More o the Same

"For those born after 1985, credit- and debit-card usage is much higher for day-to-day purchases than for older Americans. Many college students...lead an essentially cashless lifestyle, carrying very little money and relying heavily on their debit cards in conjunction with a few credit cards." (Is It Time To Say Goodbye to Paper Money? )

Which meenz they'z alreddy tekkn the furss step towardz a mintaliddy that woon't balk at sumpin like a chip implantid in their wrist or forehead, w/o which nobuddy could buy er sell nuthn.

Mark o the Beast, here we cum...

Chillrun o the Black Hole

Maybe yoo'z hurd bowt that thar updatid vurzhn o the wiz-kids, the "indigo kids." Thar'z a whole list of s'pozid chariktristiks, but the wun 'at most triggrd mah radar systim wuz their pyoodadiv super-spurtchull abilideez (telepathy, vizhnz o anjlz, etc.). Mindjoo, we ain't talkin bowt precoshuss chahl-mishnureez fer the Gospel. No sirree, their spurtchull "sensitivitiez" iz relatid ta the occult.

Now, if in fact they IZ radiatin with occult abilitiez, ahza wunnrin if that don in sum way tie in with whut the Bible sez bowt in the ind tahmz, the whole wurl'l do baysunce ta whud amownts to a globl Hitler.

From the histree o the Krauts, ewe kin see that messin with the occult evinchly leadz inta the uhbiss; the occult iz the Road ta Distrukshn (which iz why in strongist turmz God warnz us away frum it in His WORD).

"Grandma, What BIG Ears You Have!"

"The better to BREATHE you with, dear!" ( Biology News: Our ears once breathed) LMTO! Hayulp, ah kin't breathe!

Next, they'll be "discuvrin" 'at eyes yoozda smell 'n noziz yoozda see----oh, n mouthz yoozda walk, too.

Hooda guessed 'at one day, scientists'd evolve inta cummeedyunz?

Ozarx'll Do the Job Jiss Az Wayull

Adirondacks Seen As Dark Skygazer Paradise "TUPPER LAKE, N.Y. -- High altitude, low population and little light pollution make the Adirondacks a stargazer's dream location. Look up from New York's northern forest and with the naked eye watch a cascade of stars. With a good telescope, see the rings of Saturn in color."

Ah don need ta trekk ta the Adirondax er spin a forchoon on no tellyskope: ah kin see the color ringz rown the moon with mah nekkid eye rightcheer in mah own feelz. N cuppla yearz uhgo, on that Night of the Meteorites, ah cowntid sumpin lahk 66 shootin starz in 90 minutts---din't need no ole tellyskope fer that, neither.

Us hillbilly folk'z loss richer'n city folk----evn if ahr wayulth ain't in $$$.

How Kin It Be Froze?

Scientists find frozen methane gas deposit "Scientists have discovered an undersea deposit of frozen methane just off the Southern California coast, but whether it can be harnessed as a potential energy source is unknown. Scientists estimate that the methane trapped in frozen reservoirs could power the world for centuries."

How bowt fokussin on a more reddily 'vailubl verzhn? All they needta do iz figyer owt how ta harniss the methane gas that each ov us personully produciz...

Jis majin: we cood each o us bekum li'l mobile power-plants. No more need fer no oyl frum them cut-throwt Arrubz or thim ekwully perfidyuss Rushnz 'n Vennyzooaylunz...Sahdzzat, it'd shush the GreenFreaks, too, cuz we cood shut down moss nukleer plants.

Who'da evr thunk smelly ole fyoomz'd turn out ta be a gold mine? 'Ass kwite a alkemmikl feat! We cood almoss coyn a new sayin: "All that stanks ain't plooshn."

Ah guess ah'd beddr start eatin more beanz...

A Whopper ov a Gadjit

The PETA iz bellyachin bowt zooz keepin ellyfunts. Iss cuz thar, the pohr critterz kint git the milez 'n milez o exercize they wuz designd fer out in the wild, n which their ole karkissuz need so'z ta keep helthy.

So, guess whut? "In September zookeepers in Anchorage, Alaska said they were installing a treadmill for their one elephant."

LMTO! ROTFL! Ah mean, shore, iss a keerin jestcher, but honissly, do they thank 'at pohr ellyfunt's gonna git on or stay put on 'at kntrapshn? (Az an asahd, whut compunny mekks tredmillz fer pakeedurmz? Ah jis kin't majin no tredmill holdin up unner all that thar weight!)

Iffn he do submit ta this rejeemin, will he fahn it az sadisfyin az hiz walks owt in the steppes'd be? (Ah kint STAN walkin on a tredmill, all pint up in that draydfull indoor invironmint! No sirree, ah needz the fresh ayr, n the open spaciz, n the clowdz, n the treez, 'n the burdz. Stayin insahd iz like bein in a prizzun cell. Ah'd thank fer an ole ellyfunt, it'd be 10x wurse.)


Yew reckun if they pervahd him with a TV er a walkmun, it'll keep him frum dyin o boredum?

Jis Who Duz He Thank He **IZ**?????

Saddam, Defense Leave Trial in Protest That butcher shood be glad he din't jiss get summarily hung (which iz what shooda bin dun ta him right off the bat; he don duzzurv no trial; thar'z no dowt 'bout hiz gilt). Ah kin't buhleev that court iz puttin up with hiz shenannigunz. The way they'z treatin him with kid gluvz, they'z basikly spittin in the faciz ov all o hiz victimz.

He'z nuthin but a gone-ta-seed "Turribl 2'z." Kowtowin ta hiz tantrumz mekks a mockry o the indiskribably ghastly suffrinz o hiz viktimz. 'At court iz basikly sayin he'z more impordunt than their torcherz 'n deaths.

He'z had way too minny chanciz alreddy. They awtta tell him the gig'z up; iss tahm ta pay the piper, then drop the gillerteen on his vile neck.

Whin the blaziz iz the modern wurl goin ta tekk justice surryusslee agin?

Now They'z Evn Gone Inta MatchMakin!

Fyoo dayz ago, yew'll recall ah postid bowt how folk kin hav thur weddinz on the Concorde. Well, here's the nex step: "NEW YORK (Reuters) - Hoping to ease the nightmare of flying next to a crashing bore, a company in New York will match like-minded passengers to help make the time fly." Iss called "AirTroductions."

Ah reckun 'ass whutchoo call "product diversification."

Nuther Iggzampl of Politix As Rlijun

Berlusconi swears off sex until election He'z sweard he'd lay off gettin laid till after the votes're in. Why do that remind me of them priests in the O.T. who don hav no relations with thur wivez buffor sum impordant cerimonee? Iz he implyin elekshnz iz sakrid? Or iz he sooperstishuss, thankin that hiz abstininss'll be repaid with extry votes? (Ewe nevr know with them Cathlix...) Ah thank he'da dun beddr ta vow hisself ta skroopyooluss integritty.

But we kint ixpeck a leppurd ta chanj hiz spots...

Microsoft & Mammon

~~~Microsoft has bowed to Beijing's political censors and has banned the use of the words "freedom" and "democracy" on some areas of its Chinese internet portal, along with a host of other politically sensitive words such as "Taiwan independence" and "demonstration".~~~ (Microsoft deletes 'freedom' and 'democracy' in China)

Ain't surprahzin: all them corprashnz keer bowt iz big bucks. Ah thank ah uhgree with them folk who claymzzat the moss radikull folk on the planit iz Big Bizniss CEO'z.

Typikl Slektiv Indignashn

Here in the U.S. we'z got the long fedrull witch-hunt on cigretts; in Scotlun, the awthorteez'z haz it in fer "Haggis," the nashnl dish. All ov it's jiss strainin gnats: fact is, the idjut awthorteez hain't got the good sinse or mettle ta wage a war aginst the biggist threat ta publik hayulth: immoraliddy----spussifikly sodomy. HEVVIN ferbid they shood tekk the bull by the hornz; that'd be a violashn o thur moss hallowd PC kanunz.

The Bed o Procrusteez iz evr ravinuss.

Sum More O Mah "Ersatz"-Divination

Reedrz o mah blog knowzzat ah LUVZ annygramz cuz they cumz up with the BESS trooths:

Charles Darwin: swirled anarch; inward clasher; shrewd cranial

Darwinism: is raw mind; Swarmin id; warm id-sin

Darwinists: dirt swains; it draws sin; drains wits; is straw-din; Sir Sand-Wit; sad sin-writ; is nits' ward

Steven Gould: gets unloved

Empiricism: is imp-crime; cries "I'm imp!"

Logical Positivism: Socialist mop vigil; Voila! Go simplistic!

Free Laptop Fer Pohr Skoolkids

UN lends backing to the $100 laptop They'z got a program goin where folk kin donate $100 ta buy a hand-cranked laptop fer 3rd Wurl kids. Franklee, ah thank they'd be beddr off with sum good solid books.

But ah'z wunnrin: yew thank ah cood kwalify fer one o thim laptops? (Iss hand-cranked, so it don need no lectricity.) Aftr all, ah nevr dun finished more'n furss grade; ah'z whatchoo might call a "grade-schooler on hold."

Hittin the Nail On the Hayud.

In her op-ed piece Political footballs and constitutional law, Leftist Rosa Brooks kumz right out'n affurmz whut ah'z sed a cuppla tahmz here at this blog: "And this, perhaps, is the best I can offer my students: the suggestion that in the United States today, constitutional interpretation is best understood as a form of theology rather than law."

Mahndjoo, she ain't sayin the courts haz been basin' the law on the Big 10C. No sirree, anythang but! Rathr, she'z uhdmittin 'at Leftizm iz a relijun, plain & simpl. Which ixplaynz the High Preess additood o them thar "judgiz" fer the lass 40 yeerz. Ahz remahndid o ISAIAH 5:20: "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"

A More Suryuss Darkniss

Researcher: Pollution limits sun in China O course, 'ass worrisome. But how bowt a much worse form o darkniss 'at's smuthrd Chiner fer dekaydz?

Iss called "Commyoonizm."

Kint Mekk Gold Owtta Sand

"GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip - Thousands of activists from Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas' Fatah Party demonstrated in the West Bank and Gaza Strip on Friday, burning abandoned cars, shooting in the air..." No maddr where they goze, them types alweez indz up practicin thur murrawder wayz: whether iss in the Gaza Strip, er France, er Jermunny...

Jis tell me WHY ahr moss vinrubbl leedrz iz so knvinsst 'at this ilk iz soodubl muhturyull fer a dimmocrussy.

Exportin Infekshn

"HOUSTON - Eight New Orleans gang members who came to Houston after Hurricane Katrina were arrested in connection with 11 recent killings and other violent crimes, police said Friday. "

That wuz todully perdiktubl. Too bayud Katrina warn't like The Delooj, wipin owt ALL the scum.

Ainit jiss uhnuthr iggzampl o whud ah wuz luhmintin, that evil'z jiss abowt indistruktibl? Ah reckun that ole hurrykane cooda wiped out more o the dregz 'n leff the decint folk alahv.

**SEE** Whudd Ah Mean????

3 poss uhgo, ah wuz discussin the pernishussnuss ov synkruttizm. Wayull, case in point:

"A Zimbabwean court has charged two twin brothers with indecent exposure for walking around in goatskin loincloths...The twins claim they received a divine order to shed conventional apparel for goatskin flaps and abandon the comfort of their family home in a posh suburb to sleep in a chicken run."

On the surfuss, 'at sowndid fer all the wurl lahk the sorda thang't happind ta Hozaya 'n Jurrahmya: God tole Hozaya ta go fetch hizself a whore fer a wife. (He did!!! Read all abowt it in ch.1:2.) He also tole Jurrahmya ta git a linen waistcloth n bury it fer a while n thin retrieve it, all holey 'n useliss(13:1-8). In both theze rathr bizarre casiz, the prophit wuz spozdta serv az sumpin ov a livin purrubl.

But the crooshl differnce between them 'n the Aferkn twinz iz: "The twins... admitted to smoking marijuana..." Them twinz sownz lahk new bleevrz: they hain't been growndid in the trooth yet; they'z still got the dodder sack o thur pre-knverdid lahf stuck to'm; they ain't solidly rootid in sown doktrin n practice yet. They'z 1/4 wheat 'n 3/4 chaff.

Fer wun thang, they hain't lurnd yet 'at God don give no airborne commandz no more; insted, He speaks thru Hiz WORD. "Any one who goes ahead and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God; he who abides in the doctrine has both the Father and the Son."(2 John 9)

Secondly, Paul imphasiziz 'at him 'n hiz buddiez wuz "not acting deceitfully or falsifying the word of God, but by the open declaration of the truth we commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. " Nodice: unlike the twinz, he don yooz no rooziz or gimmix, no trix er machinashnz. Jiss straight-forwurd prezntashn o the WORD.

N how do them twinz mezhur up on this score?: "Show yourself in all respects a model of good deeds, and in your teaching show integrity, gravity, and sound speech that cannot be censured..." (TITUS 2:7-8) Thar'z a echo o this in 2 TIMOTHY 2:21: "If anyone purifies himself from what is ignoble, then he will be a vessel for noble use, consecrated and useful to the Master of the house, ready for any good work." Smokin marywanner n runnin uhrown nekkid diskwalifiezzem boyz frum bein a vessel fer nobl yoos. When they cleenz up thur act 'n growz ta be machoor bleevrz, they kin try agin.

T'ain't fer nuthin 'at the WORD warnz aginst new bleevrz lahk them twinz gittin inta leedrship: "He must not be a recent convert, or he may be puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil." (1 TIMOTHY 3:6) Yew might be scratchin yer hayud, "Whuss 'puffed up with conceit' got ta do with it?" Wayull, cross-refernce yer Bible: in ROMANS 12:3, we iz tole, "I bid every one among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith which God has assigned him. " The context iz spurtchool giffs 'at God passes out ta folk.

In uther wurdz, them twinz wuz thankin too highly ov themselvz; they reckun'd they wuz powerful oaks, whin in fack, they wuzn't nuthin more'n 3" seedlinz needin ta spind a lot more tahm gittin ferdilized at the feet o the Master.

FerGIT Smog! Cigretts Iz the New Anathema!

N smokrz iz gonna be the new lepperz. Mindjoo, ah hain't nevr been abl ta STAND the stench o cigrett smoke (don unnerstan why folk start in with that idyotik habit in the furss place). But ah thank this is settin a danjruss precidint: Calif. Says Secondhand Smoke a Pollutant

Now, ewe jis watch: cigretts iz gonna git owtlaw'd. They'z gonna be the targits o this krishendoin witch hunt. But jis lahk with Prohibishn, it won wurk.

Yew rekkun folk'll start smokin in the cattycommz?

The Latist Kyoor Fer Stage Fright

Dread public speaking? Have a shag first

Az yoozhwull, ah don unnerstan why a body hazta rezort ta copyoolatin fer everthang. Iz koeetuss the cyoorall fer whudevr aylz yew? Izzit the wunner-drug of the Post-60's? Izzit the Ultimutt Ansser ta all life's problimz?

If thass really troo, thin how kum thar'z so much trubbl n poverdy in placiz lahk Afrikr n Indja?

"Chrislam" Might Be Worse Than Islamicizm

Evr since 9/11, ahz bin thankin 'at the Izlamicists'll conquer the Wess by bringin wussy Westurn leedrz ta thur kneez in the face o increasin terrorizm. (See summa mah prevyuss intreez.)

But In Africa, Islam and Christianity are growing - and blending made me thank thar might be uhnuthr way't Izlam indz up subdooin the Wess: iss called synkritizm. Mindjoo, ahz all fer doin yer bess ta liv peessubbly with yer nayburz, evn if they'z got a differnt fayth'n yerz. (Ahz wrote before bowt the fack 'at Jezus nevr tawt yoozin the sword ta furthr the fayth.) BUT!!!! NOT at the price o syncruttizm! Iss lahk this: yew tekk sum delishusslee pyoor glashr spring-waddr n add evn wun drop o tyfuss er kolra to it, then it ain't safe ta drink no more.

Ovr n ovr the WORD iggzorts us ta flee evn the slightist tinj o fawls doktrin. Whin Jezus had them talks with them Furseez, He din't meet'm 1/2way; no sirree, He cut'm to the kwik. He din't fudj on the trooth, but applied the Scripturez the way the Father discribezzum in the O.T.: "Is not My word like as a fire?...and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?" (JEREMIAH 23:29)

Yew don play footsiez with falsehood, cuz jis lahk ah wrote 4 posts down, the tinyist speck o mold leff uncheckt'll rooin the whole batch o fruit. T'ain't fer nuthin 'at The WORD constuntly warnz n iggzorts His peepul ta HOLD FAST ta the trooth, versiz lahk:

"Behold, I am against them that...cause My people to err by their lies." (JEREMIAH 23:32) "He that hath My word, let him speak My word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat?" (ibid, 23:28) "But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies..." (2 Peter 2:1)

It jiss tekks wun li'l spark ta set off a konflugrashn, wun li'l germ ta trigger a eppidemmik. Doktrinull hygeen'z evn more crooshul'n the fisikl kahnd.

Ov Primate Policin' and Proto-Pohrnawgruffy n Sech

Whin ewe readz ardikklz lahk theze, yoo iz almoss timptid ta buhleev 'at Darwinizm had it right:

Like Humans, Chimps Bow to Social Pressure

Monkey Police Provide Social Stability

Monkeys Pay for Prurient Pictures

Chimps' Sense of Justice Found Similar to Humans'

Monkey Business Is Fair Play

Lessunz Frum the Pandaz?

Thai pandas mate for first time It sed 'at them thar pandaz wuz pluttawnik the furss 2 yeerz, cuz pandaz ain't got no strong matin' urjiz. 'At made me start wunnrin: mebbe ah din't knsidr all the possibilideez in mah lass poss.

Yew thank mebbe the Krauts iz lahk the pandaz? Mebbe they'z got the 'foreminshunnd "TV-in-the-bedroom Syndrome" (see mah poss "Ah Knowd It Wuz Good Fer Sumpin!" 1/22/06).

Irregardliss, seemz ta me 'at them pandaz haz a lot beddr sinse than moss hyoomunzzeze dayz: standurd perceedjer iz ta jump in bayud soon'z yoo iz uhtraktid ta summun.

Wuss the wurl kum to whin animulz iz wizer'n Homo "Sapienz"?

Izzeze Folk A Indanjurd Speeceez?

German population continues to decline

This iz shorely ahronik, knsidrin (a) that ole Hitlr rewardid big famleez and (b) the Krauts wuz the wunz't rootid owt the Jewz over thar on'nat contnunt. Ahz wunnrin if on sum sorda deep levl, thar might jis be a self-hatrid buccuz o them 12 yeerza imfummee? Izzis a thru-the-back-door workin owt of the principl that "the sinz o the father'll be vistid on the sonz"? Mebbe iffn thar had bin a more widesprayud repintunce fer wurshippin that Brown-shirtid Hangmun, them folk woon't be suffrin frum a festerin, sooissahdul deep-guilt?

Ah thank it ain't good fer the wurl whin a dynamik, industryeeous folk peterz owt. We needz more o thim types ta cownerakt the demmergraffik swampin by the leech-folk. Ta put it bluntly, ah thank't the Krauts, the Japunneze n the Jewz awtta have a minimum o 10 kidz per cuppl.

Now, watch me git a delooj o hate mayl uhkyoozin me o bein racist. Ah say: call a spade a spade. Too bad if yew P.C. folk owt thar kint stomuck steak 'n hazta gorj yerselvz on Cotton Candy.

Ah Hates Conundrumz

Reedrz o this here blawg knowzzat ah haz the greatist rspeck fer the Creaddur-Redeemr God Who cum down here in ahr frame n suffered n died fer us. But evn so, ah'z got lossa kweschunz fer Him bowt thangz down here 't jiss don make sinse. Case in point:

"SALT LAKE CITY - A scorpion lived for 15 months without food or water inside the plaster mold of a dinosaur fossil, breaking free only when a scientist broke open the mold."

"Bed bugs can live over a year without eating and withstand a wide range of temperatures from nearly freezing to almost 113 degrees Fahrenheit."

How cum evil iz more hardy'n good? Iffn ah'd made the yoonivurse, ah'da made GOOD more doorubl'n evil. After all, the WORD tells us plain n clear that He hates evil 'n LOVES good. So how cum, thin, bad stuff perlifrates n the Good iz ferever gittin skwasht er snufft owt? How cum one moldy orunj haz the power ta todully rooin the ress o the batch? How cum iss not t'uthr way arown?

Talk Bowt A "Cold Reception"!

Hello Kitty robot receptionist debuts in Japan "For just under 50,000 yen ($430) a month, a fraction of the cost of a human temp, the PeopleStaff agency will dispatch Hello Kitty Robo, a robotic receptionist capable of sensing a visitor's presence, greeting him or her and holding simple conversations.

The Nagoya-based agency is also offering the services of Ifbot, an elderly-care robot that chats and poses riddles and arithmetical problems to train the brain and help avoid dementia. Spaceman-like Ifbot, which also quizzes people about their health, is aimed at hospitals and old peoples' homes."

Seem'z we'z gittin closer ta FAHRENHEIT 451 every day.

Thin agin, knsiderin' the vapidity ov a lodda FOM'z, ah guess this ain't that differnt.

Ah Alweez Knowd Thar Wuz Sumpin Fishy Bowt Purrfyoom

Bowt a week uhgo, thar wuzzat case of the whale fown in the Temz Rivr in Lundun. 'At wuz bizarre enuff, but jis now, ah stumbld on this: West Coast whale 'vomit' could be worth millions :: ABC West Coast SA. WHUT?????? Ah do buhleev 'ass the moss intreegin headlahn ah'z evr rayud.

Mindjoo, ah'd hurd bowt yoozin whalez' teeth ta mekk thangz like corsit stays, hoops fer wimmin'z skurts, framez fer hats, fanz, umbreller ribz, n fishin rodz. Sidezzat, thur blubbr yoozta be valyoobl fer fuel in lamps. N ov course, dung kin be turnd inta profit as ferdlahzr.

But **MILLYUNZ** fer sum ole VOMIT?????

Shore nuff, iss troo: whale vomit---the teknikkl term iz "ambergris"-----"is used as a fixative for perfumes and, in some countries, as an aphrodisiac." Majin that! Ah rekkun whalez iz the moss recyklubbl animullz on the planit.

Ah'z wunnrin: ewe thank thar might be sum hiddn profit in cat's hair-bawlz?

Who Wooda Guessed That Cardyak Uhress Cood Be Binifishl?

Blind woman regains her sight after heart attack Kin ewe buhLEEV that? She'd bin blahn fer **25** yeerz! Iss a wunner she din't hav uhnuthr hard uhttack whin she realized she cood see. Jis goez ta show agin that thim scientists hain't evn skratcht the surfuss o how the body wurks.

Now, if ah cood jist hav a hard uhttack that'd make me 50 yeerz yungr...

Ardifishl Labullz

"NEW YORK -- Episcopalians from a church where the late Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall worshipped are asking their denomination to name him a saint."

Ah'z nevr had no yoos fer this "canonization" bizniss, cuz in the Bible, all beleevrz iz uhdressed az "saints."

This Time It Ain't No Parrutt

Yew rmimbr the gal who stuffed a parrutt in her bra? Wayull, this time, iss a case o Woman Carrying $47K in Bra at Airport Sues . The fedrull agints thawt it wuz drug munny n tukk it away frum her, but it wuz frum sellin her bizniss n sum land.

Where'z all them Feminaziz who'z ferevr bellowin bowt how the govmint ain't sposdta be pokin arown in ahr bedroomz? Wayull, then, evn less should them FedMeddlrz be messin with no wummun'z bra.

Far'z ah'z knsernd, ewe haz the Constitushnull Right To Pad Yer Bra Inny Way Yoo Want.

Prize Fer Gluttnee

Kobayashi Downs 100 Pork Buns in 12 Minutes

Ah reckun fer him ta be abl ta manij that, he muss hav a massiv case o booleemyer.

Wass the Hitch?

Vurryashnz on the theme o weddin on the Concorde: Pa. Couple Weds at McDonald's Drive-Thru

Iffn yew git murried at a fass-food place, duzzat mean yer murrij iz gonna git knsoomd jiss az fass? Or duzzit mean yer murrij won't have much substunss?

Mebbe it jiss meenz ewe iz stingy.

Homeless With $60K

Cops Find $60K on Woman Sleeping in Store This here 87 yr. ole wummun waz snoozin ferever in a recliner at a Big Lots store. Ah'z puzzled: how kin summun be homeliss when they'z in (legitimutt) pzeshn o $60K? (A soshl wurkr referrd ta her az a "female Scrooge.") N besahdz, whoever HURDa trottin arown with $60K on yer purrsun????? 'Ass like ASKIN ta be robbed. She shore iz lucky she hain't had that happin to her yet.

Ah'd invaht her down ta mah place fer a spell, but ah reckun summun 'at rich woon't wanna hav nuthin ta do with no hillbilly granny.

Ah'z Doo Fer a FaceLiff

Wayull, a verbul face liff, innyway. Evidintly, Boomerz thank the word "granny" haz too minny rinklz, so they iz tryin ta find New Names for Granny . They'z got a list o all kindza differnt wayz ta say gramma 'n grampa in differnt langwijiz (wun gransun evn callz his granny "Bella"!). Ah thank my fevert iz the Norweejun wun: "bestemamma" (altho "bestepappa" woonta fit mah ole man uhTALL!).

Yew know, ah kin jis see the day cummin whin the P.C. meddlrz'll add "grandma" n "grandpa" ta thur lista banished wurdz. It'll be a "hate crime" ta call innybuddy that, cuz it's "discriminating based on age." It'll be in the same categawree'z the N-wurd.

(Don't) Run Fer Cuver!

Sleep tight..... Ah wuz appawld ta read 'at bedbugz iz mekkin a cum-back. The fishl line iz that iss cuzza all the global travl. 'Ass nuthin but P.C. rubbish: we'z had globl travel fer dekadez but we din't have no bedbug trubblz. Iss cuzza the TYPES o folk we'z been lettin inta ahr bordrz. 40 yeerza lettin all the flotsum 'n jetsum ov the wurl inta ahr lan iz tekkin iss toll.

Anuthr wunnerful rezult we kin thank Dimmercrat policiez fer.

Revinj O The (Almoss) Dayud Gator

A gator bit back! (Python Bursts After Trying to Eat Gator) "The snake was found with the gator's hindquarters protruding from its midsection." LMTO! Kintchoo jiss SEE it? Ah reckun iss whatchoo might call a "turminull herpitolojicull hiccup."

Ahz wunnrin, tho: how duzzis fit in with "yew are whutchoo eat"?

More PC Gibberish

PC Words: Failure Becomes Deferred Success

Orwell'd have a hayday with that thar. "Failure" gits rebaptizd az "Deferrd Suksess." (But whut if it don nevr transform inta suksess?) So az not ta offind folk with brayn disorderz, "brainstorm" becumz "thought shower," which ta me sownz more like "brain-washin" than innythang else. A thawt showr (ahz tryin mah durndist ta vizhlize how that'd wurk!) wood be right in ordr, ah reckun, fer sumbuddy who'z imbibed too much pohrnawgruffy. At the same tahm, "thought shower" bringz ta mahnd a erupshn o meteorites---like yer brain iz havin its own star-burst show. N if a terrurist iz a "misguidid criminull," thin ah spoze a murderer iz a "misguidid mortishn," n a cownerfiddr iz a "misguidid forger," n a rapist iz a "misguidid misogynist," n a arsunnist iz a "misguidid pyromaniak" n a con-artist is a "misguided flim-flam man."

Ah thank them P.C. folk iz jis plum misguidid moronz.

Hi-Tech Pied Piper Inversion

You'z hurd bowt that ole Pied Piper, who by playin myoozik only kids kood hear, manijed ta lead off a whole town'z youngsterz. Wayull, thar'z a gadjit out that duz the oppuzzit: it dispelz rowdy teenz. ('Mosquito' Fights Rowdy Teenage Noise ) Seemzzat only folk under 30 kin hear the "mosquidow" cuz older folk kint hear hi-frekwincy sownz.

Remahnz me o that parkin lot 'at yoozd classicull myoozik ta repel skateboarderz.

Feminaziz, Yew Wuz Wrong!

Ah jiss dun rayud a fassinatin ardikkl: Male Monkeys Prefer Toy Cars, Females Like Dolls "Like little boys, some male monkeys moved a toy car along the ground. Like little girls, female monkeys closely inspected a doll's bottom. Males also played with balls while females fancied cooking pots. Both were equally interested in neutral objects such as a picture book and a stuffed dog." Thar'z no way ta blame inny o that on upbringin!

"Human evolution has created two different types of brains designed for equally intelligent behavior...females of both species prefer dolls because evolution programmed them to care for infants. " Eyeball them 2 verbz thar fer a momint: 'ccordin ta Darwinists, evilooshn is totally impurrsnull, consistin of blind nachrull selekshn and random chance. Yet them 2 colored vurbz impliez intelligince n will. Seems ta me, lapsin inta that kinda talk jis goes ta show that no maddr how hard yew try, no maddr how much yew claym ta believe in evilooshn, yew kint crowd out the fack of DESIGN. Iss etched inta the vuri fabric of the yoonivurs.

Now, o course, whethr or not yew kin ixtraplate frum munkeez ta hyoomunz iz uhnuthr ball o wax.

Ah **KNOWED** It Wuz Good fer SUMpin!!!

Not a fyoo tahmz in mah hunnert 'n four yeerz on this here planit, ahz been calld a "fat-head." Wayull, 'cordin ta recint resurch, 'ass a good thang ta have.

"[I]n women, whether it was verbal or non-verbal intelligence, brain size was positively correlated -- that means the bigger the brain, the better they did...[B]rain size decreased in men over the years -- from age 25 to 80 -- but age hardly affected brain size in women."(CTV.ca Study links brain size, intelligence)

Potentially Prickly Potty

Summun decidid ta mekk off with a fancy-doodl potty seat. He wannid ta sell it fer $2000+. It wuz a new-fangld invinshn: yew kood kntrol it's timpracher, mekk it nahss 'n warm on a cole winner mornin. But thar wuz jis wun li'l hitch: "it combined electricity and water, a potentially deadly situation for someone sitting on it." (Man Steals High-Tech Toilet Seat)

Ah deklayuh, ahz remahndid o them vursiz in the Bible, "Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith...Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith...Better is a little with righteousness, than great wealth with wrongdoing." (PROVERBS 15:16 & 17 & 16:8)

Ahz alweez sed all that modrn plummin wuz nuthin but a noosins; gimme a outhowse inny day. Thank o all the idvanijiz: nobuddy'l steal it, yew ain't depindint on no city sanytayshn, it don git cloggd up, yew don havta keep it snowy white, it don stink up the ress o the howse 'n yew kin save on air-freshner costs (iss got a built-in air freshner---jiss leev the door opin), n iff'n lahk me yew'z bin yoozin wun fer 104 yeerz, yer boddum'z tuff'z lethr n don need no heetid potty seat. Sidezzat, yew kin save lossa $$$ on toylit pepper bah simply yoozin ole noozpepperz or mayl-order catalogz. N whin ah'z run outta thim, ahz evn bin knowd ta rezort ta big ole leevz. Got plinny ov'm rown the howse.

Bird-brained Avian-napping

Woman Arrested for Stuffing Bird Into Bra

Whin ah furss saw them headlinez, ah thawt she wuz mebbe reskyooin a baby bird 'n keepin him warm (misdirectid mutturnull instinx); er mebbe she wannid ta prove ta her troo-luv that he made her heart fluddr real bayud.

Turnz out, she stowl 'at parrutt so't she kood trade him fer a CarMan Geeyr buggy. Knowin parrutts lahk ah do, ahz uhmaz'd 'at thar ole hawkbill din't defind hisself by chompn her real good.

Ah reckun it musta bin a male parrutt...

Speekin O Myoozeeumz....

The Peta should put this man in thur Hall O Fame: in the basemint of his fyoonrull home, a undertekkr haz startid a "Roadkill Myoozeeum." (Land Line Magazine - December 2005 [scroll down 4 article])

Nuthin lahk rezurrektid rodints...But ahz wunnrin: lahk it wuz tryin ta do with the Liverpool myoozeeum ah wrote abowt in mah prevyuss poss, iz the U.N. goin ta horn in on this feller'z hobby 'n put hiz innerprahz unner the grown?

Big Brother'z Oppozin a Myoozeeum

"A PLAN for a futuristic museum on the waterfront in Liverpool has been condemned by United Nations advisers for potentially ruining a World Heritage site...'To seek to erect a fourth building of such architectural pretension shows a fundamental misreading of the precious nature of the existing group of buildings and the rationale for the inscription of the World Heritage site.' "

"Architectural pretension"? How bowt that thar commint bein a colossl iggzampl o verbl pretinshn?

N jiss whin did we eleck the U.N. ta be the "Globull Dept. of Buildin Purmits"?

Monarchs vs. Lumberjacks

Mindjoo, ah luv buddrfliez, but still, talk about strainin gnats...

"Some of the most heavily armed park rangers in the world (carrying AR-15 and Galil automatic rifles and pump-action shotguns and protected by body armor) patrol 124,000 acres west of Mexico City, to protect monarch butterflies. The rangers keep loggers out of the area..." (Armed rangers protect butterflies in Mexico - Americas - MSNBC.com)

Jiss one more iggzampl o the inaniteezzat result whin ewe let ecofreeks git inny kahnda powr.

Ov Starz 'n Sollytood

Twinkle, twinkle little star "Astronomers using the Hubble Space Telescope have revealed something just as constant as the North Star: a hidden companion."

Majin that! Seemzzat evn starz git lonely.

Now we know why thar'z so minny ov'm in the sky.

Tekkin the Byte Outta Crime

Mexicans urged to trade guns for computers "Mexicans are being invited to exchange their weapons for computers under a quirky new idea to curb rampant crime in Mexico City." HUMPH! Zzif tekkin a weppun away frum sumbuddy'd cure thur criminality. Besidez, why reward bad behavyer?

On t'other hand, a free compyooder?!?!? If ah cood jis manij ta hawl mah ole bonez down thar, I do hav sevrul retahrd antykyoo shootin ironzzat haz been gathrin dust'n rust in mah shed...

Of Moonshine N Long Needlz

"Ribs, purls and beer at NY men's knitting night" Them ribs ain't the kindjoo eat; iss talkin bowt the ribbin at the end o yer sleeve or at the boddum of yer sweddr.

Ah knowzzat long ago, it wuz the Irish fishermin who dun the knittin; thur wivez jiss spun it up fer'm. So, thar'z a histree ov men knittin. Still, ah kint imajin, say, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Gregry Peck sittin thar knittin away.

Bud it gimme a idee: ah cood mebbe bring in a teensy bit o extry cash by givin still lessons. Nope, not az in paintin; ahz talking bowt the still ah hidez frum the revenooerz. Folk cood larn all bowt howta build n tind one. Majin that: ah might evn git famuss; mebbe Martha Stewer'd hav me on her show.

Only hitch: whud if a undercuvver revenooer show'd up at one o mah classiz 'n dun gone 'rrestin' me right then 'n thar?

Guess I'll jiss havta keep still on the subject, after all.

How I Got Ta Be 104

Simpl: ahz had a luv affair with chocklit fer dekadez.

Secret to Chocolate's Heart Benefits Found

Majin that! Thar'z akshly a uhdikshn 'at's good fer yer hayulth! So, ewe thank mebbe next, they'll start perscribin chocklit fer heart patients?...'At might not be so good: it'd probly mean no more ovr the cownner chocklit, and extratrrestrull priciz.

Blessing the Bytes

Japanese businessmen hold a service aimed at fending off viruses and glitches for their computers in a purification ceremony conducted by a Shinto priest according to Shinto rituals at Kanda Myojin shrine in Tokyo January 6, (2004.REUTERS/Haruyoshi Yamaguchi)

LMTO! Ahz hurda rabbiz blessin manyoofacshurd food, but this beats all, ah do declayuh!

Ewe really thank them virusiz n wurmz iz gonna be skeerd off by sum ole Shinto blessin? Pleez help me pick mah ole bones up off the floor!

Deep Sea Politix?

Rare right whales make surprise visit to Texas coast

Ahz stunned! Ah din't know't evn whalez haz plitikl leaninz! (Signifikntly nuff, they din't mekk a surprahz vizit ta the Massichoositts er Kinnetticutt coast.) But they seemz ta hav the same problim az hyoomunz: right-thinkin onez iz gettin' rare...

Sech a Princely Offer

Bin Laden warns of new US attacks "We do not mind offering a long-term truce based on just conditions that we will stand by." Wayull, now, aintchoo jiss the moss grashuss gennlmun on the planit. Hold on while mah ole bonez attimpt a mecca-esque prostrashn.

Ahz sed fer a long tahm that evinchooly---with jiss theze kahnda taktix---them Muzlim Murawdrz iz gonna bring the Westrn leedrz ta thur kneez, n thin the whole wurl'll be plunged inta the bluddy darkniss o Shari'a. Ah hope ah'z wrong, but judjin bah the squiddiniss o Western leedrz' rekurdz, ahz afeard iss a troo profissy.

Ah'm All Fer It

While back, ah wuz readin a poss at a forum by sum swaggrin Leftist who wuz propozin 'at thar awtta trooly be a Secession o the "Blue" states frum the "Red" wunz (ah alweez fahnd it ahronik 'at the Leftists yewsurpt the term "Blue" fer thurselvz 'n tarrd the knservativ states with the epithet "Red"---more newspeak). Thin, he buggun braggin bowt all the uhdvannijiz the "Blue" states'd hav ovr t'utherz. Yew kood jiss see him rubbin hiz handz in gloatin glee.

Only problim iz, he left out one crooshl item: in anuthr jinrashn, the "Blue" states'd look jis like New Orleenz, namely, choklit. Why? Bucuz the choklits iz the only wunz reproducin. Uhmungst thur own kahnd, the Leftist Bleach-Boyz'z been pushin Herodizm 'n burth kntrol fer 40 yeerz, sech that soon, thur kahnd'll be az ixtinkt az the dinosawrz. Now, knsidrin that moss of the choklits hazta rely on the Bleach-Boyz' group ta keep'm afloat, whatchoo reckun them choklits iz gonna do whin thur patrunz iz ixtinkt?

Simpl: thar'll be unuthr "Civil" War. This time, it'll be all about FORCIN the "Blue" States back inta the Yoonyun. "The better to replenish our kitty, dears!" Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.

Thin agin, with the Bleach-Boyz' luv o Kevorkianz, n with the overwhelmin immoraliddy n drug-yoos o the "Blue" States makin a perfect feastin grown fer AIDS, mebbe them terrortoreez'd tranzform frum bein the Urbun Jungl to bein wun vast Death Valley.

They'z alreddy that way culchrully.

Sum God-Talkerz Iz More Ekwull'n Otherz

The Mayor of New Orleenz'z bin spowtin' off:

"This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be...This city will be chocolate at the end of the day...Surely God is mad at America. Surely he's not approving of us being in Iraq under false pretense."

Ah reckun he warn't talkin about no albino choklit. Mmmhmmnn, yup, the city was "choklit" before Katrina, durin Katrina (muddy waterz!) and after. But iss a bitter choklit, n of the lowest calibr. Deffnitlee not Ghirardelli er Lindt.

N doncho jiss LUV the God-talk? When a cuppla knservutiv voyciz early on vinchurd a guess that perhaps the distrukshn of N.O. wuz God's wrath on the Sodomites that cavort thar in colossal lewdniss, ewe shooda HURD the brouhaha frum the Left. Yew'da thunk the ole Hebrew profits wuz rendin their clothez bowt the goldn-calf perfiddy o them Izrullites. But jiss lahk with MLK, iss OK fer Leftists ta use God's name [in vain]. They'z got special passiz ta hevvin, donchoo know.

Speshly if they iz choklit Leftists.

Proof's In the Puddin

"Russian mothers plead for sons to stay in Guantanamo"

N if MLK's "Dream" continyooz, one day, Amurrkn mommaz might ask fer the same kinda thang.

Ainit amazin the way the world-over "Librulz"/Leftists iz experts in promotin putrefakshn?

Appropriate Locale

"Police in Columbus, Ohio say they have broken up a prostitution ring that operated out of a junkyard."

Wayull, all ah kin say ta that iz: yew kin't akkyoozzem hussiez o false advertizin. They'z sellin junk, all right.

Nuthin New Unner the Sun

Headline: "Vampire Seeks Governor's Job."

Why izzat newz? The awthorteez haz bin suckin our blood fer dekadez.

What's Inside?

Wun o the fine rezults o "Civil" Rights wuz blockbusting. Ah put that wurd thru the wringer n got sum good stuff:

bolting bucks [shore did: the workin folk leff, 'n the welfare freeloaderz streamed in]

gin-stuck blob [az in booze addicts lyin in the gutter]

When ah intered "blockbuster," the shekker hit a bull's eye:

block brutes

Shakin Out the Trooth

While the blind iz worshippin at the false altar today, ah tukk MLK's name and put it thru the grinder---the anagram shekker, that iz:

truthlike-ring man

lamenting irk-hurt

remaking truth nil

renaming-truth ilk

germinal think rut [yup, hiz wuz the seed o 40 yeerz o blind reverse discriminashn]

rum altering think

a thin, kurt gremlin

tin murk earthling

runt ilk nightmare [irenee: in mah prevyuss post, I dun wrote about his "dream" bein a nightmare]

lurking hate mintr

lurking hitter man

remarking Hun tilt

true tinkling harm

Mali grunt "thinker"

that lurking miner [wuss he mine? TROUBLE.]

Kremlin-aright nut

Kremlin "truth"-gain

Hiz Highness, the Hayud Republikn In Dimmercrat Drag

Said 'at MLK's dream wuz "not yet completed."

Ah'll say it ain't! The nightmare goes on 'n on 'n on: Urbun Jungl frum sea ta shinin sea. N, az ah minshund down a few posts back (see right before "More Sowellizmz"), the aftermath o Katrina in New Orleenz concintratid the nightmare.

Iss a shame MLK's "Dream" din't die with him.

Beddr Way Ta Tekk Off

Russia lets cosmonauts drink - but they musn't go into orbit

Now we knowz why they'z called kosmerNAWTs: cuz they may nawt RUI ('ass "Rockit Unner the Inflooince," in case yew wuz wunnrin).

Ah don need no fancy space ship ta go inta orbit: ah jiss sneak ovr ta mah still n tekk me a sip er 2, and BINGO! Fasser'n ewe kin say "Revenooerz!," ahz way out thar! Lot cheepr 'n them kumbustibl Challinjr-thangz.

N besahdz, ah woon't wanna wear wunna them thar durjubbl Michelin Man suits.

The Jetset On Cloud 9?

Yew'z hurda weddinz in the park n sech, but how bowt THIS?

"Only available at Manchester Airport, a very limited number of weddings can be held on board Concorde each year. Concorde G-BOAC, the flagship of the Concorde fleet, is now an approved licensed premises for civil wedding ceremonies."

So ah'z wunnrin: kin yew trust a vow like that? After all, iss up in the air and it risks a crash landin!

An Odd Menage A Trois?

News: "A study by an Italian sexologist has found that couples who have a TV set in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don't."

Well, now, if yew (lahk me) thawt TV wuz fer the burdz, thank agin; iss akshully yoosful fer wun thang: birth kuntroll. Not only that, bud iss a cheeper 'n more engagin' form o profillaktik than condumbs, spurmicides 'n them rubber UFO's (Yootruss-Fillin Objects).

Here T'iz

Iffn ewe rayud mah Janyoourry 2nd poss that's got the "Neil Postman..." headin, yew'll recall't it sed: "they'z jiss ta deturmin (suppozidly) where ewe stan spurchoolee (in Hiz fold or outta Hiz fold or inbetween [zzat what they mean by "limbo"?])"

Wayull, ah warn't jiss mekkin that up, cuz that ole famuss mathimuttishn, Blaziz Pascal, sed the same thing:

"There are only three types of people; those who have found God and serve him; those who have not found God and seek him, and those who live not seeking, or finding him. The first are rational and happy; the second unhappy and rational, and the third foolish and unhappy."

More Louzy "Leedrship"

Town may make carrying condoms mandatory The "town" is Bogota, n the folk who'z affectid iz everybuddy ovr 14...."Those caught empty-pocketed could pay a fine of $180 or take a safe sex course."

How bowt a rigorous education in livin salubriously insted o salaciously. Iss spelled "self-control" and "monogamy."

"If you carry a condom, chances are you'll use it during the day. It's not going to be there forever." This purrl o wizdumb frum the man who proposed the idiotic ordinance in the first place. May ah remindjoo, Suh, that more important than the efemrull condumb iz yer fleetin life: ewe won't be here ferever, neither. Iss called livin accordin ta Hiz Dezign, insted o wastin yer life away n thin indin up in Hell.

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (PSALM 90:12)

Contortin While Cavortin

"Man rescued from washer SYDNEY, Australia — A man had to be rescued after becoming wedged in a washing machine while playing a game with his children, a newspaper reported Tuesday. The man waited for an hour with his knees pressed to his chest before being rescued."

Either he wuz a pigmee (with a brain ta match) or he haz a black belt in Yoga.

Anuthr Useliss Jellyfish

Somewhere uhlong the lahn, Mr. Alito got infected by the plitikl drag bug. We don need men lahk him who hain't got the guts ta stan fer whuss right when the screws git tightend. Ah suggess 'at the Elliphunt Party get Mr. Santorum in thar: he'z got a spine o steel. We needzzat sorta leaderz.

So Now Whut?

News: "U.S.: 'Serious Escalation' in Iran Developing Nuclear Bomb' "

We'z gonna be lucky if all o this don't snowbawl inta WW3. (In which case, ah dunno if mah Mideevul Fortriss'll do the job.)

Plitikl Masked Ball

Ah fown this bumpr-stickr at a Leftist Satire site, but ah still thawt it wuz purdy funny---it kahnda echoez whut Tony Snow said about the Elliphunt Pardy: they'z "Republicans in politikl drag."

A Riddle Fer Ewe

Q: Whud do ewe call summun who'z got a "opin mind"?

A: Mentally incontinent.

Speakin' O Harpiez...

This mighta bin the one't Hitlary took'z her roll modull.



(With uhpawlujeez ta Harper'z fer mah li'l "sh"emendayshn)

Got this imuj frum "NO DNC.com"

Iffn This Harpy Runz, Ahzza Gonna Havta-----

Stock up on sum sorta definse 'at's more powrful'n jis mah ole harmliss shootin ahrnz. Cuz ah'll be wunna the purrsonee non gratee on her list. Stay tuned fer Waco II ta tekk place at mah house. Mebbe ah'll hav summun build me wun o thim fortrissiz lahk they had in ole Yoorup (ah'z alweez fown thim fassinatin!).

(Imajiz curtissy ov "NO DNC.com")

Now That He'z Been Roomrd Ta Wanna Run Agin----

The furss tahm he run, ah wuz guzzlin' a lodda the pink stuff (ever tahm they playd hiz voice on the radeeyo), but ah jiss abowt CHOKED whin ah rayud recintlee 'at he'z possiblee gonna run AGIN!!!! Ewe reckun the Dimmercrats'd be THAT stoopid---twicet?

(Imuj courtesy of "No DNC.com")

This Uhdikshn Iz Indanjrin UTHRZ!

News Item: "A French woman has admitted attempting to open an aeroplane door mid-flight so that she could smoke a cigarette."

??????? Ah do buhleev 'at whin they frisks folk down 'n x-rayz thur baggij, matchiz 'n cigrett lighterz awtta be banned jiss lahk weppunz.

Thin agin, it mighta jiss been the wummun'z nashnalidee...

This Gal Goes In Mah Hall O Fame!

(This story happind in December in Akron)

Michael Predieri, 39, was arrested. Here's whut wint on:

Peanut Shoppe owner Marge Klein says the suspect acted as if he had a gun in his pocket when he tried to steal the cash register. She hit him over the head with a jar of candy before he took off without the loot. Police say earlier that day, Predieri tried to rob Serpico's -- They chased him off with a pizza spatula.

Makin' Light of Heavy-Duty Ishooz

Ah dunno if ah shood laff er cry bowt this here satire. Whin ewe furss see it, it duz crack ewe up. But thin, whin yoo thank abowt it, id ain't funny atall: furss, bucuz unforchoonutlee, ewe kin't git free o hell simply by totin arown sum li'l ole game card; secundlee, cuz it makes a mockery outta the truly free librashn frum Hell 'at Jesus pervided on the Cross. Iss troo that salvayshn (which BTW iz loss more'n jiss delivrunce frum Hell) iz free---fer **US**---but it coss Him agony¹⁰⁰⁰ on the Cross ta obtayn it fer us.

"Modern" Judjiz

Jiss Imajin Fer a Minute...

Jis Anuther Weezl Wurd

Regardin the whole isshoo ah wuz postin abowt a fyoo dayz ago, ah got a emayl frum summun who claymz ta be a "agnostik." Ah coon't figyoor owt how summun cood be a tree-branch n besahdz, ah nevr heerd bowt no tree called "agno," so ah dun gone n lookt it up. I fown sevrull innerestin deffernishnz:

(1.) A word first used by Professor Huxley, to indicate one who believes nothing which cannot be demonstrated by the senses.

(2.) Embraces a worldview in which the existence of deity is unknown or unknowable...from the Greek "agnostos," a = without, gnostos = known or knowledge.

(3) One who believes that the evidence for and against the existence of God is inconclusive.

(4) (a) One who questions religious or spiritual beliefs, and (b)who may choose not to claim any system of knowledge.

Ah chood on theze ideez a bit. Here'z whud ah thawt:

#1: Mr. H. iz thus denyin sech thangz az luv, hate, freedom, beauty n even thawts thimselvz, cuz nobuddy kin demonstrate that summun else haz thawts; thawts iz todully invizibl. (N don go gittin printid ledderz knfyoozd with thawts, cuz the prinnid letterz ain't the thawts themselvz, but jiss the rekurd o the thawts---whut the perfessr tole me iz calld a "arbitrary method of transcribing thoughts, subject to social convention.")

#2: Furss, this remindid me o that passij in ACTS 17:22, "Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. For as I passed along, and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription, `To an unknown god.' What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in shrines made by man...`In him we live and move and have our being,' as even some of your poets have said...The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now He commands all men everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by a Man whom He has appointed, and of this He has given assurance to all men by raising Him from the dead."

#2 also brought ta mahnd, "in Him the whole fulness of deity dwells bodily," and "in Him all the fulness of God was pleased to dwell" (COL. 2:9 & 1:19). We'z made o flesh 'n blood, so we haz a hard tahm mekkin out innythang frum the spurtchull relm. 'Ass why God becum flesh, so't we'd be able ta see Him 'n tech Him n talk with Him and hear Him n hav supper with Him.

#3: Wayull, now, if His cummin down in our frame ain't knkloosiv enuff fer summun, thin ah guess they'z jiss either (a) todully spurtchoolee blind, or (b) todully rebellyuss, or (c) both.

#4: (a) Ah ain't shore zacklee whuss bein sed here: duz it meen 'at the dowder don beleev 'at folk really holez spurtchull/relijuss beleefs? Or duz it meen the dowder hisself don beleev in the realiddy o inny spurtchull relm? (b) This iz almoss lahk Mr. H's problim in #1: if ewe don claim no systim o knawlidj, thin how kin ewe evn say ewe don claim no systim o knawlidj? Seemz ta me 't that thar dowdr'z in real bad shape, cuz he don reelly know if he evn iggziss (ah saw a thrayud at a forum once by summun who wuz havin jiss that kinda trubbl).

'Ass why ROMUNZ 1 sezzem type o folk "become foolz."

A Futile Ant-Heap Pullulation

"More than 2 million Muslim pilgrims from 178 countries prayed for salvation Monday at Mount Arafat, Islam's most sacred site..." Iss good they'z a'prayin fer salvashn, cuz they despurtlee needz it, but they needz ta git thur Biblz out n read where Jesus is talkin ta the Summurrtin wummun, "Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father...the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship Him."

"Islam requires that all Muslims who are financially and physically able make the hajj at least once." On the contrary, the Word That Liberates tellz us "let him who is thirsty come, let him who desires take the water of life without price" (REV. 22:17). It also tells us "How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?"

"Helicopters hovered above the plain — dotted by pilgrims all the way from Mecca to the base of the mount — to guard against the tragedies, mainly stampedes, that have marred the hajj in past years. Two years ago, 244 people were trampled to death when the crowd panicked during the ritual stoning of the devil, which happens Tuesday."

Stampeedz 'n stonin the devil...sigh. Mah dearist misguidid Muzlimz, if yoo'd jis gitchoo The Right Book, ewe'd KNOW that (a) the Devil ain't fizikull, so no amownt o stonin'z gonna harm him and (b) precisely fer that reezn, he had to be conkurrd anuthr way, that iz, thru Summun who had the power ta snuff him out. The Word That Liberates tellz us, "For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil" (1st Letter o John, 3:8). It also tellz us that "the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet [are], and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever" (REV. 20:10).

Ah Haz A Murrer-Imij Raht Here At Blogspot!

This here geezerette is in love with video games. "Barbara St. Hilaire plays video games 10 hours a day and spends a good part of her Social Security check on games." No, ah ain't innerestid nohow in video games, but iss her senyer citizn status and her NAME 'ass kin ta mine: "Ole Gramma Hardcore." (Me, ah'd havta call mahseff "Chessnut Granny," cuz ah'z tuff 'n spiky on the ousside, but soff'z moss on the inside.) N Ah thank her lass name fits her to a "t" cuz iss hullairyuss 'at a granny'd spin that much time 'n $$$$ on video gamez.

The Oryint's Answer Ta "Hevy Meddl"

This here iz a robot the Japunneze'z cum out with. (Izziss thur vurzhn of the Golem? ) Wuss with a robot havin eyez? N evn more stumpin,' whuss he got chomprz fer? (Bet they'z made o space-aje mutturyullz, so he don't havta wurry bowt no dinnist vizits.) They don show us on the pitcher, but duz he hav a esawfuguss, too? N a stomach? N thin, o course, the lawjikkl "ind" kwestchun iz, duz he....er, need a outhowse?

'Ass Whud He Iz!

Sumpin uhkurrd ta me: yoo'z hurd o "homophobez" (which the Perfessr sez iz a misnomer, bec. folk who'z aginst sodomy ain't AFEARED ov it [altho thar'd be good reezn ta fear its outcome, AIDS], but rathr, they'z got a REVULSHN aginst it----'ass troo; 'ass zacklee the way ah feel bowd it). Wayull, folk like Casketoli iz theophobez: they'z so turrified o God, they'd even purrzoom ta lejisl8 Him outta iggzistunss.

Ta rephraze whut ah sed urlyer: ass abowt like tryin ta lejisl8 graviddy outta iggzistunss.

PS Ta Mah Lass Intry

Ahz myoozin: speakin o court trialz, id'll be innerestin at the Lass Trial (the Celesstchull One) ta see whut kahnda shenanigunz ole Casketoli (n all his ilk, fer that maddr) will try ta yooz ta git outta bein sint ta Eternul Kwarunteen. Ah kin jiss see it now:

[Havin' jiss heard hiz sintince] "This is preposterous! All rational people know there is NO such thing as some sort of dante-esque endless inferno. I challenge you to prove it to me!"

N God'll oblige him right quick.

Stranj Way Ta Spindjer Retiremint

This iz the latist installmint on the Cascioli story (ewe know, the retired guy who'z sooin the Cathlix in Italy fer swindlin n sech---see my poss 3 stops down). Iffn this feller wuzn't symbolik o all 'at's wrong with the "modern" wurl, ah'd be laffin mah hayud off. Here's the prize tidbits from the latest episode of "Az the Atheist Turnz (Yer Stummuch):"

----"The Church constructed Christ upon the personality of John of Gamala," Cascioli claimed, referring to the 1st century Jew who fought against the Roman army.--- Wayull, nah, befohr ah evn bothr ta look up the fax abowt this feller Gamala, ah kin tell yew right off't Casketoli obviously nevr larnd nuthin bowt the Bible at that thar siminary he wint to (as an aside, THAT ain't surprizin), bec. innybuddy evn mildly ackwaynid with Jesus knowz't He warn't no opponent of the Roman army. He cum straight out 'n tole ole Pilate that since His kingdom warn't ov this earth, Hiz survunts wuzn't tekkin up no armz ta furthr 'at thar Kingdom. (As an aside: that don mean He wuz a pacifist. Elsewhere, He commandz hiz disciplz ta sell thur mantl n git them a sword. But that wuz fer self-defense, not fer wajin no bloody jee-hawd.)

Awright, now ah'll go do mah homework 'n look up this Gamaliel feller---oops, the perfessr jis tole me ta check mah spellin: Gamaliel wuz Pawl'z mintor. The pyoodadiv prototype fer Jesus is Gamala....

[Later] Hmph! This John of Gamala feller spozidlee wuz the son o Judas. 'At in itself mekks the whole thang nonsinse, cuz o the timin'!

So, less turn back ta this colorful Casketioli character:
---"In my book, The Fable of Christ, I present proof Jesus did not exist as a historic figure. He [Casketioli's former fellow siminuryun] must now refute this by showing proof of Christ's existence," Cascioli said.---

Sigh, jis readjer Bible, Mr. Casket. It clearly tellzyoo 'at the ultimut proof of His existence wuz the Rezurrekshn.

One thang'z inkurrijin, tho: them judjiz ovr thar in ole Eyetally sownz like they'z heaps more sinsibl than ahrz here stateside: "The judge presiding over the hearing has tried, repeatedly, to dismiss the case----prompting appeals from Cascioli."

Ah thank that ole judj awtta jis throw Casketioli out while he'z at it.

The ABC's of Enmity

This iz a kntinyooashn o mah lass poss, promptid by yet anuther emayl frum Mr. Sfistikit (ewe'll nodiss 'at thar wurd haz "Sophist" in it...). "Granny, you still haven't addressed how it is that if I don't even believe in this entity called 'God', I could in any way harbor enmity against 'Him'."

Furss off, ah luv the langwij he yooziz here: "entity." At bess, it impurrsnulliziz God, turnz Him inta a E=mc² typa ekwazhn; at wurss, it mekks Him inta a amorfuss vapor or sum sorda knkoksn in yore hayud. I haz a imij o Mr. S. danglin God by hiz layg, the way ewe might do with a spider yoo'z iggzaminin: "Hmnnnn, interesting specimen we have here. Shall we allow it to exist, or shall we squash it?" Ta add insult ta injree, he proceedz ta put the wurdz G-o-d n H-i-m in kwotashn marks.

Wayull, "Mr. S.," franklee, ah ain't shore ah shood evn bother replyin ta "yew," cuz ah ain't atall knvinsst't "ewe" ain't jis a cyberflook, or one of them fantazmz o mah mahnd 't sumtahmz showz up aftr wun o mah uhkazhnl spellz at the still. "Yer" emayl kood just be sumpin 'at got brood up by Ole Papa Random Chance; it might not kum frum no real purrsun. Aftr awl, ah hain't nevr seedjoo. "Yer" poss kooda bin sum sorda hoax er sumpin. Yew know, jiss writtn bah a impostr who'z claymin ta be "ewe."

But ah'll hyoomr yew; ah'll indulj yer iggzistince fer a momint and dayn ta answr yer query: the slooshn ta yer riddle iz not that difficult. God iz holy 'n we ain't, so by nature, we haz big-tahm gilt and fear ov Him; we don lahk Him. So, rathr'n be restor'd ta Him by Hiz prvizhn (in O.T. tahmz, that wuz thru the Sacrifice at the Mercy Seat [which wuz a type of the Sacrifice ta cum]; in N.T. tahmz, iss thru His Ultimate Sacrifice, His Son), rathr'n avoid the flood'o wrath frum Him by jumpin on the Ark that iz Christ, instead, we mekk up all kahndza (putheddik) "shieldz" n figleevs. The moss cunnin trick we yooz ta dodj Him iz tellin owrselvz He don iggziss. Iss whutchoo might call the Consummutt Denial. Iss kahnda lahk whut them Kommeez did ta them folk they wuz hostull to: they made'm inta "non-ennideez." (Thar'zzat wurd agin.)

Bud denyin the Creaddur who madejoo iz abowt lahk denyin graviddy.

Nuthr Reakshn Frum the Fryin Emailer

Yoo reedrz know't ah'z gottn fryin emaylz frum tahm ta tahm frum that irassibull innerlokyootr (got 'at wurd frum the perfessr!)---the wun who puts on all kahnza ayerz. Wayull, he jiss sint me anuthr wun, in rsponse ta mah lass poss: "Please, Granny, do explain how it is possible to have enmity against someone who not only doesn't exist but isn't believed in."

Wayull, Suh, ewe iz uhsoomin God don iggziss---ain't azzif ewe got inny proof. But 'at same furss chaptr in ROMANS 'at talks abowt folk keepin the trooth impriznd also makes it clear't hyoomunz know (wayyy down inside) 't God exists. 'Ass becuz the whole Creation jiss SCREEMZ it atchoo. In the same way ewe kin tell that ballet X iz by Tchaikovsky, or tone poem Y iz by Smetana, or symphony Q iz by Dvorak, ewe kin tell't the Opus called "Universe" wuz cumpozd by God. Iss got Hiz style writtn all over it. Ewe kin't miss it.

But jiss lahk folks kin ixplode thur eerz inta deffniss bah lissnin ta all 'at Hades-inspired blastin Rock, the hyoomun soul kin git "deff," too, by constuntly listnin ta liez.

N the modrn wurl iz expert at fabrikatin reel sfistik8d liez. 'At furss lie in the Garden looks lahk mere fingerpaintin kumpared to the Boschian liez that's been concoktid in the pass two hunnert or so yeerz.

U.S. Anti-Godderz Kin Git Ideez Frum This Fella!

So ewe thought it wuz bayud 'at here in the U.S. o A., they'z bannin Christmas and prayer in the skoolz and sech. Ewe ain't seen nuthin yet:

-----Luigi Cascioli says Enrico Righi [a Cathlik priest], and by extension the whole Church, broke two Italian laws. The first is "Abuso di Credulita Popolare" (Abuse of Popular Belief) meant to protect people against being swindled or conned. The second crime, he says, is "Sostituzione di Persona," or impersonation.-----

Nah, mah reederz know't ah ain't no frin o the R.C. church, but ah do fahnd it uhstowndin,' the lingths ta which folk will go ta fight thur Creaddur-Redeemer 'n block Him outta their sight. Shore illustrates whut ROMANS sez: (Ch.1) they don like retainin God in thur knowlidj, so they suppress the trooth abowd Him [Perfessr tole me the Greek verb akshly meenz "emprison"] n thin, they profess'mselvz ta be wize, but in fack, they'z nuthin but foolz. (Ch.8) The mind set on the wurl is hostile ta God; thar'z inmity toward Him frum the folk who thank this here earthly diminshn'z all thar iz.

Ah kint buhleeve them ole lawz ain't invoked aginst the Commies in that lan, cuz Commiez definitely kwalifiez az swinlerz n impersunnadrz. Ask innybuddy who wint thru the torchurz n wretchidniss o the Goolag (ain't no kwinsidinss 't that word has "gool" in it, whut with the goolish stuff 't wint on in thoze placiz).

N ov course, them Commiez wuz the ultimutt anti-Godderz.

More Sowellizmz

"Whatever you may think about the death penalty, it has the lowest recidivism rate of any of the ways of fighting crime."

"If a captured terrorist knows where a nuclear bomb has been planted in some American city, and when it is timed to go off, are millions of Americans to be allowed to be incinerated because we have become too squeamish to get that information out of him by whatever means are necessary?"

"Do we really want a federal law that will enable captured terrorists to be able to take their cases to the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals?"

"...the rights granted to captured troops by the Geneva Convention apply to those who have accepted the terms of the Geneva Convention. It does not apply to people who are not troops and who have blatantly violated the whole framework of that convention."

"In the name of tolerance, these countries have imported intolerance, of which growing antisemitism in Europe is just one example. In the name of respecting all cultures, Western nations have welcomed people who respect neither the cultures nor the rights of the population among whom they have settled."

"[Cultural] Balkanization has been glorified as "diversity" and diversity has become too sacred to defile with anything so gross as hard facts."

"Playing games with household income statistics enables the political left to keep hyping poverty, even as genuine poverty is declining to a point that would endanger the political agenda of the left, if the public understood."

Ecce Homo: Let the Afroz Adopp THIS Man Az Thur Leadr!!!!

Tom Sowell's a sharp-thankin man, one whoze ideez iz like penicillin in the face o the social septicimia 'at's been on a steddy creshendo fer the pass 4o yearz; here'z a cuppla extrax frum wun o hiz essayz (yew kin get all ov'm at townhall.com):

"The physical devastation caused by hurricane Katrina has painfully revealed the moral devastation of our times...

During good times or bad, the police cannot police everybody. They can at best control a small segment of society. The vast majority of people have to control themselves.

That is where the great moral traditions of a society come in -- those moral traditions that it is so hip to sneer at, so cute to violate, and that our very schools undermine among the young, telling them that they have to evolve their own standards, rather than following what old fuddy duddies like their parents tell them.

Any of us could have been in New Orleans. And what could we have depended on to save us? Situational ethics? Postmodern philosophy? The media? The lawyers? The rhetoric of the intelligentsia?

No, what we would have to depend on are the very things that are going to save the survivors of hurricane Katrina, the very things that clever people are undermining.

New Orleans can be rebuilt and the levees around it shored up. But can the moral levees be shored up, not only in New Orleans but across America?"
(All imfaseez mahn)

Reakshnz Ta Killin Ideez

Mercy me, sum Sosho-Plitikl turmite jis shot me a fryin' emayl (iss the same guy ah kwotid below in one of mah urlyer poss): "Just exactly HOW do you propose to 'kill' ideas, Geezerette?" (Mebbe he'z jiss upset 'at tahm hain't yet killed me off, the way hiz ilk iz waitin on pinz 'n needlz fer all us oldsters ta die off, so't they kin then pour in their pyootrid agenda full-blass, on a morully and spiritchoolee bankrupp popyooluss.)

Simpl: yew "kill" piznuss ideez with helthee wunz. In a societee az we haz had historiklee (tho grannid, iss fadin fass), thar wuz whut they lahk ta call "the markitplace o ideez." You dissimin8 TRUTH, cuz only truth'll act as a lookussite aginst the infekshn cawzd by vuryuss liez. Course, whin a society haz been committin morull n spurtchull suicide fer 4 decades, iss hard ta hav the trooth heard innymore. Yoo ind up bein like Isaiah, a itty-bitty inawdibl voice in a wasslan howlin with fierce wolves.

Bud don fergit whut felled them monsterz in Orsun Wellez' "War o the Wurlz."

His Ideez Wuz Ixplosiv

Ah wuncet rayud a book calld IDEAS HAVE CONSEQUENCES (by Richard Weaver, ah beleev). Zacklee! Piznuss ideez iz ta culcher 'n society what bacteria 'n virusiz iz ta the body. 'Ass why iss so impordunt ta KILL the perliferashn of certin ideez (nodiss: ah din't say harm the folk who hold'm; ah sed kill the **IDEEZ.**) Recintlee, ah wuz readin' a good essay by Linda Kimball, where she dun a great job o illustratin the power of ideez:

"Exactly what is ‘individualism,' how is it linked to Christianity, and why do collectivists see it as evil? Part of the answer is revealed by how the whole world counts time: Before Christ (B.C.) and A.D. (Anno Domini). Before Christ (B.C.), the collectivization and/or ‘oneness’ of pagan pantheism ruled the world. The process of ‘individualizing human beings’ first began when God led (what was labeled as the lesser beings known as) the Hebrews out of bondage to the Egyptians. The Hebrews' subsequent actions literally paved the way for the birth of Jesus Christ. (Keep in mind that because human life, and in particular that of unborn and newborns was cheap, Christ’s birth was truly a miraculous event, given prevailing attitudes.)

Jesus Christ, having been ‘born into the darkness of the world’ proved Himself to be the world’s ultimate Revolutionary and One Source of true Enlightenment. It was His gospel of ‘Good News” that brought salvation to the souls of the 'lesser' beings. He did this by revealing to them that each and every human person is created in the image of his Maker; endowed with both intrinsic value and a soul within which reside both conscience and free-will. Jesus Christ literally liberated the souls of all lesser beings from the miasma of ‘oneness’, thereby bringing them out of the darkness of spiritual bondage and into the light where their spirits could soar freely as unique individuals, as they are before the eyes of their Maker.

Tragically, we have forgotten how profoundly radical Paul’s message to Philemon was when, in writing to Philemon about his run-away slave Onesimus, Paul said: “Receive him (Onesimus) not as a slave, but as a brother beloved.” This was among the most revolutionary concepts the world had ever heard—a slave—a lesser being on the level of a soulless animal who could be used as an animated tool, was actually a beloved brother.

Jesus Christ’s radical gospel proclaimed that God is Sovereign over the whole of creation, thus there is no such thing as ‘divine’ kings, elites, etc. It further proclaimed that all men are equally ‘fallen’ and therefore sinners. These revolutionary concepts were literally cataclysmic in their effects upon the ancient power structure. Christ proclaimed that no one is above God’s law, no human being is to be worshipped, nature (the creation) is not to be worshipped, and no human being has the right to force his will upon the rest of God’s children. The spread of the Good News eventually led to the collapse of the ancient world."

Worlwide 4giveness Alliance

Kin ewe buhLEEEVE thar's akshully a associashn lahk that? They'z tryin ta git a innernashnull "Day of Forgiveness." N they haz heroz, too, yessiree, they do: starts out with the yoozhwull Leftist Litany of Mahatmer Ghander, MLK, Nelson Mandolin, DeMundane Tutu, et al. Ah kepp lookin' n lookin' fer the foremoss hero of all in this category, but strangely nuff (er mebbe ah should say, consistently nuff), He wuz absint: Jesus Christ, "the Lamb of God Who taketh away the sin of the world." The One Who's the Ultimate Giver of 4giveness (cuz yer earthly fergivniss frum a mordull here er there won dubbl az no open sesame fer gittin inta Heaven), who took **ALL** the sins of the world into His pohr scourged 'n crucified body, so that innybuddy cood git Celestial Fergivniss in Him.

This here Society Fer Soodow-4givniss made me thank o the vuryuss uthr cownnerfits the Master Faker haz pawned off on hyoomaniddy over the millenia. Thangz like the ole fruit tree in The Garden, and the vuryuss Izmz (Communizm n Nazizm wuz jiss false relijunz in disguize) n the lie about Nirvana n Karma n Reincarnation, and.... Yessirree, ewe gotta hand it to him, he's real good at his trade, which The WORD sums up as mekkin hisself look "like an angel of light."

Wuss sad izzat so minny folk down on this here planit PREFER the cownerfit stuff to the Real Manna.

Neil Postman, Whut Woodjoo Thank o **THIS**?

More hilarity in the guize o spurtchooalitee: on mah Compuserv main page, thar'z a site called "GodTest.com." with the headin' "Suicide Thoughts?" Now, mindjoo, whin yer a hunnert 'n four, iss purdy much gurrunteed 'atchoo ain't part of the suicidal bunch, so ah din't go thar cuz o that. But a "GodTest"??? (Ah thawtchoo wuzn't spozd ta put Him ta the test!!! Er else, iff ewe thank ewe kin giv God sum sorda test, His grade'd be off the chart. [How kin sum puny, fallibull mordull perzoom ta be able ta evalyoo8 his own---PERFECK!!!---Mekker???]) Not ta minshn 'at, iff'n ah wuz sooissahdl, ah shore'z blaziz woon't wanna tekk no silly ole "test" (fer them pohr folk, life itself wuz alreddy too much of a "test").

Turnz out, the "test" iz only 3 kweschunz, and they ain't got no scorez attacht; they'z jiss ta deturmin (suppozidly) where ewe stan spurchoolee (in Hiz fold or outta Hiz fold or inbetween [zzat what they mean by "limbo"?]) Wayull, az ewe iz tekkin the "test," the screen keeps gittin attacked by pop-ups from the authorz ov the "test." Ah do beleeve the wun't tekks the cake izzis wun:

"We love you dear one [Hah kin ewe luv summun ewe ain't never had no innerakshn with? "Canned luv"]...Play our prayer for you [???? Ah wuz aleez unner the impreshn't prayer wuz sumpin lahv 'n real, sumpin a real persun duz toward a real God or fer a real persun!], then....sign up for our FREE 10 Dayz of Encouragement." Jiss 10 Dayz? Whin Jesus cumz into yer soul, He'z thar not jiss fer 10 dayz or even all the yearz yer karkuss maht still work; no, He promisiz ta be with yew FEREVER! Hallelooyah! "I will never leave or forsake you." "Nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus." (ROMANS 8, last verse).

Ah shore am glad God din't chooze ta kummyoonik8 with us cyber-style, but instead went 'n took on ahr vuri flesh so He cood talk ta us drecklee.