Mebbe ewe rayud bowt that pohr Frinch wummun who'z had the face tranzplant. While she wuz strung out on drugs "to forget an overtaxing week," her varmint decided her face'd make the nexx bess thang ta k-9 goose pahtay. (Nuthin lahk havin yer overtaxin week compowndid.) Ah reckun whin she woke up ta find her face defaced, it giv her a fresh unnerstandin o the word "bummer."
But whut puzzlz me iz, why in tarnashn would her lab mawl her lahk 'at? Wuz he sum warewulf in dizguyz er whut? Wuz he jiss waitin ta tekk revinj on her fer a long-standin grudj 'bowt bein fed nuthn but compresst-cardboard kibbl? (Mah hownz git real lahv food: all kahnda leff-ovrz n Gliuth-sahzd soop bonez.)
No dowt yew'z heerd the ole sayin, "Show me a dowg, n ah'll show yew iss masser." Whut do yoo reckun 'at varmint's behavyer reveelz bowt his misstruss?
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Eco-Fashizm Increasiz Hip Problimz
"The Japanese Ministry of Health suspended the daytime use of six of its 18 elevators to curb global warming." Izzis fer real? Do they thank't retahrin 6 li'l ole ellyvaydrz iz gonna mekk a dint in globull warmin? LMTO! Ah guess summun lahk me, who kint manij steps no more, wood havta hire a prahvutt hot-air bulloon ta replace the ellyvaydr.
On 2nd thawt, at woon't wurk, cuz no dowt hot-air bulloonz'd be illegull, too, cuz they'd increase the atmusfeerik warmin.
Wayull, thin, how bowt a real powrfl tramperleen? Beddr yet, less mekk that a treboochay.
On 2nd thawt, at woon't wurk, cuz no dowt hot-air bulloonz'd be illegull, too, cuz they'd increase the atmusfeerik warmin.
Wayull, thin, how bowt a real powrfl tramperleen? Beddr yet, less mekk that a treboochay.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Arkady the Abs-Slimmer
If't inny tahm you might need sum nachrull Prozac, yer bess source iz "The Passing Parade" (passingparade.blogspot.com), a burstcher-buttons-laffin blog written bah a Russian feller with refreshinly knservativ vyooz. Kazhnully, he waxiz surryuss:
"The essential psychological problem for the left is that they believe that they are the Elect, the Chosen to whom the masses owe power and deference because they want to uplift the masses whether or not those masses want uplifting in the first place, and then those same masses have the nerve to reject their betters' beneficence by electing Bushitler and his merry men. Frankly, I think the screeches we keep hearing from these folks are the shrieks of people suffering psychic hernias [LMTO!!], the wails of people born to command being told by their intellectual inferiors, no, thanks, pal, I don’t want any...
Although they would be loath to accept such a description of themselves, the modern leftist is an essentially religious figure. Marxism-Leninism is, for all its pretence to scientific truth, a Christian heresy in which the proletariat serves as both God and Man, the class struggle the struggle with sin, and the revolutionary the proletariat’s prophet. Clearly, in such a belief system, the wholesale slaughter of those embodiments of evil, the bourgeoisie and the capitalists, ceases to be a tawdry suppression of people with a legitimate political point of view, but is, instead, the necessary, even laudable, destruction of a persistent obstacle in the path of the inevitable triumph of the proletariat and the ushering in of the socialist utopia. In this sense, the revolutionary can portray his elimination of thousands of innocent people as a sort or purgatory rite [shades of Robespierre], a secular Judgment Day, if you will, in which the revolutionary separates the proletarian wheat from the bourgeois chaff, and the chaff thrown into the fire and destroyed.
Compelled to combat by a crusading (or if you prefer, jihadist) faith, the modern leftist violently attacks any belief system that might impede his path to power, ignores any fact his faith cannot explain away, and viciously slanders any person who does not agree with his belief system. There is no point in trying to engage in civil discourse with such a person since the modern leftist does not recognize your right to have an opinion that differs from his. Civil discourse can only exist where people understand that they have to agree to disagree with others; the modern leftist makes no such concession..."
Yessirree, he's raht up there with RJN in insightful incisiveness. Reckun there'd be sum way ta git them fellaz ta run fer the Oval Office?
"The essential psychological problem for the left is that they believe that they are the Elect, the Chosen to whom the masses owe power and deference because they want to uplift the masses whether or not those masses want uplifting in the first place, and then those same masses have the nerve to reject their betters' beneficence by electing Bushitler and his merry men. Frankly, I think the screeches we keep hearing from these folks are the shrieks of people suffering psychic hernias [LMTO!!], the wails of people born to command being told by their intellectual inferiors, no, thanks, pal, I don’t want any...
Although they would be loath to accept such a description of themselves, the modern leftist is an essentially religious figure. Marxism-Leninism is, for all its pretence to scientific truth, a Christian heresy in which the proletariat serves as both God and Man, the class struggle the struggle with sin, and the revolutionary the proletariat’s prophet. Clearly, in such a belief system, the wholesale slaughter of those embodiments of evil, the bourgeoisie and the capitalists, ceases to be a tawdry suppression of people with a legitimate political point of view, but is, instead, the necessary, even laudable, destruction of a persistent obstacle in the path of the inevitable triumph of the proletariat and the ushering in of the socialist utopia. In this sense, the revolutionary can portray his elimination of thousands of innocent people as a sort or purgatory rite [shades of Robespierre], a secular Judgment Day, if you will, in which the revolutionary separates the proletarian wheat from the bourgeois chaff, and the chaff thrown into the fire and destroyed.
Compelled to combat by a crusading (or if you prefer, jihadist) faith, the modern leftist violently attacks any belief system that might impede his path to power, ignores any fact his faith cannot explain away, and viciously slanders any person who does not agree with his belief system. There is no point in trying to engage in civil discourse with such a person since the modern leftist does not recognize your right to have an opinion that differs from his. Civil discourse can only exist where people understand that they have to agree to disagree with others; the modern leftist makes no such concession..."
Yessirree, he's raht up there with RJN in insightful incisiveness. Reckun there'd be sum way ta git them fellaz ta run fer the Oval Office?
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Unable Ta RlinkwishThurr Teen Uhdikshnz
Mah reedrz know ah kin't stummuck Leftizm/"Librullizm", n ah ain't got no yoos fer inny ole Hanoi-happy peaceniks, neethr, but notwithstandin, theez here galz merit a minshun, cuz they'z got the same pluck'z yerz trooly.
"NEW YORK (AP) -- Eighteen anti-war activists who call themselves the Granny Peace Brigade [majin that! Hippy geezerettes] were acquitted Thursday of disorderly conduct charges stemming from a protest outside a Times Square military recruiting center last fall."
"NEW YORK (AP) -- Eighteen anti-war activists who call themselves the Granny Peace Brigade [majin that! Hippy geezerettes] were acquitted Thursday of disorderly conduct charges stemming from a protest outside a Times Square military recruiting center last fall."
(english.alarabonline.org)
Ain't she jiss the PICSHER of smugniss? Hain't larnd a thang in her 60+ yeerz on this here plannit. So much fer wizdum bein passed on frum grammaz ta thur grankidz.
HA! Whaddm ah talkin' abowt???? They ain't even GOT no grankidz: they'z the same termagunts't slawdrd off all thur own babeez in the name o "reperduktiv 'rights' "! Turminull jinerashn.
(Noddiss the suttl editoryullahzin: on the banner on the leff, the "r" was skillfully excizd frum "raging", and the simultanyuss loss of the "g" unnerneeth mekks a word sowndin a lot like "ranties". Ewe reckun the fertawgruffer might not hav no yoos fer thurr politix neethr?)
A New Twist On "Wolf In Sheep's Clothing"
Ahr Amurrikn Leftists kood rival the Commies in political chess games. Tekk the "reverend" Phelps, of "godhatesfags" fame (er shood that reed "infummy"). Far'z ah'z kncrnd, he'z nuthin more'n a provawkuhteur, FINANCED BY THE LEFT.
"WHUUUUUUT?????" yew iz probly sayin, scratchin yer hayud. Yessiree, he'z parda thurr machinashnz ta zyklon-B the Furss Uhmindmint----which in turn iz parda thur Grand Skeem fer ultimuttlee Final Solooshnin jinyoowine Christianz. Bah sickin Phelps 'n hiz minyunz all ovr the country (speshly this latist ploy o harassin folk at fyoonurllz fer soljerz killt in Iraq), they'z now got a foot in the door fer limitin free speech, fer puttin on the first, seeminly justifahd, "binign" muzzl on the Furss Uhmindmint.
They haz ta moov real cawshussly, see, in their agenda ta render the U.S. into a FreeSpeech-rein zone. With ahr konstitooshnl hertij, they kin't do it quite az gillyteenishly az did thurr predissessrz, the Redz n the Brownz. So, whut beddr way than appeelin to the right of folks to "mourn their fallen loved ones in peace?" Issa master stroke: turnin Amurrkn patriotizm aginst the vuri folk who churrish it.
Furfetct, yew say? Fur frum it: jiss fer stardrz, knsidr the fack that this feller n hiz ilk pop up like gopherz all ovr the place across the lan. Suppozidly, he heddz up sum li'l ole podunk "Primitive" Baptiss Church in Tuppeekuh. But jiss thank bowt that fer haff a seckund: Baptiss (speshly the "Primitive" types) ain't jinrully rich enuff ta be galavantin all acrosst the whole nashn lahk 'at.
But who IZ? 'Ass raht: the Leftists. N who duz 99% of that kahnda vishuss protestin in this lan? Yew got it: them Sosho-Plitikl turmites. N who stanz ta profit moss by the fall-out frum Phelps' type shenannygunz? The Leftists agin.
No maddr how much they might try ta kammerflawzh mselvz az Right Wing Extreemiss, thurr M.O. betrayz'm. Phelps' outfit ain't nuthn but a Leftist front, and a diabawlikly klevver wun at that.
They'd do Lennin prowd.
"WHUUUUUUT?????" yew iz probly sayin, scratchin yer hayud. Yessiree, he'z parda thurr machinashnz ta zyklon-B the Furss Uhmindmint----which in turn iz parda thur Grand Skeem fer ultimuttlee Final Solooshnin jinyoowine Christianz. Bah sickin Phelps 'n hiz minyunz all ovr the country (speshly this latist ploy o harassin folk at fyoonurllz fer soljerz killt in Iraq), they'z now got a foot in the door fer limitin free speech, fer puttin on the first, seeminly justifahd, "binign" muzzl on the Furss Uhmindmint.
They haz ta moov real cawshussly, see, in their agenda ta render the U.S. into a FreeSpeech-rein zone. With ahr konstitooshnl hertij, they kin't do it quite az gillyteenishly az did thurr predissessrz, the Redz n the Brownz. So, whut beddr way than appeelin to the right of folks to "mourn their fallen loved ones in peace?" Issa master stroke: turnin Amurrkn patriotizm aginst the vuri folk who churrish it.
Furfetct, yew say? Fur frum it: jiss fer stardrz, knsidr the fack that this feller n hiz ilk pop up like gopherz all ovr the place across the lan. Suppozidly, he heddz up sum li'l ole podunk "Primitive" Baptiss Church in Tuppeekuh. But jiss thank bowt that fer haff a seckund: Baptiss (speshly the "Primitive" types) ain't jinrully rich enuff ta be galavantin all acrosst the whole nashn lahk 'at.
But who IZ? 'Ass raht: the Leftists. N who duz 99% of that kahnda vishuss protestin in this lan? Yew got it: them Sosho-Plitikl turmites. N who stanz ta profit moss by the fall-out frum Phelps' type shenannygunz? The Leftists agin.
No maddr how much they might try ta kammerflawzh mselvz az Right Wing Extreemiss, thurr M.O. betrayz'm. Phelps' outfit ain't nuthn but a Leftist front, and a diabawlikly klevver wun at that.
They'd do Lennin prowd.
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