospital] set up Hungerhauser (starvation houses) for the elderly. By the end of 1941, euthanasia was simply "normal hospital routine."(from A. Mitcherlich & F. Mielke, THE DEATH DOCTORS, pp. 264-265) <<<
And even there in Krautland, id all started as a "prahvit" n "volntaree" thang between the payshnt n the M.D.
Wayull, az innywun fumillyer with Kraut histree knowz, it dint stay prahvit or volntaree fer long. By 1941, it rezultid in well-nigh 100,000 kumpulsree deths ov totullee innusint folk. After that, Hitler "restrictid" hisself ta yoozin Einsatzkommandoz and gas chamberz----this tahm not on invulidz, ole folk, dementid and sech lahk, but on uther "unwelkum elemints" lahk Jooz, Polez, Commyoonists, Soshlists, JW'z, Rushn POW'z and Christchunz lahk the Ten Boomz who helped er hid Jooz.
>>>In 1920 Germany [13 yeerz 'fore Hitler!], a book was published, titled THE PERMISSION TO DESTROY LIFE UNWORTHY OF LIFE, by Alfred Hoche, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at the University of Freiburg, and Karl Binding, a professor of law from the University of Leipzig. They argued in their book that patients who ask for "death assistance" should, under very carefully controlled conditions, be able to obtain it from a physician. The conditions were spelled out, and included the submission of the request to a panel of three experts, the right of the patient to withdraw his request at any time, and the legal protection of the physicians who would help him terminate his life. Binding and Hoche explained how death assistance was congruent with the highest medical ethics and was essentially a compassionate solution to a painful problem. [Sown fumilyer???]
Death assistance, according to the authors, was not to be limited to those who were able or even willing to ask for it. They would have such mercy extended as well to "empty shells of human beings" [the real "imptee shellz" wuz them "doctorz" who had hollow chests!!!!] such as those with brain damage, some psychiatric conditions, and mental retardation, if by scientific criteria the "impossibility of improvement of a mentally dead person" could be proven. The benefits to society would be great, they said, as money previously devoted to the care of "meaningless life" would be channeled to those who most needed it, the socially and physically fit. Germans needed only to learn to evaluate the relative value of life in different individuals.
An opinion poll conducted in 1920 revealed that 73% of the parents and guardians of severely disabled children surveyed would approve of allowing physicians to end the lives of disabled children such as their own. Newspapers, journal articles, and movies joined in shaping the opinion of the German public. The Ministry of Justice described the proposal as one that would make it "possible for physicians to end the tortures of incurable patients, upon request, in the interests of true humanity" (reported in the N.Y. Times, 10/8/33, p. 1, col. 2). And the savings would redound to the German people if money was no longer thrown away on the disabled, the incurable, and "those on the threshold of old age."
...Over time Pfannmuller [an M.D. in charge of a major hospital] set up Hungerhauser (starvation houses) for the elderly. By the end of 1941, euthanasia was simply "normal hospital routine."(from A. Mitcherlich & F. Mielke, THE DEATH DOCTORS, pp. 264-265) <<<
And even there in Krautland, id all started as a "prahvit" n "volntaree" thang between the payshnt n the M.D.
Wayull, az innywun fumillyer with Kraut histree knowz, it dint stay prahvit or volntaree fer long. By 1941, it rezultid in well-nigh 100,000 kumpulsree deths ov totullee innusint folk. After that, Hitler "restrictid" hisself ta yoozin Einsatzkommandoz and gas chamberz----this tahm not on invulidz, ole folk, dementid and sech lahk, but on uther "unwelkum elemints" lahk Jooz, Polez, Commyoonists, Soshlists, JW'z, Rushn POW'z and Christchunz lahk the Ten Boomz who helped er hid Jooz.
Schloss Hartheim, Here We Cum
Ah im SICKIND bah whuss goin on with that poor wummun, Terry Schiavo. It sownz lahk Nazism thru the back door to me. The Perfessr agreez: he sez casiz lahk this iz slowly "boilin' the frog," settin' a pressidint fer fyootcher horrerz.
Dorthy Seese's essay said id all (theze'r ixtrax frum it):
"Don't even consider the idea that Terri Schiavo's case is either unique or particular to her family in this Machiavellian age. It is neither. An individual ordered by a court, sentenced to death by starvation because she is "a useless feeder" is each and every one of us under similar circumstances, a human over whom the state has exercised the power of life and death absent any crime and punishment being involved. The punishment is for being useless, a burden to the state, considered a soulless offspring of the detestable theory of evolution that renders all of us just an accident in primordial slime.
She is me because I am disabled with a spinal fracture. She is every maimed and "useless" veteran of the wars in which America has involved itself for political reasons and left behind the unnamed military personnel, some teenagers, whose lives will be spent as disabled persons requiring continual medical care. She is each elderly person whose life has been spent going to school, getting married, having children, being a productive worker for the government's tax program and a contributor to Social Security. She is you and me and all of these people who were disabled by an accident at work, at home, in an automobile...
Terri Schiavo is one individual, a living soul who is about to suffer death by starvation at the mandate of the court of "justice" as it is now interpreted in this godless land. If our military starved an enemy captive to death there would be an international uproar and courts martial. But a helpless woman whose husband wishes to remarry? A burden to the state? Not a problem for the judges to order such a person to die.
America is utilitarian now, or Hegelian, or anything the government wants to brand it....
It can happen to anyone, yes it can happen to you, and the anyones and you and I no longer have any say in our "representative" government... "(http://newswithviews.com/Seese/dorothy6.htm)
T'uthr thang 't rilez me ta DETH izzat her duhbilitayshn cum from maltreetmint, not frum sum silly ole "eatin' disorder." Az yoozhooull, the press ain't doin iss job; ain't telling the truth, but rathr hidin and distortin it.
Dorthy Seese's essay said id all (theze'r ixtrax frum it):
"Don't even consider the idea that Terri Schiavo's case is either unique or particular to her family in this Machiavellian age. It is neither. An individual ordered by a court, sentenced to death by starvation because she is "a useless feeder" is each and every one of us under similar circumstances, a human over whom the state has exercised the power of life and death absent any crime and punishment being involved. The punishment is for being useless, a burden to the state, considered a soulless offspring of the detestable theory of evolution that renders all of us just an accident in primordial slime.
She is me because I am disabled with a spinal fracture. She is every maimed and "useless" veteran of the wars in which America has involved itself for political reasons and left behind the unnamed military personnel, some teenagers, whose lives will be spent as disabled persons requiring continual medical care. She is each elderly person whose life has been spent going to school, getting married, having children, being a productive worker for the government's tax program and a contributor to Social Security. She is you and me and all of these people who were disabled by an accident at work, at home, in an automobile...
Terri Schiavo is one individual, a living soul who is about to suffer death by starvation at the mandate of the court of "justice" as it is now interpreted in this godless land. If our military starved an enemy captive to death there would be an international uproar and courts martial. But a helpless woman whose husband wishes to remarry? A burden to the state? Not a problem for the judges to order such a person to die.
America is utilitarian now, or Hegelian, or anything the government wants to brand it....
It can happen to anyone, yes it can happen to you, and the anyones and you and I no longer have any say in our "representative" government... "(http://newswithviews.com/Seese/dorothy6.htm)
T'uthr thang 't rilez me ta DETH izzat her duhbilitayshn cum from maltreetmint, not frum sum silly ole "eatin' disorder." Az yoozhooull, the press ain't doin iss job; ain't telling the truth, but rathr hidin and distortin it.
Wrongfl Rulinz
Judge Kramer opines that thar's "no rational purpose" for denying murrij to gay couples." Chikkin droppinz, fella! Ewe got it backwurdz: thar's no rashnull purpose for grantin purvurts the privilij of gettin legullee hitched. Marrij iz by definishn a cuvnunt between a man and a wummun. God creatid Adam 'n Eve, not Adam 'n Steve.
If them Sodomite types wanna 4nik8 in a privutt corner, ah rekkun thass their bizniss, but they hain't got no constitooshnul justifikayshn ta ixtort marriage rights frum societee. The State iz sposd ta uphold whuss RAHT (see ROMANS 13), not sankshn or promote vileness.
With all this joodishull activizm, they're jis blightin ahr countree more and more. Joodishul kudzu. Iss dveluppmints lahk this 't make me wish ah hattn't lived ta this rahp ole age o 103 yearz. Ah shooda Gone Home back 'bout 1965; then ah'd a never had ta suffer all the Leftist skullduggree of the past 40 yeerz; never gotten no ulcerz from all the aggruvayshn.
If them Sodomite types wanna 4nik8 in a privutt corner, ah rekkun thass their bizniss, but they hain't got no constitooshnul justifikayshn ta ixtort marriage rights frum societee. The State iz sposd ta uphold whuss RAHT (see ROMANS 13), not sankshn or promote vileness.
With all this joodishull activizm, they're jis blightin ahr countree more and more. Joodishul kudzu. Iss dveluppmints lahk this 't make me wish ah hattn't lived ta this rahp ole age o 103 yearz. Ah shooda Gone Home back 'bout 1965; then ah'd a never had ta suffer all the Leftist skullduggree of the past 40 yeerz; never gotten no ulcerz from all the aggruvayshn.
Udderly Eco-Frinly ConCowkshnz
Talk about "natural products" and "recyclin"! In India, folk kin buy "lotions, potions and pills to cure anything from cancer to hysteria to piles -- all made from cow urine or dung." Wait'll ahr eco-freeks git a hold a that idee!
Persnully, I thank cow-paddeez'd make good paper: ahz notissd whin they'z ole 'n dried out, they takes on the consistuncy of rough lunch-bag paper (sorta lahk the brown paper-tahlz ewe still sumtahmz fahnd in public privviez).
Persnully, I thank cow-paddeez'd make good paper: ahz notissd whin they'z ole 'n dried out, they takes on the consistuncy of rough lunch-bag paper (sorta lahk the brown paper-tahlz ewe still sumtahmz fahnd in public privviez).
Science Maht Yet Prove Superstishn Raht
"Tiny pre-humans who lived on an Indonesian island until about 12,000 years ago had brains so surprisingly sophisticated that the creatures may represent a previously unrecognized species of early humans, or hominids..."
Looks lahk them santists iz gonna havta eat crow: them "pre-hyoomunz" iz probably leperkawnz or trollz er sumpin lahk that. N here them "experts" haz alwayz skofft at the invizibl relm.
Looks lahk them santists iz gonna havta eat crow: them "pre-hyoomunz" iz probably leperkawnz or trollz er sumpin lahk that. N here them "experts" haz alwayz skofft at the invizibl relm.
Sumtahmz, Iss Good 2 B At the Bottum
"An annual survey by condom-maker Durex has ranked Singapore for three straight years near the bottom of its list of sexually active nations."
Fancy that! Ah bet them folk also haz no problumz with STD's or illigitimussee, either. Wunner whut makes them tick? Whudever it iz, ahr folk here in this-here lan cood shore larn frum them.
Fancy that! Ah bet them folk also haz no problumz with STD's or illigitimussee, either. Wunner whut makes them tick? Whudever it iz, ahr folk here in this-here lan cood shore larn frum them.
"Spiritid" Coffin
>>>Ex-Judge Jailed for Using Nyquil<<<
He wuz unner howse arress fer fixin tickits; he had a real bad coff; he wuz spozta stay away frum booz.
Thar'z a cuppla observayshnz ah hav on this: (1) whah do they swaller camulz and strain gnats? A pore, sick ole judj cain't evn take his Nyquil in peace (becuz it "contains so much alcohol that it was specifically prohibited unless he notified authorities"), but pot gits sankshunned as "medisin" in The Goldrush State. (2) Next tahm a revenooer givz me trubble bout mah still, ah'll jis tell'im ahz brooin' mah own Nyquil.
Still MORE Compitishn!!
Turnz out, in Afrikka thar's anuther gal who'z 125. "While her ears and eyes are weak, despite her frailness, her mind and her spirit are still strong and active." Mah twin, ah rekkun! :) N bess ov all, her 'n me share this, too: "She attributed her longevity to God." Thassit: He knowz all yer dayz fore yer even a twinkle in yer pappy'z ahz!!! (Check it out in Psalm 139.)
Mahnd Yer "E'z" n "U'z"!!
Mah skoolmarm frin frets alot bout how fer the lass 40 yeerz, the skoolz hain't been imfasahzin krek spellin (she ain't preechin ta the kwahr). She sez the flosuffee izzat spellin ain importunt, jis folk "ixpressin thimselvz" (ah rather fancee that flosuffee mahself----fer obveeuss reezunz). But ballz o fahr, turnz out spellin kin make a WURRRRL o differnce!!
***Typing Error Causes Nuclear Scare*** Sum fumbl-fingrd keybordist in ahr militurry had tahped that the U.S. wuz kunduktin nooklur tests in Soodan. The Soodneez leederz wuz real bint outta shape, cuz they had'n hurd nuthin bout this. "It turned out that the word Sudan was merely a typing error for Sedan, the name of a nuclear test site in Nevada."
Made me thank of that verse in PROVURBZ (13:17) "A bad messenger plunges men into trouble, but a faithful envoy brings healing." Majin if them Soodneez had gone nooklur way that Wisconsin gunmun did! (They'da bin expressin thimselvz all raht!)
Mebbe ah beddr go back'n git me sum spellin' lessunz...
***Typing Error Causes Nuclear Scare*** Sum fumbl-fingrd keybordist in ahr militurry had tahped that the U.S. wuz kunduktin nooklur tests in Soodan. The Soodneez leederz wuz real bint outta shape, cuz they had'n hurd nuthin bout this. "It turned out that the word Sudan was merely a typing error for Sedan, the name of a nuclear test site in Nevada."
Made me thank of that verse in PROVURBZ (13:17) "A bad messenger plunges men into trouble, but a faithful envoy brings healing." Majin if them Soodneez had gone nooklur way that Wisconsin gunmun did! (They'da bin expressin thimselvz all raht!)
Mebbe ah beddr go back'n git me sum spellin' lessunz...
Shot Thru With Rayj
Majin goin bullistick over sumpin in a sermun! That gunmun in Wisconsin who killed 7 folk in his congrugayshn, jis whut WUZZZZ he thankin? Killin the folk in the pyooz over sumpin sed in the pulpit???
But noddice whut kahnda pulpit it wuz: a branch o Armstrongizm (red flag #1) and preachin 'at the ind tahmz'z near (red flag #2). The Perfessr sez 'at kahnda lopsahdid imfasis'z called "chiliazm" (flatchoolince in the brain?) or "millinerizm" (bonnit overheatin the brain?); sez jis that kahnda thankin'z whut cawzed the problimz with sum guy named Monster in Germunnee in Loother'z day (with a name lahk "monster" whudyoo ixpek?), and also sech moovemints az the Millerahts durin the 19th century, n more recintlee, the Hevvin'z Gate group and Jim Jonez'z and Koresch.
Mercy! Donchoo thank folks'd git a cloo fum the lahks o them igzampulz 'n stay as FURRRR away frum them kinda preechrz az they kin? Whud evver happind ta readin yer Bahble and spottin errer and stayin way frum woolvz? (Evn AH kin do that! ) Sakes alahv, it ain't lahk Jesus dint warn bout false teechin nuff tahmz! (Bud He nevr sed ewe cood shoot 'at kahnda woolf, neether.)
N yet thar's still folk who claym "it don madder whutchoo bleeve; whudevver makes you happy." (Ever noddice, tho, how them folk don feel that way uttall bout politix? They gits ALLLLLL bint outta shape if ewe don hol the same vyooz'z they do. THEIR rlijn iz politix.)
But noddice whut kahnda pulpit it wuz: a branch o Armstrongizm (red flag #1) and preachin 'at the ind tahmz'z near (red flag #2). The Perfessr sez 'at kahnda lopsahdid imfasis'z called "chiliazm" (flatchoolince in the brain?) or "millinerizm" (bonnit overheatin the brain?); sez jis that kahnda thankin'z whut cawzed the problimz with sum guy named Monster in Germunnee in Loother'z day (with a name lahk "monster" whudyoo ixpek?), and also sech moovemints az the Millerahts durin the 19th century, n more recintlee, the Hevvin'z Gate group and Jim Jonez'z and Koresch.
Mercy! Donchoo thank folks'd git a cloo fum the lahks o them igzampulz 'n stay as FURRRR away frum them kinda preechrz az they kin? Whud evver happind ta readin yer Bahble and spottin errer and stayin way frum woolvz? (Evn AH kin do that! ) Sakes alahv, it ain't lahk Jesus dint warn bout false teechin nuff tahmz! (Bud He nevr sed ewe cood shoot 'at kahnda woolf, neether.)
N yet thar's still folk who claym "it don madder whutchoo bleeve; whudevver makes you happy." (Ever noddice, tho, how them folk don feel that way uttall bout politix? They gits ALLLLLL bint outta shape if ewe don hol the same vyooz'z they do. THEIR rlijn iz politix.)
Ahz Got Compitishn!
Ballz o fahr! In Berzil, thar's a wummin even older'n me: she'z 125!!!! (She looks lahk one o them thar shurvld-up appul-head dollz. Bud ah guess the pot shoont be callin the keddul black.) Nod only that, but lissen ta this!!! She'z ahtlived all but 3 ov her 14 yung unz! Majin that! Ah'd lahk ta kumpare notes with her 'bout how she manijed ta git that ole!
Ah dunno if ahd wanna stick aroun 'at long....Bud on the uther hand, then ahd be the moss famuss oldster!
On t'other sahd o the wurld frum thad ole crone, in Japayun, they duskuverd a mayun who'z 107, who'z bin dayud for 5-10 yearz. He wuz livin with his yung unz (but they'z in their 70'z). He wuz alreddy MUMMIFAHD!!! Na, hah do ewe spoze that he cood git away with that??? (Er mebbe ah odduh refraze that kweschun: hah did hiz YUNG-UNZ git away with that? They muss not hav no snoopee revenooerz o'er there who go snufflin out thangz like pigz after the trufflz, way they do over here. [And folks here iz alwayz braggin that the US o A is "the freeist lan on the planit." Mummycock.])
Ah dunno if ahd wanna stick aroun 'at long....Bud on the uther hand, then ahd be the moss famuss oldster!
On t'other sahd o the wurld frum thad ole crone, in Japayun, they duskuverd a mayun who'z 107, who'z bin dayud for 5-10 yearz. He wuz livin with his yung unz (but they'z in their 70'z). He wuz alreddy MUMMIFAHD!!! Na, hah do ewe spoze that he cood git away with that??? (Er mebbe ah odduh refraze that kweschun: hah did hiz YUNG-UNZ git away with that? They muss not hav no snoopee revenooerz o'er there who go snufflin out thangz like pigz after the trufflz, way they do over here. [And folks here iz alwayz braggin that the US o A is "the freeist lan on the planit." Mummycock.])
Despotizm In 2 Modez
>>>The First Amendment only restricts government control of speech. So private employers are free to fire at will in most states<<<
This wuz minshunned in a nooz arddikul 'bout folks who got fahrd fer blawggin about their wurkplace. Remahndid me of whud a Rushn gal wunce tole me: in the S.U., her Rushn ingineer huzbund wood criteek detaylz of projex at his wurkplace to his boss, and if they wuz valid criteex, he'd git credit and the chanjuz'd be made (if they wuz yoosliss, hiz commints'd jiss git ignord).
Not so wunce he got to the U.S.: he din't know that here, cumpuneez don brook no "sass." Whin he made a valid criteek to his Amurrkn boss, he fownd hizself bumped out on hiz hahnee.
Ah dunno whuss worse: gittin imprizunned fer yer pliticull vyooz, er gittin fahrd fer yer lijitimutt criteex on the job. Either way, iss teerunnee.
In inny case, ahz glayud ah don hav no boss breethin dahn mah nick bout mah blawg.
This wuz minshunned in a nooz arddikul 'bout folks who got fahrd fer blawggin about their wurkplace. Remahndid me of whud a Rushn gal wunce tole me: in the S.U., her Rushn ingineer huzbund wood criteek detaylz of projex at his wurkplace to his boss, and if they wuz valid criteex, he'd git credit and the chanjuz'd be made (if they wuz yoosliss, hiz commints'd jiss git ignord).
Not so wunce he got to the U.S.: he din't know that here, cumpuneez don brook no "sass." Whin he made a valid criteek to his Amurrkn boss, he fownd hizself bumped out on hiz hahnee.
Ah dunno whuss worse: gittin imprizunned fer yer pliticull vyooz, er gittin fahrd fer yer lijitimutt criteex on the job. Either way, iss teerunnee.
In inny case, ahz glayud ah don hav no boss breethin dahn mah nick bout mah blawg.
DNA of Yoonivers Don't Need No Flag
>>>David Friedman, an attorney for the American Civil Liberties Union who is challenging courthouse displays [of the Big 10C] in Kentucky countered: "An assertion that the Ten Commandments is THE source, THE foundation of our legal system ... that is simply wrapping the Ten Commandments in the flag, and that's endorsement."<<<
Indorsemint? Shore nuff, feller: it's indorsemint of God's dezahn; it's sayin "this nashn ain't gonna go the route ov the Brownshirts and the Redshirts, who rejektid The Dezahn and indid up torcherin and slawtrin millyunz o innocint folk." It's sayin, "we don wanna see our lan, our nashn, become evin more pyootrid than you sekyoolarists haz alreddy manijd ta make it with your 40 yeerz o tinkerin via the judishry and the skoolz and the meedya" (40 yearz a bein out in the dezurt with Leftist Farrowz at the helm). It's sayin "ENUFF o yer meddlin with our lahvz and our culcher. We want our country back." It's sayin "We're ****FED UP**** with yer yoosurpin behavior."
But wrappin the Big 10C in the flag? Nope, the flag'z a symbol; ya don wrap sumpin az vitull, az essenchull az the DNA o the Yoonivers in sum ole symbol. Thass sorta lahk packin a dahmund in a bubbl-gum wrapper.
Indorsemint? Shore nuff, feller: it's indorsemint of God's dezahn; it's sayin "this nashn ain't gonna go the route ov the Brownshirts and the Redshirts, who rejektid The Dezahn and indid up torcherin and slawtrin millyunz o innocint folk." It's sayin, "we don wanna see our lan, our nashn, become evin more pyootrid than you sekyoolarists haz alreddy manijd ta make it with your 40 yeerz o tinkerin via the judishry and the skoolz and the meedya" (40 yearz a bein out in the dezurt with Leftist Farrowz at the helm). It's sayin "ENUFF o yer meddlin with our lahvz and our culcher. We want our country back." It's sayin "We're ****FED UP**** with yer yoosurpin behavior."
But wrappin the Big 10C in the flag? Nope, the flag'z a symbol; ya don wrap sumpin az vitull, az essenchull az the DNA o the Yoonivers in sum ole symbol. Thass sorta lahk packin a dahmund in a bubbl-gum wrapper.
Cardboard Radiashn Shieldz
>>>"The idea of having a fence around the Ten Commandments to make clear the state has nothing to do with it, I think that is bending it too far," said acting Solicitor General Paul Clement, in arguing against a strict First Amendment wall between church and state. <<<
A fence rown the Big 10C? ROTFL! Iz we tryin ta perteck the Big 10C frum the Leftists, or iz we tryin ta perteck the Leftists frum the Big 10C? Ziff the Big 10C wuz tractable! Ziff ewe could fince in lahtnin.
Watch out, ewe skeerd sekyoolurrists! The Big 10C ain't stuck on some monyoomint or in a book: they'z the vuree heart 'n soul, the vuree DNA ov the yoonivers. They'z az unavoidubble az graviddee. How duz the N.T. put it? "But the Word of God is not fettered."
That ole fince ahdee remahndz me o the dayz way back yondr, whin the Feds tole folks ta stay insahd and keep the winderz clozed after a nukleer bomb test.
A fence rown the Big 10C? ROTFL! Iz we tryin ta perteck the Big 10C frum the Leftists, or iz we tryin ta perteck the Leftists frum the Big 10C? Ziff the Big 10C wuz tractable! Ziff ewe could fince in lahtnin.
Watch out, ewe skeerd sekyoolurrists! The Big 10C ain't stuck on some monyoomint or in a book: they'z the vuree heart 'n soul, the vuree DNA ov the yoonivers. They'z az unavoidubble az graviddee. How duz the N.T. put it? "But the Word of God is not fettered."
That ole fince ahdee remahndz me o the dayz way back yondr, whin the Feds tole folks ta stay insahd and keep the winderz clozed after a nukleer bomb test.
The More Inner Guv't. A Peepul Haz---
The less oudder gov't. they needz.
(This is Part 2 of "Freedum Frum Inner Teerunnee." )
Ahm thankin 'bout a small groop o Shoah survahvrz mah SchoolMarm frin tole me about: 3 min an a wummun wuz a-lyin unner a house fer over a year, hidin out frum the Nazis. The narraydur of the story wuz wun o them 3 min (aftur WWII he became the CEO of a vuree suksessful Forbes-company that he foundid) and he statid that it wuz only thru inforcemint of the Big 10C by his uncle (who wuz also one ov the 3 min) that they manijd ta survahv that ordeel. Utherwahz, the Nazis wouldn'a had ta do nuthin: the 3 min wooda teared each uther up amungst themselvz (bucuz o the wummun and food). The narraydur said that the Big 10C were the bildin blox fer civilahzashn.
Thin, there wuz a cuppla teenz in Nazi Germunnee who towardz the ind of the War bludjinned to death 2 Joowish folk who had manijd to escape from a concintrayshn camp into the woodz. At the hearin by the Amurrikn Military Trahbyoonul at the ind of the War, the judj asked them 2 yung folk what the blaziz they thought they wuz doin, slawtrin 2 innocint folk. "Din't ewe feel inny sorta guilt bout yer akshunz?" The 2 teenz wuz surprahzd at that kweschun: "Of course not; whah should we? Joowz ain't hyoomun." See? They already had no inklin ov the Big 10C. Thass how fass the dekay goze whin a peepul turnz their back on the Big 10C.
Ahz also thankin bout what sum o the Shoah survivurz said 'bout the Germunz who had okyoopahd Eastern Yoorup durin the Great War: "Then, they were kind, courteous and helpful." MAJIN THAT! In jis ***1*** jinerashun, a whole nashn wint frum doin whuss raht ta practissin monstrossitee. Whah? Simplee cuz they din't see fit ta stick ta the Big 10C. The Big 10C iz real purishabul, which iz whah in the O.T., in Doodoronummee, the Master O the Yoonivers warnz the Izrullahts ta teach the Big 10C "ta yer yung unz and ta yer yung unz' yung unz."
Utherwahz, morully and ethiklee, man"kind" keeps havin ta reinvint the wheel, but alwayz at the ixpinss o millyunz o folk who git crushed unner the wheel.
(This is Part 2 of "Freedum Frum Inner Teerunnee." )
Ahm thankin 'bout a small groop o Shoah survahvrz mah SchoolMarm frin tole me about: 3 min an a wummun wuz a-lyin unner a house fer over a year, hidin out frum the Nazis. The narraydur of the story wuz wun o them 3 min (aftur WWII he became the CEO of a vuree suksessful Forbes-company that he foundid) and he statid that it wuz only thru inforcemint of the Big 10C by his uncle (who wuz also one ov the 3 min) that they manijd ta survahv that ordeel. Utherwahz, the Nazis wouldn'a had ta do nuthin: the 3 min wooda teared each uther up amungst themselvz (bucuz o the wummun and food). The narraydur said that the Big 10C were the bildin blox fer civilahzashn.
Thin, there wuz a cuppla teenz in Nazi Germunnee who towardz the ind of the War bludjinned to death 2 Joowish folk who had manijd to escape from a concintrayshn camp into the woodz. At the hearin by the Amurrikn Military Trahbyoonul at the ind of the War, the judj asked them 2 yung folk what the blaziz they thought they wuz doin, slawtrin 2 innocint folk. "Din't ewe feel inny sorta guilt bout yer akshunz?" The 2 teenz wuz surprahzd at that kweschun: "Of course not; whah should we? Joowz ain't hyoomun." See? They already had no inklin ov the Big 10C. Thass how fass the dekay goze whin a peepul turnz their back on the Big 10C.
Ahz also thankin bout what sum o the Shoah survivurz said 'bout the Germunz who had okyoopahd Eastern Yoorup durin the Great War: "Then, they were kind, courteous and helpful." MAJIN THAT! In jis ***1*** jinerashun, a whole nashn wint frum doin whuss raht ta practissin monstrossitee. Whah? Simplee cuz they din't see fit ta stick ta the Big 10C. The Big 10C iz real purishabul, which iz whah in the O.T., in Doodoronummee, the Master O the Yoonivers warnz the Izrullahts ta teach the Big 10C "ta yer yung unz and ta yer yung unz' yung unz."
Utherwahz, morully and ethiklee, man"kind" keeps havin ta reinvint the wheel, but alwayz at the ixpinss o millyunz o folk who git crushed unner the wheel.
Freedum Frum Inner Teerunee
>>>"You can't get the Declaration of Independence out of the Ten Commandments," said Scalia.<<<
Hmmmnnnn, the revurnd justiss mint thatchoo kin't fahnd the roots o the DoI in the Big 10 C. But thar'z anuthr way o readin that: "You kin't rid the Big 10C o the DoI thass imbeddid in it." Iss lahk this: w/o the Big 10C, evenchoolee, cuz everbodee duz whatever they wants, thar'z nuthin but the despotizm o the Law O the Jungl. The Big 10C iz the DoI frum the slavree ov ahr lower natchur.
Ah iz puzzld: whah iz everbodee so skeerd o the Big 10C? Lissin, iz they ufrayd o the manyool 'at cumz with their car? Do they rejeck the instrukshnz fer their gadjits they buy? Wayull then, whah rejeck the Manyool Fer Civilizashn?
Hmmmnnnn, the revurnd justiss mint thatchoo kin't fahnd the roots o the DoI in the Big 10 C. But thar'z anuthr way o readin that: "You kin't rid the Big 10C o the DoI thass imbeddid in it." Iss lahk this: w/o the Big 10C, evenchoolee, cuz everbodee duz whatever they wants, thar'z nuthin but the despotizm o the Law O the Jungl. The Big 10C iz the DoI frum the slavree ov ahr lower natchur.
Ah iz puzzld: whah iz everbodee so skeerd o the Big 10C? Lissin, iz they ufrayd o the manyool 'at cumz with their car? Do they rejeck the instrukshnz fer their gadjits they buy? Wayull then, whah rejeck the Manyool Fer Civilizashn?
They Luv Her To Death
Thar's a cult in Mexico that trahz ta stay on the good sahd of Santa Muerte---Saint Death (cyooryussly enuff, she's feemayl). They call thimselvs "Death Worshippers." Nah do tell me, whah in tarnation wood sumbody exalt pyootrifakshn (cuz thass whut death duz to yer carcuss)? Less jis ussoom fer a momint, thoze thar folk (livin az they do in a lan thass well-knowd az illitrut [they cain't even mezhr up ta MAH levl, which iz puthetiklee illitrut!!!]) hain't got no Good Book ta look spurchull thangz up in (meanin they don even know the first Commandmint). But doncher Commun Sinse even tell ewe that Death ain't worshippubl? Ah mean, worship litrully means "worthiniss." Death ain't worthy; he'z the worss thief in the yoonivurs!!! He steelz yer LAHF!.....
The Perfessr jis remahndid me about that passij in ROMANS 1 'at says, "For even though they knew GOD, they did not honor Him as God, or give thanks; but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened."
Wayull, it muss be darker'n the Blackest Hole in ahter space fer them ta worship The Kosmik Killer.
The Perfessr jis remahndid me about that passij in ROMANS 1 'at says, "For even though they knew GOD, they did not honor Him as God, or give thanks; but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened."
Wayull, it muss be darker'n the Blackest Hole in ahter space fer them ta worship The Kosmik Killer.
Varmints Abound
The hedlahn read, "Strange Animal Stalking Streets of D.C." I figyoord, wayull, iss true that politishnz iz strange varmints, but on the other hand, they ain't nuthin noo in D.C. Turns out, it's kayotes they'z refurrin 2.
Hmmnnn, innerestin analujee, cuz coyotes shred uther cridders ta pieciz, and they'z wiley and unnerhandid. All o them traits applahz 2 the akshnz ov the politishnz toward the voter/taxpayer.
So now, D.C. has the orijnull, 4-leggid kayote in uddishn 2 the more "udvanced" 2-leggid vrahttee. Franklee, ah thank ah'd rather vote fer the 4-leggid kahnd, cuz they'd jis raid mah chikkin coop, not mah wallit.
A relaydid ardikul said that D.C. haz the smartest popyoolashn. Whut???? If they duz, thin whah in tarnayshn kin't they evun do basik rithmuttik? They'z got us in2 a hoRRRRRinduss defissit, and they'z constantly gittin us in2 warz we don win...THIS is "smart"????
Shore, 'n ahm Ahnstahn'z dawdder.
Hmmnnn, innerestin analujee, cuz coyotes shred uther cridders ta pieciz, and they'z wiley and unnerhandid. All o them traits applahz 2 the akshnz ov the politishnz toward the voter/taxpayer.
So now, D.C. has the orijnull, 4-leggid kayote in uddishn 2 the more "udvanced" 2-leggid vrahttee. Franklee, ah thank ah'd rather vote fer the 4-leggid kahnd, cuz they'd jis raid mah chikkin coop, not mah wallit.
A relaydid ardikul said that D.C. haz the smartest popyoolashn. Whut???? If they duz, thin whah in tarnayshn kin't they evun do basik rithmuttik? They'z got us in2 a hoRRRRRinduss defissit, and they'z constantly gittin us in2 warz we don win...THIS is "smart"????
Shore, 'n ahm Ahnstahn'z dawdder.
Self-Inflicktid Blahnniss
>>>Monk Confuses Super Glue For Eye Drops<<<
The pore abbit wuz jis wantin some releef frum itchy ahz when he reached inta the comyoonul medsin cabnit ta git sum soothin ah drops. He indid up gluin his ahz shut! (Ah rekkun that was the prank o sum novice monk thar who had a grudj aginst the ole geezer.)
Hmmnnn, there's ahrny in this sad story: conflatin glue with eye drops//conflatin ersatz religion with the real thang. (Which don in inny way detrack frum the heartbreak of readin bout his plight. Thass NOT whud I mean.)
The pore abbit wuz jis wantin some releef frum itchy ahz when he reached inta the comyoonul medsin cabnit ta git sum soothin ah drops. He indid up gluin his ahz shut! (Ah rekkun that was the prank o sum novice monk thar who had a grudj aginst the ole geezer.)
Hmmnnn, there's ahrny in this sad story: conflatin glue with eye drops//conflatin ersatz religion with the real thang. (Which don in inny way detrack frum the heartbreak of readin bout his plight. Thass NOT whud I mean.)
The Lonnnng Handa Deth
Ray Charlz done got hisself ***EIGHT*** Grammyz!!! Ah odder apply fer one o' them, seein how ahz THE "grammy" par xlonz....But, sakes alahv!!! Thar'z 2 thangz here 't don make sinse: 1) Ray Charlz ain't no wummin and 2) he ain't even ALAHV!!
Sumpin iz mahty amiss thar! Whuss the wurld cummin to whin a DAYUD MALE (and not even a DWM at that!!!) kin git hisself a Grammy?
Sumpin iz mahty amiss thar! Whuss the wurld cummin to whin a DAYUD MALE (and not even a DWM at that!!!) kin git hisself a Grammy?
Many Maniaz
The Perfessr wrote an essay claymin that if sumbody wants ta hide their flawz, they kin jiss yooz wurdz with a Latin jeeneologee (whud ah call fancy-doodle wurdz), insted a wunz cumin from the AngloSaxon famlee. Fer example: ewe could hahdjer luv ov sips frum the still by sayin ewe suffrd from "potomania." A wummin who'z anorexik could just say she'z got a bad case o "sitiomania." (Ta me, that sounz lahk couch-potato-ahtis.)
The Perfessr'z playin a li'l game with me: he sez he wants to see if ah know whut theze here wurdz mean. So, I'll uhblahj him by supplyin mah own deffernishnz:
timromania: Ecofreaks sufferz frum this; they worships TREEZ!
zoomania: PETA folk haz this ufflikshn; they worships cridderz (ah kint blame'm: ah perfurz varmints ta yoomunz inny day)
theomania: this muss be whut made so many Irish folk write their lass namez with a "O" in front.
pyromania: thass whin sumbody luvz Pyrex dishiz too much (mah neess sufferz frum that)
polymania: This disordr dint lass long: it wuz the craze fer callin yer baby gurl "Polly" (woont it be grate if all illnissiz wuz that eezy ta kyoor?)
plutomania: cuppla dekaydz ago, all the liddul kidz wuz crayyyyzee about that funny cartoon caraktur, Pluto (anuther disordr that kyoored itself)
pharmacomania: the modurn obsession with makin li'l farmz into big corperashnz (whut did mah Ole Man in)
phagomania: the oppuzit ov homofobya
onomamania: the repeated misbehavyer ov teenajrz whin they don wanna obay their mammy
nosomania: a lodda wimmin sufferz from this---it's bein too meddlesum and wantin ta know everthang; also called "bizzybodiniss"
anglomania: a excessiv luv a geomitree
dinomania: (1) bein obsessed with dahnasorez; (2) bein obsessed with eatin' out
The Perfessr'z playin a li'l game with me: he sez he wants to see if ah know whut theze here wurdz mean. So, I'll uhblahj him by supplyin mah own deffernishnz:
timromania: Ecofreaks sufferz frum this; they worships TREEZ!
zoomania: PETA folk haz this ufflikshn; they worships cridderz (ah kint blame'm: ah perfurz varmints ta yoomunz inny day)
theomania: this muss be whut made so many Irish folk write their lass namez with a "O" in front.
pyromania: thass whin sumbody luvz Pyrex dishiz too much (mah neess sufferz frum that)
polymania: This disordr dint lass long: it wuz the craze fer callin yer baby gurl "Polly" (woont it be grate if all illnissiz wuz that eezy ta kyoor?)
plutomania: cuppla dekaydz ago, all the liddul kidz wuz crayyyyzee about that funny cartoon caraktur, Pluto (anuther disordr that kyoored itself)
pharmacomania: the modurn obsession with makin li'l farmz into big corperashnz (whut did mah Ole Man in)
phagomania: the oppuzit ov homofobya
onomamania: the repeated misbehavyer ov teenajrz whin they don wanna obay their mammy
nosomania: a lodda wimmin sufferz from this---it's bein too meddlesum and wantin ta know everthang; also called "bizzybodiniss"
anglomania: a excessiv luv a geomitree
dinomania: (1) bein obsessed with dahnasorez; (2) bein obsessed with eatin' out
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